Serious problems with child behaviour

fairmorn308

good afternoon

Am not normally in this section but i am looking for some help

I am with my partner who is 16 weeks pregnant and she has a 7yr old son who is a complete nightmare.

He doesnt listen to any adults when they tell him to stop something or not to do it. When you ask him to get dressed or tidy his toys away u get alot of cheek and back chat. this happens day in day out and myself and my partner as totaly sick of it.

We have tryed various things like naughty step / reward chart etc etc but nothing works. He doesnt care about anything. even if you take toys or TV out his room it doesnt bother him at all.

This behaviour has been continuing into school and has been for a long time. I have only been with my partner 6 months and he thinks what he says goes. She has already got the doctor to get a referral to see someone but we are still talking months down the line. My OH is worried with all the stress etc its causing she will loose the baby. I work away offshore and not always at home and its exactly the same. If he doesnt get it own way he kicks off. Nothing is working.

He is the same with his grand parents and teachers at school.

I dont mind a 7yr old being naughty etc there expected to at that age but its the cheek and backchat u get with it all. he doesnt even know when to keep his mouth shut he will just go on and on and on.

we honestly dont no what to do. I hate to say this but am very close to walking cause i cant put up with it really.

sorry for being so long but am needing some help on this matter.

lynnexxxo

Lets look at it from the childs point of view, in the last six months he has went from it being him and his mum, to this new man in his life, who thinks he has the right to tell him what to do, and then finds out his mum is going to have another baby.

Maybe you should try building a relationship with him rather than seeing him as a pain in the a** ?

Edited : After reading your further posts I think my tone might seem a little harsh. Sorry !

Reggie_Rebel

Take the TV out of his room and leave it out for starters.

Lay down rules and make sure they are stuck to. If he breaks them then take away something that will bother him.

fairmorn308

this behaviour has been around well before i came into his life and he pulled a knife on his mum last yr saying he was going to kill her.

The other day he got out the car at home and picked up a brick and turned round and said to his mum what would happen if i thru this off ur head, in a angry voice.

everytime we sit down after he has down something naughty he says sorry and says wont do it again etc etc but its the same day in day out. he knows exactly what he is doing thats the thing.

pukkamum

I think you need to seriously get some help for him if he is showing such violent behaviour there is def something going on his head.
Has he witnessed violent behaviour between his mum and any other partners?
I think approaching the shool would be a good start if he's doing this at home he will be doing it there they may well refer him to a child psychologist.
Don't give up on him he's clearly a very unhappy little boy.
With the right intervention you can get this sorted.

Baybee1984

I do agree you need help if hes beginning to get violent, and I agree with the previous poster, make an appointment with the school and put together a plan of action together.

Remember to keep praising and treating him for any good behaviour he shows too..

I know hes a bit older than my DS (4) but he's been playing up a bit lately too and we've spoke about having a sticker chart. Im going to print some of the free reward charts Ive found online and we're going into town together one day next week when he's off school to choose some reward stickers together and hes really excited at the thought of being able to choose a special treat if he fills his chart. I know your partners child is a bit older but if theres something you can do like this, but work on together, with him..

pange

i dont actually have any advice to give, but wanted to say i feel for you, sounds simply devastating x

fairmorn308

he has been refered but there saying its going to take about 4 months before he is being seen. the school are aware of it and he is sometimes being violent at school as they had to stop the PE class cause he was dangering the safety of the others. Same with kicking someone aswell in the same week.

The thing is when he is good he is really good and i love doing things with him but how can you reward a child with all bad behaviour.

robnye

take a look at his diet..... is he worse after eating something specific.... ie tomato ketchup.....

additives in food have been found to affect childrens behaviour due to allergy effects

try a food diary, see if there is a pattern

fairmorn308

Baybee1984 wrote: »

I do agree you need help if hes beginning to get violent, and I agree with the previous poster, make an appointment with the school and put together a plan of action together.

Remember to keep praising and treating him for any good behaviour he shows too..

I know hes a bit older than my DS (4) but he's been playing up a bit lately too and we've spoke about having a sticker chart. Im going to print some of the free reward charts Ive found online and we're going into town together one day next week when he's off school to choose some reward stickers together and hes really excited at the thought of being able to choose a special treat if he fills his chart. I know your partners child is a bit older but if theres something you can do like this, but work on together, with him..

Thing is we had about 3 good weeks before i went back to work after the summer holidays and he was getting good school reports and behaviour at home was normal for a 7 yr old. we got him a new chart etc but the minute i went back to work everything changed.

We changed his reward chart a week before we came on holiday and the 4 days before it were really good even at school. We started the day off with 5 stickers so he has something to work on and if he is bad he looses one. out of the 4 days he only lost one sticker which was on the thursday night, we honestly thought it was all good. His mummy was alot happier and i was doing more things with him. But we came on holiday last friday and BANG back to the old ways. we decided to leave the chart at home at thought he would want to do all the good things etc but boy i was so wrong. it has been a complete disaster of a holiday. I have never seen him this bad before really loosing it even with my parents as we are staying at there place. screaming even in my face. its like he is wanting to fight with everyone but HE wont lash out tho at home with me there.

fairmorn308

robnye wrote: »

take a look at his diet..... is he worse after eating something specific.... ie tomato ketchup.....

additives in food have been found to affect childrens behaviour due to allergy effects

try a food diary, see if there is a pattern

his mum tryed this before i came along and she said it made no difference.

I am honestly willing to give it another go tho cause you never know.