Does Being broke turn you into a grump

clarab_3

we've all been there - Im there about 2 weeks after payday every month!

Its a long haul thing, and Im jealous of my friends that can spend without thinking, and then feel terrible because they are all more than generous and lovely to me.

you know you arent a ba person, an that your current situation is a temporary one - you never know whats going on in the next persons life, they might be struggling to - you are maybe ahead of the curve acting on your debts before they are!

discodiva123

Just been reading through this post and i agree with a lot of pounts.

Being in debt does make me grumpy. ive just come back from working abroad and am now looking for a job. so it does get me down when my mates are out clubbing and i cant afford to go. but in another way im happy for what i have. Im healthy, happy and have more than some. Ive got some interviews for jobs i really want coming up so fingers crossed and a sprinkle of fairy dust i get one and then i can really start to tackle my debt and have fun

everyone is jealous of something or someone its human nature. we all strive to want more than we have. it cant be helped but dont be hard on yourself. It could be worse at least im waking up to my debt like many on here and determined to give it a good thrashing hopfully with a smile on my face more times than a frown

paybacktime2008

However I'd rather be grumpy than living in lala land.

ChrisDuffield

I think being broke SHOULD turn someone into a grump! At least it shows that they are worried about their situation and are more likely to take steps to imporve it!

Nothing annoys me more than people borrwing money, up to their eyeballs in debt, and seemingly cheerful about it (that is until the **** hits the fan!).

bathgatebuyer

Well said! One of the things I ntoice about being in debt is that when the reality hits, it's a sore one to take. The grumpy broke ones are the ones who have taken responsibility to put it right, the others not so.

A good friend of mine was telling me she gets slagged by her colleagues for checking her account daily and checking off those direct debits and payments as they come off her account as she budgets for the month ahead, and she's habitually slated for buying out of Poundland in her lunchbreak . She gets grumpy because of their comments but as she said herself, she's the only one in their who doesn't have debt, and who has taken the steps to avoid it. The others seem to be on holiday all the time without a care in the world.

Sometimes it's difficult to see the bigger picture sometimes, but I wonder who really is jealous of who - the person who is responsible with their money, or the ones spending willfully trying to cheer up the lives they do not feel worthwhile?

moanymoany

It can be very hard to re-adjust your priorities and be satisfied with them. I think most people have suffered from jealousy and it can be a very difficult emotion to control.

The boot buying colleague may have saved for months for her boots - she may have put them onto an already overloaded credit card - the trouble is all that we see is the pair of fab boots! :rolleyes:

Here are a couple of sites with loads of ideas on how to be happy


http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=partner-pub-9543332082073187:36zk2w-ig14&cof=FORID:11&ie=UTF-8&q=be+happy&sa=Search#1065

and how to stop feeling jealous.

http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=partner-pub-9543332082073187:36zk2w-ig14&cof=FORID:11&ie=UTF-8&q=stop+being+jealous&sa=Search#1392

It can't hurt to have a look - and who knows, you might find something to cling on to in the face of wonderful boots.

moanymoany

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

(10 years younger than me too...............and thinner :mad: ) .

That's what really pi**es me off! Thinner! :rotfl:

76rosie

Getting free stuff can be as rewarding as spending money. Freecycle is great. I once got alovely pair of nike trainers there. Maybe try to get free samples and extra bargains and there could be some change for a treat. I doubt you'll be as grumpy after a little treat. Life keeps kicking me and my hubby and you just have to try harder. Maybe next year will be brighter.

moo_cow

hi icka, I guess it does make us grumpy but I think we're entitled. I've been in debt before, this being my second outing and I have to say it has impacted tremendously this time. The first time i don't think it affected me too badly. This time it has knocked me for six. To be honest, relish those 6 months you have left and whilst some people are spending like there's no tomorrow it has to be said that I doubt they can sustain it. And that's not me being judgmental. I've been in that position where money is feely spent. I think most of us have. and boy oh boy do I realise what i've got now. (apart from the debt). this second outing for me has been a real wake up call. £200 for me is as it is for 'bathgatebuyer' and I suspect is for most of us. The best feeling of all is when you are able to spend a little later, not on plastic or loans but on hard earned well saved CASH. oddly enough I was that way years ago. save and only buy when I had saved enough. the start of my worries was a 1k 'gift' from the alliance and leicester when they floated as a bank. i'd never seen so much money and got carried away.It led to an out of control urge to spend. went on a DMP paid it back in 3 years. And hey presto i'm here agin with 22k to repay. harsher but better lesson. and one i'm grateful for. odd thing to say I know but i finally get it. I finally get the value of peace of mind, true friendship, and not keeping up with the jones's.
keep your chin up and congratulations on almost being debt free. be proud!!!!

Georgiesmum_2

I can understand why you might feel jealous and grumpy - after all if you are in debt you aren't just trying to make ends meet, you are having to seriously cut back and pay back!
However as others have said these feelings can be overcome and it can be really useful to view your predicament in a different way. You have chosen to become debt free - if others want to spend and get into debt that is a problem that they will have to live with. Sadly, I also feel that our society is so full of people who only care about things - possessing them and getting bigger and better. I haven't been in seriously big debt before - but have had lots of times when money was extremely tight - one of those is right now. I gave up a job as a deputy head when my daughter was born and one way or another we have managed. My husband works hard and does more overtime, I have done all sorts of things to bring in a bit of extra cash, but what has prevented us from going into debt more than anything was a very tight budget and a do we want this or need it attitude? Very very strict budgeting, looking at all sorts of ways to be thrifty, growing my own veg, keeping chickens, making my own clothes, cooking my own food etc etc. Sorry if this sounds like I'm blowing my own trumpet - but actually I don't do this very often!! Honest!
I am actually a better person for it - as I can now live by my principles and those who get off on having the latest, most fashionable stuff are probably not really happy deep down.
Also as someone else has already posted - I know lots of others who would view our situation quite differently. We would be rolling in it compared to many families I know. Then again I have friends who have loads - but they don't rub it in and my closest friend will be very thrifty even if she doesn't need to because it is her principles not to be wasteful and careless with that which comes at a price. When I think back to what on earth I did with almost £40k a year it scares me! I now do the same with only £5k so it just goes to show how wasteful with money I was. My daughter has everything she needs (and possibly wants!!) as I do spend money on her more than anything else. However, most of her clothes are hand-me downs, NCT sale purchases, home made, hand knitted etc. Toys too - a few have been bought new, but most are from the same kind of sources. Freecyle has been my saving grace too!
Best of luck to everyone here - you are all working so hard to do what is best for you. You should all be very proud of yourselves because before long you will be debt free and learning how to make choices which you can be live with sustainably. The new way of being is like shaking off a habit that controls you and now you control it!