If I havent got children should Xmas be cancelled?

Peter_Pan

We are the only ones in our family that have children and the rest of the family always buy the children something but the last few years they have stopped buying for OH and I, this is fine with us and they say they don't expect anything themselves BUT i feel that Christmas is about giving and still buy everyone something small and have them over for a buffet tea over Xmas which they always contribute to by bringing some food or drink.
My view is that they are making an effort for the children and i would like to thank them for that.

Christmas is about the children but its also a time for families to get together and for people to relax and put any problems to one side just for a few days. I'm sure my family would be just as happy if i didn't buy anything but all got together (we are the only ones really that have the space to do it) but giving something small makes me happy so i still do it.

Alikay

I don't think the OP is selfish, just hurt that because she's currently childless, not by choice either, she's excluded. But Hey! you can join in and spend your hard-earned cash to make it even MORE special for those who ARE lucky enough to have kids!!

It's a bit like buying wedding presents when you're single though - forking out for something to fill a house that has 2 incomes coming in whilst you're struggling to pay the bills alone!

You'll feel diffently when your turn comes along...and if it never does (heaven forbid) will a few ££'s saved on presents make a difference to your grief? If you don't want to buy each kiddie a gift, could you maybe buy each family a shared present like a DVD or board game? Think they're a load of tight bu@@ers if they don't get you a token bottle of wine though!

Good luck with trying for a baby...I'm sure you'll get there soon x

JimmyTheWig

SandC wrote: »

My brother seems to think that I should buy presents for his nephews and nieces on his wife's side. I do not agree, what do others think?

It just depends on the relationships, I guess. You certainly wouldn't be expected to in terms of "they're family so you have to". I don't think there's even a name for that relationship. Aunt-in-law?
But if you are going, for example, to your brother's house on Christmas day and both sets of family will be there then I think it would be nice to get a small gift for the kids. In the same way as it would be nice if a friend of the family was going to be there with small children.

Listen - for all of you worrying about the cost of presents - the 99p shop near us does some great things. Some of their stuff looks like it costs much more than a pound. If you are saying that you can't afford a pound each for these children then fair enough don't buy them anything. But I'm sure a lot of people can add an extra couple of quid onto their Christmas shopping and not even notice.

SandC

oldMcDonald wrote: »

Why? Do you have a close relationship with them yourselves? Do they buy pressies for your family? I don't buy for my sisters partners family - I don't know any of them, though!

Personally I would refuse to!

Not close no. I told him he was talking tosh.

They don't buy for me, no but then I'm an adult and expected to give and not receive.

oldMcDonald

SandC wrote: »

Not close no. I told him he was talking tosh.

They don't buy for me, no but then I'm an adult and expected to give and not receive.

Ah - tell him to get stuffed, then

SandC

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

It just depends on the relationships, I guess. You certainly wouldn't be expected to in terms of "they're family so you have to". I don't think there's even a name for that relationship. Aunt-in-law?
But if you are going, for example, to your brother's house on Christmas day and both sets of family will be there then I think it would be nice to get a small gift for the kids. In the same way as it would be nice if a friend of the family was going to be there with small children.

Listen - for all of you worrying about the cost of presents - the 99p shop near us does some great things. Some of their stuff looks like it costs much more than a pound. If you are saying that you can't afford a pound each for these children then fair enough don't buy them anything. But I'm sure a lot of people can add an extra couple of quid onto their Christmas shopping and not even notice.

I do go to his for Xmas day but they see my sis in law's side of the family on boxing day. If there were other children there on the day aside from my nephew then I'd get something for them too. Friends of theirs pop in later in the day but no way am I buying them something!!

JimmyTheWig

Following on from my last post, in terms of the OP's predicament...
How about you accept the deal in principle but suggest that rather than buying each other nothing you buy each other one thing from a pound shop.

That's not going to break anyone's budget (hopefully), you will have something to unwrap on the day, you will all have fun trying to find something decent that the other people will like for a pound, and there'll probably develop a friendly sibling-rivalry in terms of who can buy the best present for a pound. And all of a sudden it's about the giving rather than the receiving and everyone's happy.

SandC

I wish my friends and I did buy presents. We always said we wouldn't do Xmas pressies but have a night out instead - now that never seems to happen either. Birthday presents seemed to stop at age 30. I do understand, they have families and costs etc. but I love to buy presents for people but feel like I can't as it would make them feel bad in not returning the gift (which I'm not fussed at).

I am very good at buying presents that I think someone would especially like (rather than what I like for myself - chocolate accepted cos they might offer me some).

oldMcDonald

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Following on from my last post, in terms of the OP's predicament...
How about you accept the deal in principle but suggest that rather than buying each other nothing you buy each other one thing from a pound shop.

That's not going to break anyone's budget (hopefully), you will have something to unwrap on the day, you will all have fun trying to find something decent that the other people will like for a pound, and there'll probably develop a friendly sibling-rivalry in terms of who can buy the best present for a pound. And all of a sudden it's about the giving rather than the receiving and everyone's happy.

There is quite a bit of fun trying to find the worst pressies too! DH and I make a stocking of 'silly' pressies up for each other each year, we open ours when the kids open their pressies from Santa. The game is to spend £3 on several pressies that are tacky yet useful.

How I love my Elvis magnetic thermometer that sits on my fridge, one of my pressies from last years stocking

mspig

I certainly wouldn't buy for my brother wifes nieces and nephews, people seem to have forgot the meaning of christmas and just presume that everyone should get pressies, christmas in our house is about the kids, we don't buy for each other and the only adults we buy for are my gran and grandad and my mum and dad.

His mum and dad live abroad so its too much messing about to send things to them and they don't buy the kids anything, at birthdays or christmas so we decided that pressies for them should stop, and he hasen't any grandparents, he also doesn't speak to his brother or sister so no pressies there either.