MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you shop your teenager?

Pound

mjhmjh2 wrote: »

Sorry Dave, it's not going to follow him for many years - unless he goes to prison/borstal and in which case it it will only have to be declared for 3.5 years.

Unless he wants to work in the police, with children or vulnerable people.

Horace

I wouldn't shop him officially but would speak to the police to see if they could have a chat with him to point out that he has 'stolen' money from his parents. It wouldn't be a formal caution just a chat which won't give him a criminal record.

I would sell the items that had been illegally purchased, remove his DJ equipment, remove the computer from his bedroom, ground him, go to the local newsagent and get him a paper round so that he can help pay the money off.

He would also be given a stern lecture about going into my purse to steal and that if he wanted something then he should ask and that me and my husband would decide whether or not the item warranted a huge spend.

If we didnt live in the world of political correctness, he would also have a smacked behind - but we are not allowed to do that to our kids anymore.

grooley2

No, not this time. The lad would have to pay this money back to show him the value of things. But if it happened again after being warned etc, then I would consider it.

moggylover

danielbb wrote: »

Im shocked.

Well no wonder kids are like they are today! they need to learn the consequeces of their actions, bad parenting got him to the stage of being a thief and bad parent is letting him get away with it!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


I am gonna just love reading your distraught posts when your kids get to an age where they start giving you problems:rolleyes: .

Bargainetta

Something similar happened to a good friend of mine but it was bidding for a signed ball on Ebay. She marched him to the building society where he had an account containing Xmas and birthday money, made him withdraw enough to repay her and also confiscated his TRAINERS!:eek: I don't believe it has happened again.

alanfp

Sorry if I'm being dim here, but how would shopping him to the police get you your money back? The bank aren't going to give you your money back, and your insurance won't cover actions by a family member.

.....unless you are planning on suing him and think that your civil case will have a better chance of succeeding if your son has already been successfully prosecuted in a criminal court. But why not make him pay you back yourself, as most of the above posters have said.

By the way,
danielbb
" bad parenting got him to the stage of being a thief "
not all criminal actions are caused by bad parenting!!!! There comes a time when the younster has to take reponsibility for hisown actions.

superflygal

Being a thrifty moneysaver and a caring responsible mother, I would be horrified if my child turned out to be so reckless, devious and irresponsible.

He would be made to repay the money with the threat of police if he did not. He would certainly be taught a lesson!

SFG x

Alikay

superflygal wrote: »

Being a thrifty moneysaver and a caring responsible mother, I would be horrified if my child turned out to be so reckless, devious and irresponsible.

Best have 'em adopted before they reach their teens, then! Sorry, but most kids do something that could be described as reckless, devious or irresponsible. Hopefully not criminal or horrifically immoral - but they WILL do things that go against all your teaching, values and beliefs. It's about growing up and learning to make their own decisions.

I was no angel myself, neither was my DH and most of our friends...luckily our parents rarely found out and now as responsible and successful 40-somethings no-one cares who knicked "the Joy of Sex" from WHSmiths (DH) or who ran up an £80 phone bill in 1976 (moi ). I've discovered a few minor misdemeanors of my kids...I expect it's the tip of the iceberg! I just hope they learn from their mistakes and don't do anything too dangerous or damaging to themselves or others.

Most people, once through adolescence return to the values they were raised with.

frugallass

once upon a time DD was out of credit on her mobile (when aren't they?) and decided to use OH's mobile to carry on her 'text convo', when that ran out of credit she pinched OH's debit card out of his wallet and topped his mobile up!

When we found out I was angry with her but extremely disappointed that she stole from us. She was grounded for 3 months and her phone confiscated for a month. I hope that she learnt her lesson.

Had it been £750 I don't think that I would have reported it to the police but would have made sure that she got a job and paid back every penny.

mizelle

Alikay wrote: »

Best have 'em adopted before they reach their teens, then! Sorry, but most kids do something that could be described as reckless, devious or irresponsible. Hopefully not criminal or horrifically immoral - but they WILL do things that go against all your teaching, values and beliefs. It's about growing up and learning to make their own decisions.

I was no angel myself, neither was my DH and most of our friends...luckily our parents rarely found out and now as responsible and successful 40-somethings no-one cares who knicked "the Joy of Sex" from WHSmiths (DH) or who ran up an £80 phone bill in 1976 (moi ). I've discovered a few minor misdemeanors of my kids...I expect it's the tip of the iceberg! I just hope they learn from their mistakes and don't do anything too dangerous or damaging to themselves or others.

Most people, once through adolescence return to the values they were raised with.

That is a very accurate post. My kids are still very young. We teach them right from wrong, and raise them to be good kids, but I'm under no illusions. I know there will come a day where they'll do something which goes against my principles. I did when I was a teenager, but like Alikay said, you return to the values you were raised with. Those values tend to stay, and when we settle down and grow up, we aren't all that bad.

In response to the original post: I would not contact the police. I'd deal with this "in house".

For the financial loss: I'd sell the stuff first of all. Since it's been used, that wouldn't cover the full loss. So then I'd collect goods from his room... Playstation, TV, CDs, DVDs, Mobile Phone etc... basically anything I can sell. Then, if the balance still wasn't reached, I'd draw up a payment card, and he'd have to earn money somehow to pay the balance... Saturday job, paper round.. whatever works.. as long as it's legal.

For the Punishment: Clearly, he'd be made aware how disappointed we were in him, and how his actions were wrong and how they affected everyone else in the family. He'd feel the loss of his personal things, because kids get so used to having TVs, phones etc... and he'd feel the burn on a Saturday when he was hauled out of bed to go and work a shift for a pittance of a wage (which he would have to hand over to me at the end of the week). I think that ought to cover the "punishment" part of it.

I don't think he'd pull a stunt like that again... and it would take him a long time to gather up all his little luxuries again on his paltry Saturday income.