If I havent got children should Xmas be cancelled?

Horace

I think that Christmas is for everyone - not just children (why should they have all the fun anyway ). I don't have children at all, guess I am lucky that I am an only child. I do remember when I was a child that my parents' friends would give a family present in the form of a tin of quality street or some biscuits and I think my mum did the same (my dad was never one for buying anyone anything that job was left to mum).

There is a cheapish way of getting around the present idea - go into Boots and buy each one a voucher for a pound (you get the card free). If you have an Advantage card so much the better as you can hand it over when you buy the vouchers and maybe get points.

Another way around it is to buy a family present in the form of a tin of quality street or some other sweets or biscuits rather than individual presents for children.

freeasabird

I'm single without children with four siblings who have children and one that doesn't. I usually get a present from my two sisters, occassionally from two brothers and never get a present from one brother who has two children. I buy presents for all the children (seven of them) and smaller presents for my two sisters, two brothers and my mother. I also try to buy birthday presents for my siblings as well as all the children.

The siblings who make the most noise about making sure their children get presents are the ones who don't buy presents for any adults or for anyone else's children. In fact they arrange family get togethers to pressure people into buying presents or usually giving money for their children. It's partly about status: my children have to be acknowledged by all the family and also about making sure their children get as much money as possible.

The assumption is that I don't have anything else to do with my money even though I'm paying a mortgage and have other financial responsibilities. This year, I'm putting on a £10 or less limit on the children and liasing with their parents to buy gifts that will accompany the presents that they get from their parents. For example, if one of them gets an mp3 player, I'll buy a CD or arrange for some music to be downloaded for it. I'm not buying any presents for the adults apart from my mum and those who appreciate me as an aunt and a sister will be happy with that. I think it's unfair that those who are likely to receive more presents because they have children, are the ones making demands on those who don't have children.

Mrs_Weasley

Bertiebots and i have a BIL who for years has not bought prezzies for the adults, thats fine by me.......but this year we have been informed they are not buying for the children and thats xmas and birthday:eek: and they don't expect us to buy for there daughter either:eek: bless shes only 3, 4 on xmas day:rolleyes: Personally i think its awful and kids don't/won't understand! Oh and they are quite well off good jobs and all that

For the op...before i had the kids i bought prezzies for all my friends children..but as you say i always was the one to visit them never the other way round, looking back bit of a mug really:o

galvanizersbaby

trixietoes wrote: »

The fact is that because you haven't got kids your considerations don't come into it. Parents automatically assume that their single friends have no responsibilities and are free at the drop of a had to accomodate working around their family. Most of the time we don't mind, sometimes it would be nice to be considered though... and asked when something was convenient for us once maybe.

I think the OP was very brave posting as it opens the floodgates to lots of people then branding them selfish and spoilt, and how can you begrudge a child this, that or the other.

I find it strange to assume that people who don't have children are free at the drop of a hat - my childless friends are far from it - they are usually very busy and we have to pre-book to see each other
If something was proposed that was inconvienient for me I would say so and I would expect any of my friends and family to do the same.
Then again perhaps I'm just lucky with my friends and family

freeasabird

Mrs_Weasley wrote: »

Bertiebots and i have a BIL who for years has not bought prezzies for the adults, thats fine by me.......but this year we have been informed they are not buying for the children and thats xmas and birthday:eek: and they don't expect us to buy for there daughter either:eek: bless shes only 3, 4 on xmas day:rolleyes: Personally i think its awful and kids don't/won't understand! Oh and they are quite well off good jobs and all that

For the op...before i had the kids i bought prezzies for all my friends children..but as you say i always was the one to visit them never the other way round, looking back bit of a mug really:o

Why is it awful, it doesn't sound like your children or their children will go without presents, they just won't have as many. Are you sure the kids won't understand or is it about you feeling slighted by a relative? One of them is only three. How aware is that child that they only got three instead of four or five presents? I didn't always get a Christmas present from my parents because it was more important to pay the rent. Spend time with your children at Christmas. Cherish them and forget about your brother in law.

reetyre

Hi Trixietoes,
A girl after my own heart! Thanks for your post - and in fact thanks to everyone who has replied. I did wonder if I might have regretted posting after the first few replies that came my way but it seems I didnt clarify myself properly - and after I tried so hard to do so!

Anyway, I replied to BIL saying that while we agree to his proposition, I think Christmas is for families not just kids and just because we havent had kids yet it doesnt mean we aren't having our own Christmas.
His response was that he is an atheist and wouldnt celebrate at all if he could get away with it - its his kids that wont allow that... So a big bah humbug from him basically.

The fact remains though that I love Christmas, I love everything about it! I think its just that such significant times of the year highlight things in our own lives. For us it was that we are yet to reproduce which in turn reminded us of how we are always chasing round after friends & family with kids and so we felt upset and aggrieved. For others it could be financial, seeing people going to lavish do's while you stay in (this is also us but I dont mind that!) or hearing your child tell about how everyone else at school got an ipod/dalek/furby/whatever (showing my age there) while you cant provide it.

So, we will go all the way to theirs for Christmas, we will get presents for the kids and we will come all the way back again (in response to some posters, we have invited them to us, they have never made the effort). The point is that we will all have a nice Christmassy time, young or old, kids or none and grumpy BIL can sit in the corner being a scrooge.

Ooh that was a bit deep - have a comedy santa to lighten it up a bit :santa2:

Alikay

I must say I'm surprised at what an emotive subject the buying of gifts for children is! Ours have never had more than about 4 presents (3 of them worth a tenner or less) to open at Christmas, mainly because we have such a small family. My side are Jehovah's Witnesses, so simply don't DO Xmas & B'Days and DH just has parents and a sister who aren't into spending a lot either. We've never exchanged presents with friends as they all have vast families to buy for without getting gifts for friends children.

Our kids have always loved christmas .....we do all the usual christmassy stuff: decorate the house, watch christmassy films, long walks, have nice food, visit people, have guests etc. I fail to see how one or two less toys can possibly make a child feel deprived! The presents are only a small part of Christmas, and I'm very pleased we don't end up with obscene piles of sweets, tat and potential land-fill.

If people cut back on the amount of time spent trawling round the shops buying presents and instead got together for a drink, meal or natter I'm sure they'd enjoy the celebrations more.

vixarooni

ditto the above poster! I have a tiny family also and i dont get a vast span of presents, thats why i ask for presents i can open rather than vouchers or money!

I really agree with alikay's comment on the least amount of time spent shopping and more time with the family, as someone who has to work solidly in debenhams over the festive season i really would like this to happen!

But i would feel the same if i had to dish out loads of pressies and not really be thought of back, i think if you wanna cancel christmas its cancelled for everyone. My boyfriend doesnt even get a card for his birthday from one of his aunties now as hes over 21!

biscotte

margaretclare wrote: »

I really hate this term 'pressie'.

SO sorry...

1sue23

This is why I do not like Christmas any more used to love it ,but the stress is all to much to many expectation, as a child what gifts that were given were simple doll of my mum and dad ,a hand made blanket for the doll of my grandma which I can still remember,and coloring books and crayons off my aunties ,nobody ever dictated or said you have to buy this because money was short no credit cards available it was much more fun ,So this year I am not having a Christmas in the traditional way grandchildren will have a token gesture and I will then make a donation to charity ,dinner is egg and chips and then nice long walk,mind you the look on my childrens faces they are 29,27,and 21 when I told them of my plans they seem to think that no matter how old they are they should tell me what they want from ipods to expensive x boxes well not this year I think it is time they grew up.