what do your husbands/oh's give for housekeeping

katiecoodle

I used to be the breadwinner with my oh as a sahd, but the roles have reversed & I'm a full time sahm now. I must say his self-esteem is a lot higher now he is the earner & he is a healthier person for it IMO.
He pays me £400 a month housekeeping into a seperate account - this feeds our family of 4, clothes us, petrol & any kids music or ballet lessons. If I need an increase I have no problem asking for more. If we go out (rarely) then he pays & I get to feel like I'm being treated. Gifts tho always come from my housekeeping.

In reality, he earns it all but I manage a certain proportion of it. It works fine. He's a fabulous provider & has taken a 2nd job so that I can stay at home & enjoy these precious years when the kids are young. How lucky am I? He's one in a million.

littlemissmoney

You mention all the things you pay, but what does he pay? If he is paying mortgage/rent, council tax, gas, elec, phone bill, internet, insurance, tv licence, etc then even if he is earning more than you he may have less money left than you!

shimmershelly

My husband and myself have seperate accounts because we prefer it that way, he is also a lot better with money than me so it works.
I get housekeeping at £140 per week plus my part time wages and pay out for food, mine and the childrens clothes and my daughters dancing lessons, he pays for everything else.

LilMissEmmylou

tbh i dont get why you are upset he isnt giving you money? I am of course assuming he pays for rent/mortgage, insurance, gas, electric, phone(s), Sky tv (if u have it) etc etc? The only think I would be requesting is money towards DDs activities as I assume she is his daughter too and so why should you pay all that? tbh having left over money after the shopping and paying you fuel/car expenses etc is doing well and yes ok at this time of yr it will go on gifts etc, and again I would suggest he perhaps go halfers on things for DD, his family etc But not just to give over extra money for housekeeping. (just my opinion sorry)

Loretta

I am sure that this is not just about money, he sounds very controlling and mean. It is difficult to say if this Ok or not without figures, if he cannot afford more you just have to manage but it sounds as if he can well afford to pay more and isn't and you have the worry of trying to manage to pay all this on so little money.

Perhaps you could give us some figures and you may get some better help.

You may also want to look on the CSA website or whatever it is called now and put the figures in and see how much he would have to pay if you walked out, just may clarify things for you

It sounds to me that it is not really a money issue but the appalling attitude he has to you

elainew

my Dh works and i'm a SAHM. Money goes into bank, bills get paid by direct debit, do an online shop and pay with money our of account. I withdraw money if need be.

Easy peasy. No grovelling for money

Jasper27_2

Hannahsmommy

I think this boils down to your OH still has money to do as he pleases with but you are struggling to pay for the things that are your "responsiblity". The only way to try and resolve it is to talk to him and try and sort out a fairer system. If there is a big difference in your incomes then maybe you should arrange it so that you both contribute the same proportion of your income to the household budget., a set percentage. I know a lot of people do this especially where one works less hours but contributes to the family in other ways such as doing more housework or childcare. I think often the partner who earns more doesn't value this non-financial contribution which is what a lot of posters seem to be saying.

Reading these posts really suprised me at how much of an issue money is in so many relationships. No wonder it's one of the main reasons people divorce!I now feel very lucky that my OH and I have similar earnings and the same attitude to money so it's never been an issue for us. I might have to reduce my hours due to illness but OH has never suggested I might be a drain on his resources. All our finanaces are joint and it works for us. That said I don't think there's a right or a wrong way as everyone's circumstances are different but you need a system that works for you and where neither party feels hard done by.

Arthur Dent, you are being ripped off! Do you feel better now? It's very little money for all the items it has to cover, OH sounds mean rather than thrifty!

jayne26

i get all hubbys money in full,£30.000 for 22 years plus all bank interest and my wages .i sort out the money , bills , savings and give hubby a tenner.....pocket money.... girl power.....

Becles

We keep everything seperate as I was a single parent and my husband moved into my home.

He works full time and gives me about 1/3 of his income and uses the rest to run his car and mobile, his clothes and personal use.

I work part time and get the tax credits/child benefit. I pay for the mortgage, utility bills, insurances, food, clothes for me and the children, run my car and mobile, and anything that needs doing/replacing in the house. It's a challenge managing to pay for everything, but I'm working more hours now which has covered the rises in utilities etc. The only downside is I'm always knackered now and struggle to keep onto top of the housework :rolleyes:

poet123

28 years married,joint account,all spending, wages come from that. I manage all the money, DH has never questioned once what I spend any money on,nor I him. We have a family unit that is jointly funded by us both,the proportions are irrelevant. I thought that was the norm,obviously not.