Trying For a Baby II

cedrickerry

Like so many of my cycle buddies I'm out of the running too. Seems like the unusual spotting on Sunday was just a sign of the witch on her way. She got me this morning! More disappointed than I thought I would be. DH is gutted (but did add . . . . at least he knows he'll get some this month:rotfl: )
Roll on the weekend when countdown for next month can start again

Sticky baby dust to those still in the running

elastigirl

cedrickerry You were one of my cycle buddies before i was pg sorry silly Af has come she is a pain isn't she. I didn't update everyone on me did i, it was all too raw for me to talk about it still is really but ha ho life goes on.
I will try to keep it short I had a mc docs happy that i had passed all the tissue then about 10 days later i also had an ectopic pg. I had to have an injection of methotrexate to stop the baby from growing. Still going back to hospital weekly for blood tests as hcg levels are not falling very fast. They can take up to 6 weeks:eek: my arms are a mess already. I look like a user.

I can't get pg again for another 3 months as the drug is a cancer drug and stops cells from dividing so if i was to get pg the baby could either not grow and i would mc or it would have abnormalities. We can't even bd until hcg levels back to 0

Anyway not really had Af since just bleeding from mc and then ectopic but that has stopped and it seems my body is getting back to normal as i have got lots of ewcm now.

Nicki

I'm really sorry elastigirl. That sounds like a terrible ordeal. Hope all goes well for you in the future.

Tigerlilley1980

Hey Elastigirl I am so sorry you have had such a rough time, the best you can do is keep positive and look forward to that bding in 3 months. Hugs to you xx

Nikabella chick I am also sorry that you are having a tough time and not really sure what to advise apart from going to see a different GP and being strong, I know you can do it!

Well just awaiting af now on Friday, I am sure she will come this month, maybe not but I don't feel pg and am really tired although this happened last month so am just putting it down to af's impending arrival.

Sticky baby dust to everyone xxx

got-it-spend-it

Nikabella wrote: »

Thank you for your hugs Scottishchick, I really need them.

I don't think I dare tell my boss type of person, he has just quadrupled my work load & I don't think he will be very happy.

I have depression at the moment already, I know I do (though I hate to admit it) as I have had it before. It came back again after I had my DD & it took me 20 months to summons the courage to go to my doctor, he said he would make me an emergency appointment with the practices counsellor for the next week, 5 months on & I have heard nothing. I can't face going back again. I was going to start taking St John's Wort a while ago to see if that helped but you musn't take it whilst TTC/pregnant so I gave up on that idea.

A.x

Nikabella honey I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I felt like you about my job last year, and in the end ended up taking a complete career change, and I'm so glad I did. I know the economic climate is tough at the moment but never rule out doing something totally different if you're not happy in your work.


Elastigirl I'm sorry to hear that it's all been so horrid for you. It must be tough also to be told you cannot TTC for three months, so big hugs to you.

Not much to report from here- just plodding along post-miscarriage which is about all I can manage at the moment. TTC isn't off the agenda but we both just need a bit of space at the moment to feel normal again.

Sticky babydust to all x x x

jennynoo

Hi Elastigirl, Thanks for coming back on here and updating us, you were so unlucky, I remember the doc saying that would be very rare to happen. I guess it could have been worse if you had had to have an operation to remove the pregnancy. I hope you start feeling better soon and that your hcg goes down. Sending hugs your way.
:grouphug:

nickynoo08

Hiya everyone, not been around for the last week, been v busy.
Sorry i've not had chance to catch up properly yet, but hugs to everyone that needs them.
Having just come off the pill my body is wandering what on earths going on. My hormones are all over the place and i feel due on all the time. With my first i came off the pill in nov and fell pregnant in the feb so i'm hoping the same will happen this time round too. I'm not going to focus too much on ovulation date as i know i'll start getting obsessive about it. I'm just going have fun trying

Sticky baby dust to everyone
Will try and catch up properly soon x

Nikabella

Thank you so much for all your hugs & support ladies. Today has been really hard, I think admitting how I feel out loud (even if it is on a forum) sort of brought it all home to me how awful I was feeling. I have found myself in tears several times today but it has also felt better knowing that people cared. That, along with listening to what lots of you said had said about trying the doctors again, helped me summons up the courage to ring them & find out why I never got the emergency appointment with the cousellor I was promised. Apparently, they made me an appointment for the 9th Nov & they contacted me, though they can't remember how, to let me know & as I 'didn't turn up' they just didn't bother to contact me again. I never had a letter or call from them & all this time I never dared ring them as I thought that no-one wanted to help me.

I have tried very hard for the past 2 years to protect my DD from this, I'm always happiest when I am with her, so I hope she has mostly seen the best of me, & usually I am at my worst at work/or once she is in bed. I really hope I haven't damaged her. There's so many days when I have had that awful thought that she would be better off without me. I think I would feel less ashamed if it was postnatal depression rather than just depression as I know lots of people won't understand how I can be depressed when I have such a beautiful DD.

The worse work is, the more depressed I feel & vice versa so maybe you are right & if I can just try & get some help with how I feel, that it will work positively in the other direction. I don't tend to network, I often feel like I'm bungling along or a fraud, trying to sound like I know what I'm doing (even though I've been to uni for this) so it's nice to know that maybe it's not only me who thinks this way sometimes. I also do try to break things down into little chunks, but lately feel overwhelmed by the smallest task.

It gives me hope that you managed to completely change careers GISI, I have always hated the field I am in & wanted to work with people, but I've not had the confidence to get out yet. I think it would make the world of difference to how I feel but I need to get myself together a little first.

Reading elastigirl's post now has put how I feel somewhat into perspective. I'm so sorry to hear how hard things have been for you recently elastigirl. It sounds as though the next few months will not be much easier either but please try to keep positive, we are all here for you if you need us. I hope that with time it will become less raw & eventually you will be able to move on to looking for your BFP again. My thoughts are with you.

I'm sorry to hear of all those for whom AF has turned up today, let's hope this is her last visit for you all.

Thank you again for all your support, I have been overwhelmed in a good way today, & that was by your posts.

A.x

becs

Oh Nikabella, depression is absoloutely nothing to be ashamed of! My mum has been on antidepressants for years now and she hates it. For a long time she really gave herself such a hard time and said she just needed to get a grip. I tried desperately hard to try and make her understand that depression is a very real illness just as diabetes or high blood pressure or anything similar is! All it means is there is physical problem in her brain causing her to feel like this, if she had high blood pressure she would think nothing of taking long term medication to redress this and depression is no different. If taking a tablet every day is what it takes for her to feel normal then why is that wrong? She still struggles with this but is slowly coming to terms with it. I hope speaking to a councillor will help you but you should never be ashamed of depression. It is an illness as real as others and is not caused by how much joy and hapiness you do or don't have in your life.
:grouphug:
Becs

rose7_2

Nickabella, Just wanted to say that its very common to feel like a fraud at work who is going to be 'found out'. Lots of people (especially women) feel like this and it's to do with a lack of confidence in your own abilities. I'm sure that you are more than capable of doing your job you just need to focus on your strengths and try to build your self confidence. More than anything you just need to know that its normal to feel like this and you're not alone.

Try not to worry about the effect of your depression on your daughter. This is another area where lots of women beat themselves up imagining that they are bad mothers when in fact they are wonderful parents. You love her and take care of her which is exactly what children need. You won't have damaged her.

I would second what lots of people have said about pushing for an appointment with someone who you can talk to about how you feel and who can help you find a way forward. You've nothing to be ashamed of you just need to speak out. You've taken the first step by talking to us (even if we're not real!).

On a ttc note I am cd16 (i think) and still not sure if my cycle has settled down post-pill. Guess I will just wait until either af comes in a couple of weeks or something else happens...