Does Being broke turn you into a grump

ltm07

I can't see what the problem is with what the guy was asking! He was asking for advice on how to do things that he & his family like doing, only on a cheaper basis. He has also thanked people too. Maybe he's read some of the negative posts aimed at him & thought, what's the point!

Mozette

Ever thought that all these people you see spending money are just people who haven't had their light bulb moment yet?

Do you know they can actually afford to spend?

clearmydebts

ltm07 wrote: »

I can't see what the problem is with what the guy was asking! He was asking for advice on how to do things that he & his family like doing, only on a cheaper basis. He has also thanked people too. Maybe he's read some of the negative posts aimed at him & thought, what's the point!

I don't have a problem with him asking for help at all. My post was picked up on and I am just responding. Plenty of people agreed with the OP and I was one of them but for some reason it was just my post that was picked up on and quoted.

As I said earlier, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some people thought he was a bit insensitive, some didn't. That's life, not everyone agrees to everything.

LilacPixie

I also think some people have either not read glens thread or have gotten the wrong end of the stick.

Glen did not write that he is bored with 'only' £200 a month on entertainment etc.

Glen wrote that he recognises the family debt stems from spending a whopping £600 pm on entertainment (which i can understand) He says the family limit is now £200 but HIS WIFE is having trouble adjusting. His wife is getting upset and Glen being a nice husband pops on to MSe to us friendly bunch to ask for help. Poor Glen doesn't want to see his wife upset he wants a happy wife and no debt.

What do we give poor Glen??? a damm hard time, Glen is a relative newbie with very few post yet many off us just couldn't see past the figures to properly read his post.

I think we all need to look at the attitudes displayed in this thread and glens and see how much it is constructive advice and how much is cheap digs.

ltm07

Well said LilacPixie, I could understand if Glen came on here saying he wanted to go back to spending £600 a month on entertainment, but he didn't. He asked for advice on how to do things within the £200 budget that he & his wife have per month. To be fair, alot of the people have also given good advice for cheaper nights/weekends etc. As Martin says, it's about cutting costs, not cutting back, or somewhere along those lines & for Glen & his wife to cut down by £400 a month is an achievement in itself. I hope he comes back. I am not just on about this thread but there are a few threads that get my back up personally, in particular threads by newcomers where people tell them that they can no longer have holidays etc. My view is advise by all means, but don't dictate, of course people can have holidays, just look at ways of having cheaper holidays etc..

aliasojo

clearmydebts wrote: »

And my point is that if he read through other people's threads he might see that other people are worse off and he might be a bit more sensitive. Of course everyone has different issues and it is all relative but I am entitled to air my opinion, just as you are.

And imo, what I said is relevant. Usually if someone starts off a thread asking for advice, it it is polite to say thanks when people reply. I suppose manners are relative too though.....

I noticed in a later post to the one above, you commented that your post was picked up on 'for some reason'. I just wanted to make it clear that the only reason I quoted you was that yours was the first one I came to that I felt was a bit unfair. (The bit about being insensitive and posting here.) Nothing more than that and certainly nothing personal. Just a difference of opinion.

Anyway, back to the point....people come here for help or advice. I think we're all agreed on that. What I dont get though is why it's deemed insensitive just because someone else's problems are worse than his, yet he still chose to post.

He has problems of his own, why the heck should he have to read through other people's threads before deciding whether his problems will sit well with others or not? I think maybe Martin should introduce a new rule if that is to be the case.

Something along the lines of....

'This is a MoneySaving Site, please feel free to post asking for help and advice IF your issue falls broadly along the same lines as everyone else's. Please don't post if you have more time or money than everyone else and you also have less ability to deal with boredom than everyone else. If you do, you will hurt someone's feelings and since that is much more important than you getting advice, we cant have that and people will comment or complain about it.'

That's largely tongue in cheek, but you must get my point?

As for the thanks thing, there could be a hundred different reasons why he hasn't thanked people for their replies. Commenting on that is just as rude imo. AND...since the topic of thread is about the feelings one person has in relation to another's financial situation, then no, it is not relevant. The topic was never about thanking and the manners of others.

clearmydebts

aliasojo wrote: »

I noticed in a later post to the one above, you commented that your post was picked up on 'for some reason'. I just wanted to make it clear that the only reason I quoted you was that yours was the first one I came to that I felt was a bit unfair. (The bit about being insensitive and posting here.) Nothing more than that and certainly nothing personal. Just a difference of opinion.

Anyway, back to the point....people come here for help or advice. I think we're all agreed on that. What I dont get though is why it's deemed insensitive just because someone else's problems are worse than his, yet he still chose to post.

He has problems of his own, why the heck should he have to read through other people's threads before deciding whether his problems will sit well with others or not? I think maybe Martin should introduce a new rule if that is to be the case.

Something along the lines of....

'This is a MoneySaving Site, please feel free to post asking for help and advice IF your issue falls broadly along the same lines as everyone else's. Please don't post if you have more time or money than everyone else and you also have less ability to deal with boredom than everyone else. If you do, you will hurt someone's feelings and since that is much more important than you getting advice, we cant have that and people will comment or complain about it.'

That's largely tongue in cheek, but you must get my point?

As for the thanks thing, there could be a hundred different reasons why he hasn't thanked people for their replies. Commenting on that is just as rude imo. AND...since the topic of thread is about the feelings one person has in relation to another's financial situation, then no, it is not relevant. The topic was never about thanking and the manners of others.

Have to say I think you are going OTT about the whole thing and calling me 'rude' is getting nasty to get your point across. I will repeat again that I said I thought he wasn't being very sensitive. That is my opinion. I also think that that it is common courtesy to respond to people if you start a thread. I realise that there are many reasons why he might not have replied but I am entitled to voice my opinion, it is not being rude.

This is a public forum so people will have a difference of opinion, so are you saying that anyone that disagrees with you shouldn't post then, or are we all rude just because we say something different?

I also don't think that Glen should have to read everyone's post, that's just ridiculous. However, I also don't think people should be shot down for daring to have a different opinion.

ltm07

This has turned into a bit of a sniping thread,hasn't it(myself having a dig included). Come on folks, that's not what we're here for! We're all in this together afterall! Just like to add that Glen did reply a couple of times & he hasn't been on this thread since, for reasons that none of us know about. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but some opinions have been very judgemental of Glen & maybe that's why he hasn't come back, or maybe he has taken some suggestions on board & is too busy to come back on here. He obviously wanted advice from people, otherwise he wouldn't have started his thread As I said, we were feeling much the same as Glen & his partner a few months back & we were going to give it all up & consolidate. Thankfully the people who replied to me were alot more sympathetic than some of the posters have been to Glen & we rode the storm & are starting to get somewhere slowly but surely. If you happen to read this Glen, chin up & things will get better.

aliasojo

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Now you're just being ridiculous, clearmydebts.

As you so rightly pointed out....we are all entitled to post our opinions.I posted mine. I commented about one of yours, I did not 'shoot you down'. You seem to be getting a little defensive when there's no need. I have no problem with you and I'm not trying to get at you in any way, it's just that I was pointing out that your points seemed unfair and I was trying to explain why. I did it tongue in cheek and I used a friendly sticky out tongue smilie. If I was only interested in 'shooting you down' as you put it, I wouldn't even have bothered trying to explain why I wrote what I did. I wasn't trying to deliberately offend or rile you but it seems to me now, that you are determined to be irritated no matter what.

Of course it's not rude to post an alternative opinion but the opinion you offered...(i.e the bit about manners) was rude and one sided imo and I said so. This is a forum where people chat, you do have to accept people will from time to time query your words.

Anyway, I'm not keeping this going any longer as it's futile. Come back and say what you want...I don't really care anymore.:D

Apologies OP for being party to taking the thread OT.

clearmydebts

Yes, apologies to the OP for the thread being taken over.

I'm not arguing about it anymore as it is getting silly & I'm not part of MSE to get involved in silly squabbles with people about a difference of opinion.

I am not responding to the previous poster as I want the discussion to return but I don't agree with them saying I am 'unfair' and 'rude'.

Best of luck to Glen and his family and well done to him for recognising his lightbulb moment.