what do your husbands/oh's give for housekeeping

ticklepenny_2

Our current outgoings monthly total £970 this includes:
Rent £495
Council Tax £90
Gas £40
Electric £40
Water £20
Petrol £50
Car tax £10
Pet Insurance £9
Pet Food £10
Our Food (£170 for the month)
Love Film £15 (we dont go out)
Sky £21 (we dont go out)

My OH knows this and gives me £485 every month when he gets paid as he has no form of ID so cant get any other account than his Post Office so this is the easiest way to sort everything out. I have been on a DMP and so am now better with money than he is. :rolleyes:

got-it-spend-it

OP if your OH pays the mortgage/ rent and the other utility type bills then maybe he thinks its fair that you pay for food etc. Have you said to him that you are struggling to pay the things that you are responsible for? If I were you I would tell him outright that you need him to contribute, particularly as the price of food and fuel is going up.

pboae

vixarooni wrote: »

What? I thought every couple shared their money out?

My boyfriend and i have done it from the early days when we were 19, i spent his money, he spent mine. I spend more of his money than he does mine but then he earns alot more cos i've always been a student.

There's almost as many different ways of organising finances as there are couples.

Everything into one pot and split equally probably works fine if you both have very similar outlooks on money, and especially if you have similar amounts coming in. But in my case, I prefer to have money in the bank, and will gladly do without things in order to save a few extra pennies. OH is the opposite, and will spend everything in his pocket, just because it's there. With combined finances it ends up with me saving and him spending it, which is just trouble all round.

I don't think it matters how you do it, as long as it works for you both, but in the OPs case it doesn't seem to be working.


OP, just a thought after looking back at this thread. You say you have had financial problems in the past, is there an element in this that you are being punished for that with heavy handed financial control? If so, I'd suggest you post on the debt free wannabee board as well. It's surprisingly common for partners to do this, and there are lots of people there who have been through that and can offer you support with it.

whitewing

onlyroz wrote: »

Thought the days were gone when wives had to ask their husbands for money. Brings back visions of wifey standing at the garden gate with her hand out when hubby got back from work with his wages in an envelope...

My hubby gets paid cash for one of his jobs on a weekly basis. And he does ceremoniously hand it over to me, and I give him a kiss as a reward, lol...and then we pay it into our joint account. I love him dearly that he hands it over so willingly (with scarcely a tear).

floss2

We have separate accounts, and my OH earns considerably more than me, in fact my take-home equates to 27% of our household income, therefore we agreed that I pay 27% of the bills & housekeeping. All the bills are on DD as it was OH's house for 16yrs before I moved in, and I pay for the housekeeping.

What's left is our own - OH has a loan that he pays, he paid for our double glazing, saves for "emergencies" and pays for holidays, when I would save my own spends, I also pay uni support for my son. We both pay our own pension, car insurance, mobile bill, life insurance.

FairyElephant_2

We have separate accounts into which we are paid, then a SO goes from each into our 'household account' from where the bills are paid.

Household bills are split 50/50, but DH pays more into the 'bills' account than me, as he has CSA payments to make and his pension also comes out of this account - both of which 'expenses' he pays for totally.

At the end of the day, even tho' he earns more than me, we end up with about the same amount each left in our personal accounts as his outgoings are more than mine.

He would be more than happy for me to sort out all the financial stuff and not involve him, but I think it's important for him to know what is what and where, so I make sure I we over it together regularly (although his eyes tend to glaze over after a short while!!!!).

Maybe it's due to my past history and having to stand on my own feet, but I would never let someone else control my money and/or dictate how my money was organised/spent. Since we have been together I see it as a joint responsibility, and since his ex took him to the cleaners as she had control of their finances, I want everything to be totally clear between us.

Everyone is different tho', so I guess it is whatever works for you - but I sense OP that you are not happy with the arrangements, so maybe you need some 'adult time' together to sit and talk it out?

Good luck,

FE

beckseven

I don't think that you should be penalised for being a sAHM-I'm not being harsh towards him as I don't know him or the situation but it's not fair for you to be in this situation. If you look at one of my previous posts i was in a similar situation about a year ago although i was working but in a lesser paid job than oh.. He made me feel like a second class citizen and a failure because he went on about my friends who earnt more than me etc and i scrimped and saved with v little money. We have sorted things out because i spoke to him about the way he was making me feel and things have changed for the better-he now pays for ds swimming lessons and meals out etc. Still not perfect but better for talking about it.

Hardup_Hester

The OP's hubby sounds like my ex I worked in the family business without pay, & when I took an early morning cleaning job, he started to charge me housekeeping. Try to get him to lighten up on the 3rd degree though or you will end up hating him

Miserjunkie

Hi Hannahsmummy1

Similiar arrangement as you in our house. DH gives me housekeeping but he does pay the household bills, car tax and car insurance. I'm a SAHM and carer to our DS who is autistic, so any extra money I get goes on clothes, shoes, DD's phone, DD's allowance per month and DS's pocket money.

TBH DH has eased up, he was until recently incredibly control and would go into a hissy fit if I couldn't explain my spending clearly (and I used to be really bad - spending and debt that is!!). When I cleared my debt i thought he would ease up then, in fact it got worse. So I sat him down and went throught a complete month's worth of receipts, shopping lists, children's activities and costs, just about everything. I even took him shopping showing him everything we buy and the alternatives, even tried some of the alternatives (eh yuk don't buy it again response). He got my point but it took some convincing. At least he only hissy fits once a week :-)

miserjunkie

arthur_dent_2

My husband pays for everything that is considered essential to live. I get £20 a week to cover Skating, Brownies, Clothes for me and the children, food that is above shopping eg crisps and chocolate, birthday presents, Christmas presents, bus fares, basically anything that I want and the children want but don't strictly need. If someone can reply and tell me I am being ripped off then that would make my day.