Serious problems with child behaviour

Pssst

fairmorn308 wrote: »

this behaviour has been around well before i came into his life and he pulled a knife on his mum last yr saying he was going to kill her.

The other day he got out the car at home and picked up a brick and turned round and said to his mum what would happen if i thru this off ur head, in a angry voice.

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You mean like this...?
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=g874H2GBPlA


Have you tried warming his legs?

lynzpower

It seems to me that the lack of consistentcy might be an issue.

if you didnt take the sticker chart on holiday, then maybe he felt that he didnt need to display good behaviour then, and have "some time off"

fairmorn308

well this morning was the worst i have ever seen him. and he said some rather nasty things to him mum. like he hopes his mum dies after baby is born.

I honestly dont no what to do

Baybee1984

You've probably looked into all aspects, but have you and your partner sat him down and had a big chat about why hes behaving this way? I mean, could something be happening at school ie being bullied?!

fairmorn308

thats the thing every time we sit him down for the big boy chat etc its something different. for example. we were going to tell him about the baby until my other half had her 12 week scan but he kept trying to punch her in the stomach one day but turned round and told him to get him to stop. We have asked him why he is being like he is and he said its due to mummy having a baby but thats just lies as its started well before he even knew about it etc. thats the thing now we arent sure when he is telling the truth, but we always give him the benifit of the doubt tho.

frasersmum123

Have you tried talking to the school? They might be abe to get him a referal and it might be quicker than your GP, especially if he is like it at school.

It sounds like he is pushing boundaries and trying to get power - how do you and your partner react when he acts like this and says such horrid things? Does he get a reaction or do you ignore? It sound like he has something personal against his mum(hense why his anger is directed at her), and the new baby is only making it worse.

I do think you should sit down with him and ask him why he is so cross, ask him why he thinks its okay to behave like that - try and get him when he is in a good mood or doing something he enjoys as he is more likely to open up.

Good Luck xx

ameliarate

but we always give him the benifit of the doubt tho.

Maybe it's time to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt and getting tough.

Constistency has to be the key word here.

We have tryed various things like naughty step / reward chart etc etc but nothing works. He doesnt care about anything. even if you take toys or TV out his room it doesnt bother him at all.

The fact that you have tried so many things suggest that perhaps the consistency is a bit lacking. Something will bother him, whether it is the TV out of the room or games being taken away, something will it's finding out what. It he is continuing to misbehave then there should be no TV or games in his room by now, they should be long gone.

It would be interesting to know what kind of relationship he has with his natural father wat is he like with discipline, what kind of split your partner had with her ex and whether that has affected things.

easy

I'm going to mention diet here again.

Get this child off artificial sweeteners, PLEASE.

My son had serious nasty behaviour issues a couple of years ago. After months of heart-ache, struggling with rewards and stress, one of the things we tried was getting rid of aspartame, the sweetener used in all those drinks & thinks which say "no added sugar" on the label.

Okay, so sugar damages teeth and can make a kid fat, but get him to brush his teeth and run round plenty, it'll be fine.

But I don't think we know what aspartame does to developing young brains, The American authoirities don't trust it like we do in the UK, thats for sure. So out with the fruit shoots, no added sugar squash, so called 'healthy treats' etc.

It won't turn him into an angel overnight, but I think you'll see him managing his behaviour a little better in a few weeks.

Keep up with consistent treatment at home too. And get that TV out of his bedroom. It's not healthy for a child at all (and may be that he's been watching the wrong kind of programmes, cos no one else can see what/when he's watching).

mrcow

I'm sorry but Id have absolute zero tolerance with this. He is old enough to know better. I keep saying this on these boards, but it's all about control. He is controlling you and his mother and you need to switch this round.

You make up the rules. You have control over what he eats, whether he can see the tv, what toys are allowed, whether he's allowed to play with friends on not. You need to start flexing your parenting muscles and not let him get away with anything.You need to start at the basics. Set the rules out clearly for him and tell him what his punishments will be if he doesn't comply. And stick to it.

It is hard work. You can't let it skip a moment, but that's what it's all about. Letting him know that you expect good behaviour and that you'll settle for nothing less.

Whether you think his diet is affecting him or not, it certinaly can't help if he's eating rubbish. Cut out all junk and additives. Stop all sweets and chocolate. Don't let him have any puddings or desserts unless he has behaved particularly well ......icecream can be a big trigger for some kids so avoid this too.

As for the school, well how do they want to deal with it? Whatever they are doing, then you need to give them your support and back up. I'm telling you, he is not going to have a single friend by the time he's 11 if he carries on this way. Who would want to be friends with someone like this?

Forget confiscating his toys, if he was as naughty as you're saying, they'd be straight in the bin! If he's being rude to relatives, then he wouldn't be allowed out either. If he's being violent, then he's grounded completely and can stay in his room. He doesn't get attention for bad behaviour and no one shouts back or engages in argument with him either. He's a child, he does not argue or threaten adults!

If he ever pulls a knife on you again.Call the police. He could probably do with having a word with them anyway! He needs to learn his lessons quickly and vividly.

easy

Oh, one other thing about boys and behaviour.

Little boys need lots and LOTS of physical exercise, it helps them manage the testosterone coursing thru the system, that turns them into nasty little thugs so easily.

This kid needs to be out running round the park every day (yes even in the rain, he won't melt) or swimming, get him to football classes at the weekend (our city football team run kids coaching sessions for everyone on saturday mornings at several schools around the area, see if yours does), and maybe karate or tae kwondo (which will also teach him some self discipline).

If he comes home from school and spends his time in front of TV/playstation/computer whatever, that won't help.