If I havent got children should Xmas be cancelled?

pickle

As someone who does have a child I can honestly say that it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if my daughter didn't get a xmas present from friends or family. In fact maybe it's a good thing if they don't always get. I see it as the parent's responsibility to provide the presents and anything else is a bonus. I'd take some chocolate santas or something like that and simply say that you can't afford to be buying expensive gifts.

pickle

Or alternatively buy something really noisy and irritating so that they'll be glad next time if you don't buy a gift.

MKwife

I am the opposite of the OP!!!

We don't have any children (yet) and I have suggested a few times over the years that we just buy for the children and not the adults as one SIL have 3 children, and all the others plus friends have at least one child each. We spend a fortune every year on each child and parent!!!

I wouldn't be bothered not receiving any presents just the company of all the nephews and niece and watching them enjoy their presents on christmas day is enough for me. Plus it will save everyone a fortune!!!

clairehi

I feel sorry for the OP for feeling left out of things and it must be hard feeling like you are getting ignored because of the children when you are hoping for your own. however if she is ttc I would say if you think you are getting ignored now it will only get worse when you have your own kids and they demand all your and everyone else's attention!

everyone else has commented on the presents and I will not repeat that, but regarding who goes to visit whom:

To put the other side of the story about the OP's rellies not visiting her. it can be physically exhausting and practically awkward going on long distance weekends away from home with my kids - even to stay at the grandparents. They get very bored/car sick on long journeys, have their own routines, eating/sleeping habits and stuff which need to be accommodated, break expensive things in other peoples houses etc! As a working mum I need my weekends to catch up on all the stuff that does not get done in the week due to lack of time plus the kids have sports and social commitments.
having said that, it is not impossible, but perhaps you need to get them to commit firmly to a date well in advance, possibly bank holiday/school holiday when there is more time.

there is also one very practical reason why it is hard to have Christmas away from home with small kids, and that is getting their presents there without them sussing out. last year DS got a bike, how the hell could we have got that to the inlaws 200 miles away without him catching on?

full-time-mum

SandC wrote: »

My brother seems to think that I should buy presents for his nephews and nieces on his wife's side. I do not agree, what do others think?

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about who you should and shouldn't buy gifts for - it really depends on the situation. You shouldn't be expected to get anyone anything.

If you are going to a family christmas and the nephews and nieces are going to be there then it may be nice to make a small gesture. If you see them lots and they are part of your close circle, then again, maybe but if you only see them on selected family occaissions and you aren't going to see them on Christmas day then I don't see why.

PS: We budget on £10-£15 for close family (parents/siblings/neices/nephews etc) and £5-£10 for others. If we can get a bargain for less then great, we don't top it up.

We may be going to my sister for Christmas. Her partner's parents will also be there and we will probably get them a box of chocolates or a plant but I know it won't be expected of us, its just a nice thing to do.

SandC

I don't see much of my bro's nephews and nieces on his wife's side (if I can possibly help it - noisy lot!).

I don't budget so much because being on my own they invite me over Xmas day so I eat all their food and get waited on hand and foot so a nice present is the least they can expect (oh and washing the dishes). I actually spoil my nephew cos he's my only one - £50-£60 in that area I guess. I know, I know..... £30 each on bro and sis in law this year, only cos I've got them tickets for something i knew they would like.

oystercatcher

Why on earth is the OP moaning about being invited out?

It's far more work and expense to have a whole family descend on your house and have to provide endless food and amusement for them all and possibly have your home wrecked by small children. I would far rather go out than have everybody to my place I get furious at family who just descend on us at a moments notice and expect a feast to be provided ! Do you have any idea how much all that 'special Christmas food' costs? You'll be saving a fortune by eating someone elses.

It seems you would be saving money by not buying for the adults as well as the children , that's still quite a few presents lee.
It's very easy to shop around and buy presents for children without spending a vast amount of money. Explain to the adults that money is short if they think you are being a bit tight.

The alternative is to go away and have a private Christmas OR say you are going away and draw the curtains and have a private Christmas at home, that's the cheapest way!

Just think when you have your own children (be positive it will happen) then the rest of the family will be running around after you. Then you'll know what it's like !!

Oystercatcher

Amanda65

Can I just speak up for the 'awful' children and parents please?

I know that there are some (very) odd people out there - both parents and non-parents - but I am sure that the majority of us with children work very hard to try and provide them with a happy Christmas. For most this doesn't mean extortionate spending but getting gifts that you know are wanted and appreciated.

Speaking on behalf of myself, friends and family, the children are not 'spoilt brats' grabbing whatever they can from others, they are all grateful for what they get and love to give as well (mine buy 8 presents for various family members up to a maximum of £5 per present out of their pocket money).

I really am quite upset at the thought that people without children think parents go out of their way to use others to supplement their children's 'xmas stash' and would always rather a gift was not given at all than given with bad grace