MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you shop your teenager?

in Money Saving Polls
87 replies 15.5K views
Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Would you shop your teenager?

Whilst withdrawing cash from an ATM you notice £750 is missing from the account. A quick check online reveals the money was spent a few days ago at djdecksdirect.com; your fourteen year-old son's favourite website. He admits using your debit card to make the transaction online and has already received and used the goods. You have bills to pay and simply can't afford to write off that much cash but the only chance of getting it back is to admit what happened to the bank and give it a crime number, which means reporting your son to the police.
Click reply to have your say

Previous MMDs:
Should you risk spreading the lurgy to colleagues?
Should you continue to send birthday presents?

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Replies

  • phoebe03catphoebe03cat Forumite
    890 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    Couldn't bring myself to do it if it was a one off. Severe warning blah de blah, but if it happened again - sure would!
  • enorenor Forumite
    88 Posts
    I doubt I would. It would take a lot more than that I think (perhaps an ongoing problem and I'd tried all else). I would be more concerned about how they thought they were ever going to get away with it. If there was no possibility of taking the goods back for a refund then I suspect a solution would be Ebay or similar.
  • skylightskylight Forumite
    10.7K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Home Insurance Hacker!
    As a one off - to me? Then they would be made to pay it back rather than shop them. Job, Ebay, don't care etc but I would also have to question why they did it, where did I go wrong with upbringing and "guidance" etc.

    However, if my child had done this to me before, or to another person (a friend or relative) then yes, I would contact the police and report the theft. They have had their chance - of which everyone (usually) deserves one.
  • Miss_Cakey_BunMiss_Cakey_Bun Forumite
    155 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    as above as a one off maybe not, but if there was any history...yes I think I would
    Smile laugh love & live
    :happylove
  • Can you afford to write off that much money?

    I probably wouldnt shop the teenager but I would ensure that they paid back in full the money they took however long it took them to do it - so an extra paper round and stopped/reduced pocket , or selling the items on, until it is paid back in full.
    It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.
    Sir Terry Pratchett
    Find my diary here

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5135113
  • moggylovermoggylover Forumite
    13.3K Posts
    I think I am with Skylight and Mrs Hornsey! Mind, I think his backside might be red and sore as well - even if he is bigger than me already:D
    "there are some persons in this World who, unable to give better proof of being wise, take a strange delight in showing what they think they have sagaciously read in mankind by uncharitable suspicions of them"
    (Herman Melville)
  • PoundPound Forumite
    2.8K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Is it really worth putting a stain on your child's record for the rest of their life over £750? I think all people do stupid things when they're young, all you can do is try your best to show them why it was wrong and hope they eventually learn.
  • I wouldn't do it.

    But I can never imagine being in that position either, my DD is VERY honest, I usually leave her my cash card when I go on holiday, in case she needs to withdraw money.
  • I don't think I could possibly report my kid to the police (not that I have any yet!) - but certainly getting them to pay back the money, either by selling the equiptment or working or both, teaching them a valuable lesson as to the price of money.

    Though I would imagine £750 worth of DJ equiptment would be pretty large - would it not be noticed being delivered? Or am I just very out of touch? Heh...
  • Aside from anything else, this thought never entered my mind at all!

    I mean not when I was young (but then tinternet was but a dream then), or that my children would do that!! But now its been mentioned I will think twice about leaving it around when me kiddies get older!! (currently 13, 8 and 5...)

    I guess they see you make a payment, it all seems to easy, and oh look the goods actually come to your door, wrapped up like a present! And there appears to be no cash involved at all!

    I can see that might be appealing... but unless your kiddies watch you intentively when you make these online payments, I dont think they would know how when it came to it, should they even consider using your cc/dc.

    For the record I too wouldnt shop my child in- I couldnt bring myself to reck their life, even if the amount was crying stuff. Like everyone else says, it would be pay back in full time, through reselling on and through any other means like a job/pocket money/losing out on school trips etc.

    I would also make sure that they lost the priviledge of the comp for a while as well, and lock my credit card away!!

    Tis a shocking thought though ay?

    Anyone actually experienced it at all?
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