If I havent got children should Xmas be cancelled?

ben500

I personally grew up in and environment where you NEVER asked for a gift, some relatives may have asked me what I was hoping for for Christmas but it was a definite no no to ever request a gift, what's more, when you received one you were duty bound to show eternal gratitude even if it was a hand knitted jumper with three arms and long enough to be a trench coat.

Lunar_Eclipse

reetyre wrote: »

"Christmas is for children after all".

I can see both sides of this and think you are only being honest about your feelings which are completely understandable.

I do think Xmas is for children, but suspect I did not feel quite the same until we had some. Things just change then as you see the world completely differently (did I ever really want a pile of presents?) and/or have the massive financial drain of the additional family members. A fresh coffee is all I 'want' on Xmas morning now!

My sister doesn't have children and whilst I would love to stop exchanging adult gifts with her & partner; she will be so upset that it's not worth the money saved to me to break her continued childish love of Christmas. She is 32, but the youngest!

I totally love Christmas, but as the children get older it sort of becomes a bit less special for me as it becomes more special for them. Weird. But I think my parents experienced the same! I just don't see how loads of 'stuff' can be that exciting anymore. I really hate 'stuff'!

woozywendy

It is my daughters birthday in november and she has over 30 children coming to her party. Not a house party I might add in the local hall. Because she gets so many presents and I have to find somewhere to put all the 'stuff' I will only be buying a few presents and an I.O.U from Santa saying she can go to the shops so she can choose one present she really wants.
When it was just me and my DH he used to get me to write a list of presents that I would like and tell me I would only get some of them so put down what I really wanted at the top. He never bought me anything of the list, so it was always a surprise. The one year I just made the list up randomly he went and bought me quite a few things off it.

Smashing

£10 per child for an xmas gift for a child not your own?
Sod that. They can have a selection box and be bloody grateful for it. The idea that they should come to expect presents from all the adults in the family is ridiculous.

*Louise*

My family also have the rule 'just buy for the children'

However - I couldn't sit by and accept presents for my children and not have some gift from the kids for the auntie/uncle who has gone to the trouble of giving my children a gift. So I guess the technical version of the rule is 'buy for the adult...until they have children':D

My sister has a partner but no kids and buys for 6 neices/nephews - I always get her something for christmas. My other sister has 2 kids and I just buy for them. My brother can't afford to buy for 5 nieces/nephews and I wouldn't expect him to put himself in more debt just for christmas, so I have told him not to waste his money. I still have a gift for him because I don't want him missing out. (Don't give to receive and all that)

OP - there's not really much you can do if the rest of the family have decided not to give you any gifts.....I just hope they feel a little guilty on Christmas morning when they are all surrounded by wrapping paper and you have nothing. I would feel mean if that happened in my family.

glitterycloud

hi, i dont have children either and i agree that i get left out, people don't visit me, i am not top of any priority list. This has taken a bit of time to get used to but now I don't mind at all.
I enjoy buying presents for my 6 neices and nephews and sometimes try hard to be favourite aunty lol lol
I have taken my disent down the priority ladder pretty ok tho there are times when it does annoy me when my dad will travel 2 hrs in the car to visit my sister and her brood but not 2 mins to see me. Hey ho thats life and i know it will my turn when i eventually begin popping out sprogs!!! lol lol

suekjw

I have children and would be grateful for anything anyone got them. I would be tempted to get them a selection box each and leave it at that - they are BOGOF at some places at the moment!

My In Laws aren't doing pressies this year, and I know my two young children won't get anything. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

ceridwen

Difficult situation - I guess you have to just "bite the bullet" and accommodate people with children - as you hope to have some of your own at some point - so it will then go both ways.

At least one advantage of not having children is that the position is easy - do nothing - as if you did it would only ever be one way "you give, they take". Having said that - I used to give presents to my brothers children and I did for a friends children - but I had to stop at the point at which brother and his wife were discussing whether to have a 3rd child and friend had a 3rd child respectively. I hadnt bargained for them having more than the "standard" 2 children. In the event - my brother decided not to have a 3rd child/the friend did do so.

So I guess the position I evolved into is "maybe - if someone has 1 or 2 children" moving onto "stop dead for all children - including nos 1 and 2 - if they go on to have a 3rd child" - partly as my conscience wouldnt let me subsidise someone having more than 2 children in an overpopulated world and also my finances wouldnt stretch to cover presents for the extra child.

ailuro2

Let them know you agree Christmas is too commercial, and agree that you should spend £5 on each child and hae a secret santa for the adults with the same price limit- that way everyone gets something to open, no-one goes overboard, and it's non competitive moneywise.

RoxieW

I think people are thinking way too much about this! I love christmas and will buy for everyone this year - although many presents will be small - book/chocolates etc - it doesnt have to break the bank. But I do it because I love giving. I dont keep a tally of what I or my kids receive. Some of my friends/family dont buy gifts, some buy big expensive gifts. Each to their own. Things are never going to be equal so why even try. Decide what you want to give and stick with that. Sod your brother - let him do what he likes. But he doesnt decide what YOU want to do. Go with your heart and give with the spirit of giving in mind - even if you've only spent a couple of pounds.
Ps - I'd love it if my children we're given simple gifts such as books/crafty bits etc rather than the latest battery operated 6 foot plastic thing. But people will give what they want to and we're grateful no matter what.