Cat missing - and it's bonfire night tomorrow

Kimberley

So sorry for your loss, I don't know what I would do if one of my kittens were ever to get out because I know they wouldn't have any danger issues and being the type of cat they are they wouldn't stand a chance in the outside world. At least she did not suffer.

lowis

really feeling for you, i promise you the pain does subside and the tears get fewer and start to be replaced by smiles and find memories. i am 5 months on from losing Storm my little siamese girl, and even though i do get tearful still when i think about her, it is not with the same underlying wracking pain i felt in the immediate weeks after she passed away.

lexi gifted you with many memories to keep her alive even though she has physically gone from you...she will always be with you in one way that can never be taken from you.

Lexi left a great legacy...i would imagine that most people who have read this thread have now emailed their local MP after seeing the Cats Protection link in an earlier post. so i thank Lexi for bringing this to my attention as I was not aware of this before.

as for other people making you feel bad about not keeping your cat indoors, just ignore them. i have had outdoor cats and indoors cats and both type seemed absolutely fine and happy. just ignore anyone who tried to drag you into that argument hugs

lexilex

I feel permenently sick in the pit of my stomach. During the day it's quite easy to forget she's never gonna come back. It's in a morning and on a night when she's not here been a little !!!!!!, scratching the walls, or getting our feet or sleeping on me.

Went to football yesterday. I just sat there staring into space. My boyf offered to take me home at half time but I thought after all he's done for me this week that would have been really unfair.

Last night I had a big cry. The songs on xfactor set me off. I started getting really angry aswell, at the person who did it, and didn't even stop, and just because she's gone and left me.

What upsets me a lot is the last time I saw her, just before we buried her, she had blood all in her mouth. I can't get that image out my head.

I feel guilty aswell. I should never have got her, I was been selfish, after already having two cats killed I should have known what would happen. And I saw her on Monday at 5.30. I should have brought her in then.

Yesterday on the way to football a cat ran across the road. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I couldn't stand it. Could hardly breathe.

I can't get another cat. However much I'd love to, and I would, I love them to bits, it's just not fair on them living here. Having three cats killed in 8 years, all in the same way, is too much. 2 of them have been killed in the last three years.

I just wish I could no she was in no pain, and that she's in a better place now.

foreign_correspondent

We are all selfish when we get animals to a degree - we want their company and companionship, but in return we provide them with tasty food, affection, a warm bed and our company.

A short fulfilled life is better than a long miserable one in my opinion, and cats just love to run and explore. Personally I am not sure keeping cats indoors is fair to them - I think it denies their natural instincts to roam and be free, and that to keep them indoors is more selfish than allowing them to follow their instincts.

My first job after leaving school (many years ago!) was as a zoo-keeper (I know, a bit bizarre!! lol!) and I observed that whilst herbivores (zebras, wallabies etc) appear to be perfectly happy caged, (so long as they are fed and watered they seem content) carnivores are much more complex and do not do at all well.

Animals such as lynx, wildcats etc quickly become frustrated and disturbed, pacing and displaying obsessive and repetitive behaviour. As a result, I think there are some animals, including domestic cats that just need freedom, its part of their nature, and to constrain them is unfair. I know some of you that keep house cats, cats in runs etc will disagree, but this is my opinion.

Your cat died chasing across a road - playing, running, and living the natural life of a cat. You gave her that freedom, and the downside is the risk - but she loved it. She has gone now, and in one leap went from running free and happy to being gone. What a way to go.

Maybe, Lexilex if you live on a main road, you might be best not having another cat at the moment, as this has caused you such pain - or if you do how about adopting an older, very streetwise cat?

I do know many people who have had cats on main roads and not had them run over, so I think, to an extent, you have just been unlucky.

If you miss the company of a cat how about volunteering to do a bit of volunteering at a local cat shelter - I heard of someone volunteering to be a 'cat cuddler' for the CPL - giving cats a fuss to keep them used to human contact! Sounds like a nice job to me, and would let you help some other cats which may help you feel better.

vaksam

Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about your Lexie. Don't feel so bad about being upset, it's natural and will ease over time. That said, you never forget your little furry friends, my cat Purdy who I'd had since I was 15, died in 2004 and I still miss her and even have the odd blub!

And please don't feel selfish. It sounds like she had a wonderful life with you that was full of love, and as the previous poster said, a short happy life is much much better than a long and miserable one.

I also agree that you may have been unlucky with your cats - when I was living at home we had 3 cats over the years (plus lots of short visits from other cats as my mum used to end up cat sitting for all her friends) and only one of them got run over, despite living on a very busy road. My gran on the other hand lived in a quiet cul-de-sac and lost two of hers in two years to the road, so I do believe that luck plays a part too. Some cats just seem to be 'outdoor' cats by nature, and it would be crueller to keep them in.

That said, my 3 present cats are all indoor cats, as their breed never seems to learn road-sense like most of the other breeds do (they are bengals). Having had both indoor and outdoor cats over the years I think a lot comes down to the individual personality and temprement of the cat. Our 3 at the moment are as happy (imo) as outdoor cats. Yet there would have been murder if we had tried to keep Purdy in! I think a lot of it comes down to the breed and the individual animal involved.

lowis

lexilex - if at some time in the future you want another cat there are options for you.

some cats have to be kept indoors for their own safety and that of other cats - such as FiV cats (not a danger to humans) or blind and deaf cats, so if you did want to get another cat you could explore adopting one of these? often if you adopt a special needs kitty the rescue will cover vet fees for that condition for the rest of the cat's life too. then of course there are older cats that need indoor homes too - old cats mostly like to sleep and laze around anyway. it can be extremely rewarding having a special needs kitty - and what a great legacy for Lexi if you went down that route. some more info here if this sounds a possibility http://www.foalcats.org.uk/Cats%20for%20homing.htm

also, there are a lot of pedigree cats in pedigree rescue centres which, more often than not, are indoor cats and one of the conditions of adopting them is that they stay indoor cats. i have had three siamese and they have all been indoor cats (mostly because i live on the 11th floor!) - they are very happy, energetic and healthy - i have a huge supply of toys for them and of course they have each other to chase around day and night. some pedigree rescue links:

http://www.siameserescue.org.uk/homeswanted.htm
http://www.burmesecatclub.com/
http://www.rexcatassociation.org.uk/
http://www.catchat.org/adoption/pedigree.html


anyway, i know you are still hurting badly - and it is normal to experience guilt, i did after Storm died, i started to analyse everything, to see if i could have done more for her...then i beat myself up that i wasn't in the correct position when the vet put her to sleep, so much so i called my vet (now a friend) and asked him if i had done everything right. it's a process we all go through. take care x

CelticStar

So, so, sorry to hear of your loss. My heart really goes out to you. But you gave your cat a lovely, free life, she was happy and contented and obviously adored you, I hope you can take comfort in that.

I think what the poster above has posted is very interesting and could perhaps, when you feel able to, be a way for you to have another cat without there being the risk that they will be run over too.

Take care and I hope you feel a little better soon.

Hectors_House

I'm going to cut a little bit of her fur and keep that, and we're going to get all the photographs off my phone and my boyfriends developed and put them in an album. I dont know what to do with all her toys, and scratch posts and treats etc. I don't feel like I can just throw them away. Even after they're gone there's still daft stuff everywhere that reminds me off her, like the fact my bedroom walls are totally shreaded from when we first got her, the little !!!!!!.

That's a good idea to keep some of her fur.

We always bury toys and favourite blankets with our cats when they go.

I'm sure she went quickly and without pain.

A friend of mine with 4 cats used to find them playing with a ghost cat in the house she was renting. She saw the spook cat a few times as it used to follow the skirting board when it moved around the house. And another friend lost two kittens when they drowned in a neighbour's swimmingpool. He felt them jumping up onto his bed a couple of time afterwards. The time you felt her jump up onto your bed was probably her coming back to say goodbye.

lexilex

Thanks again everyone.

It's a week today since I last saw her, and a week since she was run over.

I feel like I'm totally going mad. Yesterday I thought I was doing quite well, I didn't cry, I talked about her, but didn't get upset about it. Then last night I went out to babysit and I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stand been there. I felt like someone was strangling me, and I couldn't breath. I don't know whether it was because I was doing something 'normal' and Lexi wasn't going to be there when I got home, or because I wasn't at home, where I feel closer to her, but I really couldn't stand it.

When we were shopping yesterday too I felt like that. All the pet stuff just seemed to jump out at me, all the stuff I would have bought her usually.

I'm back at Uni today, my bf is coming with me, I can't bring myself to drive on my own. Even with him in the car next to me, I'm still really panicky. Obviously at the moment there are a lot of leaves blowing about in the road and I was finding myself going to the break thinking they were animals running out into the road.

I just feel like I'm losing the plot. She was like my child. She looked after me and I looked after her. When I was ill a couple of weeks ago she never left my side.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I may think about another cat in the future, but the thought of it at the moment makes me feel really sick.

Sazzyukrafc

Oh my god, my heart really goes out to you. I have two cats of the same age as yours (brothers) and they mean the world to us. We treat them like children and I can understand how much she meant to you.

One of mine went missing for 24hrs a few months ago and our world ended. Luckily, he came home - it seems he was stuck in a garage. For a day we believed he had been taken from us. I was a wreck.

I can't even start to understand how you must feel right now. The only thing you can take from this is that at least you know what happened and that she didn't suffer. Not knowing would be worse.

I should also say how awful for the person not to stop and how lovely for the other person for taking her, so she wasn't left there.

If you need anyone, I'm here.