Does Being broke turn you into a grump

Kerfuffle

Being in debt didn't really make me grumpy (I'm grumpy all the time anyway) but it did give me just one topic of conversation, money, and lack of it. I would talk about it with a friend who probably didn't realise that I'd already had the exact same conversation with another friend, but because it was at the forefront of my mind all the time I couldn't stop myself. I hated myself for it.

This was during the recession of the early 1990's, and unfortunately this site didn't exist then, it would have been a big help if it had. However I managed to pay all the debts, not as cleverly as I should have, ie I didn't pay the highest interest rate first (duh), and I learnt to feed my family as frugally as possibly. Basically they could have anything they wanted just so long as it involved eggs, cheese, bread and beans, believe me, with those ingredients the skys the limit. Eating out, haircuts and new clothes were put on hold, and hand me downs and leaky boots that had plastic bags inside them became the norm.

It was hard but it was a great learning experience. We haven't had debt since, and money is tight again now, but I know that because of the previous experience we'll get through this situation.

To everybody who is trying to become debt free you will succeed and when you do the feeling of achievement is second to none, and it will beat any false happiness that is felt through un-necessary purchases.

Sorry if I sound like I'm preaching, I think I've gone a long way round of saying "Stick with it", don't let it get you down.

X

DoWhatULove-LoveWhatUDo

It's not that I'm grumpy, it's just that my matter of factness can be interpreted as "harsh" by those for whom the lightbulb has yet to ping. I'm working on that.

kittyscarlett

Nope, was never grumpy because of debt - scared and stressed out maybe, but not the cause of me being grumpy or jealous. On a daily basis, people's rudeness, stupidity, lack of ability to take responsibility for themselves, unrealistic expectations and complete lack of consideration for their fellow human, being, THOSE things make me grumpy.

Can't really say I have been jealous of people who are all spend spend spend, as has been said probably a lot of it is on CC's and they are piling up bigger debts than mine ever was and not facing up to it. A case of all lace curtains and nothing in the larder as me mum would say. I would be more likely to be jealous of someone who has less stressful employment than me, but on the other I am glad to be employed at all !

andy40

Thanks Kerfuffle for your post.
Im just starting to tackle my debts, but running them up never made me happy, and now I dont have to try anymore so its something of a relief. I think I can look forward things other than shopping and acquiring things. I have already discovered which of my 'friends' are not too bothered with me anymore now that I dont compete for the latest gadgets or clothes.

We should thank those who still spend for keeping the economy going and financing the free stuff!

edinburgher

Icka - I absolutely agree that being broke makes you a grump!

I've been jealous of others' spending, resentful of friends and loved ones wanting to do expensive social outings and have frankly bored the hell out of my gf over the years with constant chatter about debts, savings and pensions.

She's a saint to put up with me!

Please don't let yourself think that your 'debtself' is your true self - if I don't feel happier after my debts are gone I'll eat the kitchen table I'm sitting at now. It will be the same for you, I'm sure. We've all made some daft mistakes, but realising they need fixed is half the battle.

Keep smiling!

Jacks_xxx

I didn't think you were out of line Icka. If people ask for help then they've got to expect that other people will speak as they find.

You're not harsh either DWUL - yours is just the "Stick to the facts Ma-am" logical number crunching type of help rather then the fluffy huggy cheerleader type of help. People need both kinds.

Honestly I don't feel envious or resentful of anybody (Well...unless they've got a Wii Fit of course! )

And I only get grumpy if someone seems to be enjoying moaning about their finances way too much to get off their bum and do anything about them. :rolleyes:

I don't even mind if they beg for help, take up two of my evenings that I could have spent with the family or earning money and then don't do a single one of the things I've suggested. :rolleyes: :rotfl: Maybe they'll come back to it? Maybe they won't? But either way that's up to them. I'm pretty sure people tried to help me before I was ready to hear it too. (Sorry Mum. )

Sometimes I feel glad that I don't think the way that I used to. This happens when somebody explains their thought processes to me and I remember that at one time what they've just said would have made total sense to me!

With all the bereavements and illness on MSE and in my " real life" at the moment I'm just focusing on counting my blessings - and a gorgeous hubby and two healthy kids even out ranks a Wiii Fit in my book! (Thanks for the reminder PasturesNew.:) )

Love Jacks xxx


PS Ummm actually all that sweetness and light is complete and utter bollocks!
I've just remembered something that absolutely makes me spit! When some starlet says her handbag cost £20,000, or when some footballers' or city boys' bar bill is reported to be £100k+, or when the Sex and The City Film was chartering planes and flying a dress thousands of miles because it was "needed" back on the catwalk I just think that..whilst I would never presume to tell someone how to spend their money su-u-u-u-rely there are better things to do with mountains of dosh than these examples???

Ok I feel better now!

clouds21

Hi everyone

I am probably a very strange female in that I thrive on saving money and get a real kick out of getting a bargain. These days it is a real pleasure being able to ask for tap water in a restaurant and not having to battle it out with the waiters! Granted I have never had more serious debt than my mortgage, so I've been incredibly lucky but that is probably because I'm not very materialistic. I wear my clothes till they're nearly threadbare and I have had some great moments when people have said, "Is that Jaeger" and I have replied with warm satisfaction, "No, it's M&S". I find it really strange when people tell me not to say that sort of thing, in my opinion there is no satisfaction in buying something at full price!! (That's just me, I know that others feel very different about retail therapy!) Years ago I got talked into buying a dress which I felt cost a fortune (relatively speaking to what I would normally spend!) and it never made me happy because I felt that it wasn't worth the money I paid.

Sorry about the tangent, icka, but my point is that, yes, debt would make me very grumpy, I would not be able to sleep at night until it was paid off and I would worry a lot about it. Just like not having a job has caused me an awful lot of upset in the - luckily- distant past, so although I am currently not worried about debt I do get a bit edgy about the near future: is my job safe? I do notice that I am even more careful than usual with my spending (yes, that is possible!!) because I don't know what 2009 is going to bring and I'd rather be careful now. Hope this makes sense.

c21
:wave:

gailey_2

I think its same for everyone. I hate going shopping these days as see people laden with carry bags and I cant even afford a few bits in primark or buy some presentys in supersales that have been going on as im too sensible paying off debts and ebaying to raise funds seem to spend most of my life at postoffice and scrimping some change for few food essentials in corner shop!
We cant afford tree until mid month payday as thats when hubby gets paid.
Im using my child benefit to try and pay off overdraft.
Selling anything of value and as much as I like xmas it makes me feel sad as never got enough money to buy people the presnets that I would like to buy them
Every year I say I will save up food stamps but once again havent and really could have odne with them but definatly try next year luckily I brought my daughter cheap toys from ebay/carboots and started buying in july as knew money would be tight.
Plan to make a few gifts/cards and decorations.
My cheapo cd player broke cant affoird one and i need neww boots/coat but am going without although my daughters best dressed todddler through cheap ebay bargains.
I think this year with credit crunch lots of people in same position its just in the 2 expensive shopping centres in the city with pricey shops I get bit down.

Debt free is 6months is fab news now im jealous!
The girl in work could have put boots on credit card?