MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you shop your teenager?

janaltus

Putting the moral arguments to one side (just for a moment) and looking at it from a purely MSE's perspective ... when you came to renew your household insurance you would most likely be asked if anyone in your house had a criminal record (other than for driving offences) and if you answered in the affirmative, the premium could go up considerably.

So ... don't shop your kid to the cops and pay less for your household insurance!

(Personally, I'd hire out the kid - to sweep chimneys - 'til the debt + interest was paid off:A).

danielbb

Im shocked.

Well no wonder kids are like they are today! they need to learn the consequeces of their actions, bad parenting got him to the stage of being a thief and bad parent is letting him get away with it!

maytaurus

danielbb wrote: »

Im shocked.

Well no wonder kids are like they are today! they need to learn the consequeces of their actions, bad parenting got him to the stage of being a thief and bad parent is letting him get away with it!

Just wondered how many children you have danielbb ?

I see that you seem to think it's ok to commit fraud,
yet you 'Would you shop your teenager?' for £750 :beer:

'Originally posted by Pound'
'Is it really worth putting a stain on your child's record for the rest of their life over £750?
I think all people do stupid things when they're young, all you can do is try your best to show them why it was wrong and hope they eventually learn.'

maria74

Like many others, if it was the first time it would be a case of paying it all back - each chore would be given a value such as an hour of ironing or mowing the lawn = £5 - forget minimum wage he/she is a teenager - it doesn't exist - and the punishment has to be 'big' enough to stop it ever happening again. (I guess that system could be continued after the payback time - 'can I have...?' 'well that would be 10 lawns, 2 weeks of washing up and a Sunday spent ironing - do you still want it that bad?' - then they can see the value of money by how many chores it takes to pay for it - I had to do that as a kid anyway)
Obviously PC and social privileges would be cut for a significant time.

Shop to the Police - well if it was an ongoing problem, a bullying issue (to hand the goods over for example) or to pass on the goods for something more sinister such as to pay for drugs... I would consider it. Especially if it was the latter two as there are other crimes involved and the theft is just the effect rather than the cause.

rchddap1

Firstly I'd have a word and get them to pay back the money that they'd 'stolen'. If they refused I would make the threat of the police. If that still didn't work I'd talk to the police to see if they could help. If still nothing could be done then yes they would be shopped.

I firmly believe that a person is responsible for their own actions no matter how old they are. Yes I'd be reluctant to shop them, but if they were refusing to play ball with me then I'd have no choice. This one little 'mistake' could end up teaching them a valuable lesson in that they can't get away with doing things that they know are wrong.

sandy_may

Don't think I'd report them unless it was an ongoing problem of theft. He'd definitely be made to repay the money, grounded, phone confiscated, allowance stopped, items sold on etc....

My daughter pinched some money from us a couple of years ago. Not a huge sum but an ongoing pilfering of cash from my wallet, her siblings money boxes etc, which came to light when i knew i had £8 in £2 coins and then found myself stuck with less cash than i thought when i came to pay for carparking. This happened on the same afternoon that I'd discovered in her room various bits & bobs that I'd been complaining about missing for several weeks.

At first we were worried that she was being bullied or something & that was why she was taking the money. She eventually confessed after much blatent lying etc to taking £4 and putting it on her school catering card for 'extras' (she was already taking a huge packed lunch to school). A printout of her card soon revealed that she'd taken a hell of a lot more than £4 and that it had all been in smallish amounts £1-£3 at a time but over several weeks & had all been spent on cakes/pastries/biscuits etc in the school canteen. We were SO shocked that she would do such a thing so decided to take stern action & nip it in the bud. Catering card & pocket money were stopped & she had to repay the money which she duly did by doing chores, violin practice etc.

Ok, nothing in the league of this weeks dilemma but the point I am trying to make was that she never did it again & learnt the value of money. By knowing that she was doing chores etc but not going to feel the benefit of what she earned really irritated her. I remember her making the final repayment - she was SO chuffed but it took her a couple of months to earn enough to do that!

So to summarise, no i wouldn't report them to the police unless a servious ongoing issue, (though i would certainly threaten to), severe sanctions to be put into place: grounding, treats/pocket money stopped etc & they would DEFINITELY have to repay every penny IN FULL

valk_scot

I wouldn't report him if it was a one off....but the wrath of the heavens would descend on him for several months. Grounding, no pocket money, extra chores and the goods put straight on Ebay would just be the start. Plus if money was that tight I'd be selling off his Wii or DS or anything else of value to make up the money, plus taking his savings from his bank account or piggy bank. He'd find out that when it came to setting his personal gratification against his siblings and parents food, clothes and bill payments his personal gratification would take one heck of a dent. I'd go so far as to reduce birthday and Christmas presents till the debt was paid off, every penny. And I would not let him keep one speck of his ill gotten gains, not even if I had to take the whole lot to the charity shop because they were worthless if used.

The other thing I'd do is change the numbers on my cards and lock them up a bit more securely.

And once I'd calmed down, I'd sit down somewhere and try to figure out just what in my upbringing of him said that doing this sort of thing was okay. And ask him too. I'd want to know so that it wouldn't happen again. It is possible there might be something happening in his life that made him feel he deserved to have all this stuff? And I'd be bloody grateful, btw, that he hadn't just nicked £750 to pay off some sort of ghastly drug debt.

No.1cashcow

If a 1st"offence", I would not shop them in, however I would insist on being repaid no matter how long it took, even if it mean't sacrificing xmas/birthday presents.

It concerns me that people are so free with debit cards so that their offspring have access to them and know security info though.

markelock

pay the money and take the responsibility.

child would be forever endebted to me, and would be forced to pay it back.

JimmyTheWig

Am assuming this is a case of not fully realising the consequences of what they were doing, as opposed to outright deliberate theft.

In which case I wouldn't report them, but make sure they understood what they had done and why it was wrong. The best way to do this would be for them to "pay back" the money - selling the stuff on eBay and working for the difference. I wouldn't, as suggested above, raid their savings for it as I doubt a 14 year old sees the value in these savings.

If it was, however, outright deliberate theft then I think the police would have to be an option, but I would do everything I could to sort it before it went that far.