MSE Pregnancy Club III

angelfairy

oh caz, that is awful. i dont even know if i possess the words to say anything else.

elle_gee

cazscoob wrote: »

ok im back in shock and feeling sick..i made a friend a nappy cake a few month ago and was asked by a friend if i would make one for her sister who was due at end of nov beg dec. she was msg me last night to see if i had it ready and i just went online to find a msg from her to say the baby has died before being born. i dont personally know this girl but i feel so awful for her and am shaking thinking about it?

I hadn't wanted to mention it - getting through the first twelve weeks is hard enough without worrying for your entire pregnancy! - but similar happened to my Mum. It was before me (I'm the result of her second pregnancy), she was 38 weeks when she went into early(ish) labour. The thing was, the staff knew that the baby had died, but they didn't tell her (she's guessed but didn't want to ask) and she had to go through the whole labour not quite knowing what was going on. Bear in mind this was 28ish years ago and monitoring in labour wasn't what it is now.

Understandably, she went to pieces and it caused her marriage to break up. The one thing my Mum always tells me is to talk about things.. they didn't talk and that's what caused the break up.

I don't think there is any hereditery link at all, but it's always in the back of my mind that it's not over until the baby is there in your arms and wailing

angelfairy

elle - i know me saying i am so sorry to hear your mum's story does not mean a lot, but she is an amazingly strong person. i just do not think i could cope. bless her.

elle_gee

angelfairy wrote: »

elle - i know me saying i am so sorry to hear your mum's story does not mean a lot, but she is an amazingly strong person. i just do not think i could cope. bless her.

No, it does mean a lot, and I'm sure she would say the same - she is a member of MSE but neither of us know each others usernames (although she'd guess it was me straight away!) and I've banned her from reading this thread!

cazscoob

think it has just hit home that anything can happen, i dont know full story but think im just going to stay away as it will just make me worry more?
elle your mum sounds amazing that is awful that they knew and didnt tell her, but at least she has you:D

elle_gee

This probably won't be to everyone's taste, but when my Dad heard of my m/c he sent me a txt msg which said something like "Look at what happened to your mum, and how awesome the second one [me] turned out! ". Although a bit twisted, that actually meant a lot as me and Dad don't usually get on - it was probably only the second time he'd shown he cared in recent years (first when I announced I was preg and the third was during the speech he gave at my sister's wedding).. makes me laugh and cry at the same time!

ETA: Caz, unfortunately there is nothing you can ever say in those circumstances so it's hard to know what to suggest. Like you say, it's just so horrible to think things can go wrong at just about any stage

cazscoob

you know what men are like they say things that are meant to be loving and caring and sometimes they come out wrong, but if you know them well enough then you know what they really mean! dads are the worst ones lol!!!

think im gonna head for bed while this bump is still but knowing my luck my head will hit the pillow and she will kick all night! not that ill mind tonight saying that??? night elle xx

elle_gee

Night caz! Really do try not to worry - it really is very rare, particularly so these days with such better monitoring. Hope you have a restful night

And, yes, Dad's are the worst but I knew what he really meant - he's definitely THAT type! :rolleyes:

feelinggood_2

AF - I got mine from Simplybe, seemed to be the only place that did fat peoples maternity clothes! I've got over the bump trousers, and they are so lovely - got big stretchy panels in the side so they'll grow with me. I put up with too tight trousers for too long, should have got maternity ones sooner!

Sami_Bee

Hi AF!
I'm deff getting worse coughing every couple of minutes now, hubby keep saying sorry, he feels guilty for passing it on and even said he'd sleep on the sofa so he didn't wake me or chris with his coughing:happyhearhe's gone to bed and he only got up at about 1 today, his manager rang him this eve and told him to not come back until he was 100% only thing is he's booked to do his FLT license on friday but even if not well enough to work he reckons he could go in to do the test then come home again.
I'm just worried that if I get as bad as him he'll need to take time off work to look after chris for me:rolleyes:. Chris is not too bad but didn't eat much of his tea, asked for some medicine before his milk and went to bed early so who knows what tomorrow holds for him, hopefully as he's the healthiest out of us he'll get over it quickest!

ooh written alot there! I have to tell you my sister's friend has just given birth to twins a girl 4lb something called Betsy (how CUTE!!) and a boy 6lb something called Seth (poor Betsy her bro has obviously been nicking more than his fair share of mummy's grub in that bump!)
She's still determined that I can't have a boy coz she hates the name Edgar :rotfl:
her wishes worked last time as we had Freya as a girls name then which he also hates :rolleyes: so wished for a boy. - The cheek of her she takes the P out of the names I like then suggests Josie as a name which reminds me of the cheeky scouse cleaner we had when I was a waitress (lovely woman but I won't be naming my child after her)