MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you shop your teenager?

tina536

Harsh I know but he would have to be reported. Let them get away with something that big and they will take it as read that they can get away with anything!! Look at the things kids are doing today....If someone had nipped it in the bud early.

muffintop

Sell the stuff immediately for the best price you can get, make him repay the difference, and grounding, etc, but don't shop him to the cops. A dishonesty marker on his criminal record (which would include a complaint or a caution for it) could affect his educational and work prospects and, as already mentioned, affect your insurance premiums.

Euphemia_2

No, I bloody wouldn't. We have had an incident like this in our family and my uncle wanted to shop the culprit. I would say he is the only person in this world that I truly hate; perhaps that's why I wouldn't turn them in. I will never be like my uncle.

Murder, go to the police. Child molestation, go to the police. £750, they would be made to pay it back through any manner possible. Selling the decks would be the first step.

Sagi

I wouldn't shop him but he'd lose his phone, ipod, pocket money and all the goods he'd bought until he'd paid back every penny. And if he ever did it again I'd go to the police.

drench

My son Fred and his friend stole over £1000 in cash from our home over a period of a couple of months. We finally took the decision not to shop them (for Freds sake- so he didn't get a criminal record). Fred paid all the money back in full, his now ex friend refused to pay anything. It took us several years to forgive Fred but I think he appreciates what we did for him.
Last year Fred was assaulted during a burglary of our home in which £150 was taken. The youths were tagged & given community service - however not made to pay back the money. When asked whether they thought they should pay it back they said they had been punished enough. Doesn't make sense to me, if Fred had done this to anyone else I would have made him pay back the money as well as "do the time". If Fred ever steals again - I would shop him as he obvioulsy has not learned the lesson - but I hope it never comes to that.

baldmosher

I'm not sure whether the crime would be theft or defraud - or both - in either case I doubt the child would be convicted, and I understand it would get that far if you wished to press charges. If you stopped it before it got that far, you're letting them off the hook anyway.

The "severe talking to" from police and debt repayment would be my favourite plan.

This is all great advice though, I'll be remembering it for if/when I have kids one day!

maytaurus

nancypearl wrote: »

I am really surprised and shocked by some replies.
It is theft, plain and simple. Who cares who he stole from? He knew what he was doing.
Phone the police and explain what has happened and a police officer will come round and have a strict chat with the kid. To the point where the CHILD is quaking in his boots, scared of the consequences.
Then he is still grounded, without pocket money and privileges - no mobile phone, dj decks, internet, trips out etc until all of the money has been paid back. At minimum wage doing housework and odd jobs that is going to be a very long time.
If you can do this sharp shock now then *it will be difficult in the short term but you will gain his respect in the long term and may not have a delinquent on your hands.
If there was discipline in the house then he wouldn't have dreamed of doing it in the first place.*

'It is theft, plain and simple.'
*This is very VERY QUESTIONABLE ................
are you actually saying that if a child comes from a disciplined home he will NEVER do anything wrong?
If you are saying this I think you are deluding yourself ....... there's plenty of evidence to the contrary!
As for gaining his respect in the long term ..... this is also very questionable ........

holyspice

Yes I would report him to the police. At 14 he is old enough to know right from wrong. It will be a harsh lesson but one he obviously needs to learn. PS that's providing I'm not done for murder first!

fudgecat

At 14, theoretically the child would know right from wrong, however medical evidence suggests that various hormonal imbalances in these years lead to a feeling of invulnerability, leading to greater risk taking behaviour. The sheer dare factor of doing this may be at work, as may the fact that a card number does not seem like real money. You must also consider the fact that a child may not see purchasing an expensive item on a parent`s card as theft in any form : mum and dad provide, so why should they not provide this? The same child may never consider taking money or goods from anyone else - that would be theft in their eyes.
Having said all that, the action is morally wrong and it is essential that the child is made to realise this and make true reparation for the loss - and that would apply whatever the income of the parent. Police and a criminal record? No. I believe the action and eventual consequences for the child to be disproportional to the crime committed. Grounding, made to pay back through chores, lack of pocket money, treats, presents or even a touch of community service (how could they help others?) would be a more fitting punishment. It also would not hurt them see the shock,grief and broken trust from the parents. It is important that they learn empathy for the victim and that actions have consequences.
Thought for the day now over!

nsaspooks

:j :j Where's the Spanish Inquisition when you want them!:j :j