MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you shop your teenager?

Skyhigh

Obviously sell the decks via ebay or similar.

Make them pay the difference from their means (selling of their own goods if that have any, tv, playstation, etc - or take it from any 'wages' they may get from a job they may have).

Outline exactly how long and hard I had to work to earn the £750.

After everything was 'put right' and made up, then I'd have to think of a punishment.

At 14 you're old enough to know exactly what you're doing, plus your old enough for a paper-round or something...!

I probably wouldn't "shop them", because my retribution* would be far, far worse than anything the authorities could come up with (slap on the wrist?).

:!:

* Retribution here means punishment in the form of, making them pay back the money, doing extra chores/work, earlier curfew, etc, etc.

duchy

It would make me wonder what kind of parent I was to have raised a teenager who thought it was OK to steal from family. The value isn't the issue.

Paxo123

Being a bit pedantic and working in Crime Recording, this is actually a Fraud by False Representation in that the son has made a false representation (he is the owner of the card and allowed to use it) in order to make a gain for himself.

There is NO need to report this to the police to get a crime ref number to pass onto the bank. Since the 2006 Fraud act, banks record and initially investigate their own Fraud crimes and the police have little or no interest in them unless the banks ask them to investigate - the offender is identified and the banks want to prosecute.

Home Office Counting Rules

The Financial Institutions will encourage customers (both personal and business) to report cheque, plastic card or online bank account fraud directly to them and not the Police in the first instance. Online bank accounts include telephone bank accounts. Fraud reported to the Financial Institution, will then only be reported to Police if they are satisfied that there is a reasonable chance of a suspect being brought to justice through Police Investigation. However, where Financial Institutions report a crime to Police that does not
have a suspect, Police are still required to record a crime under general NCRS principles.

Account holders reporting at Police Stations:

Account holders attempting to report cheque, plastic card or online bank account fraud offences at police stations will be asked in the first instance if they have been specifically told to do so by their Financial Institution. If they have not they will be told to contact their Financial Institution who will deal with the account holder. It is necessary to record a crime related incident at this point.

If the Financial Institution wishes an account holder to report the crime to the police direct, the Financial Institution will give the account holder a reference number to give to the police – either in the form of a letter
or verbally. In this case, the account holder will be asked to report it to their local police station. The police station must then record a crime related incident.

So even if you do report the Fraud to the police, they will record a Crime Related Incident - this is NOT a crime report but a report that **may** be a crime. The chances are they will then file the incident off with no investigation, I know my force does, as not having been confirmed by the victim.

This then brings up the question of who is the victim of these crimes. Once you report it to the bank, then they become the victim not the account holder. Yes you have lost the money but the bank should repay it to you and they suffer the loss. OK it could be argued that you have the inconvenience but you won't have suffered any actual loss. The police will assume that you have reported this to the bank so the bank become the victim who have not confirmed the crime so "No victim - no crime".....file.

This is why it is important to tell the banks not the police or the true scale of Fraud is not recorded. Cynics might say that the 2006 act has made it far easier for banks and the government to say that fraud crimes are reducing...:rotfl: Which has a knock on effect on overall crime reducing but that is another argument.

In this case though by keeping quiet, you keep the loss and would be the victim but the chances are the police will not record the crime or will prosecute the son as it would be seen as an easy detection once they have comfirmed the crime with the bank and made them the victim.

Anyway.....would I shop him to the bank. No but he would certainly see the error of his ways and would probably wish I had told the police!

Alikay

I wouldn't shop him, but he'd have to sell the stuff on ebay or through the small ads and make up the difference by doing a paper round and out of pocket money, christmas/birthday money etc.

Actually DS1 has been a bit of a wheeler-dealer, and though he's NEVER stolen, he's had his fingers burnt a couple of times over erm... dodgy deals. We've never bailed him out, and its surprising how resourceful teenagers can be when they need to raise cash: DS1 put all sorts of stuff on ebay.....spent hours cleaning up old outgrown footy boots, digging about in drawers for old mobile phones to flog, even making some ebook thing which people paid £1 a time for!

Everyone makes mistakes especially when they're young, but putting it right is how they learn from them. Like JimmyTheWig says, if deliberate theft was the intention rather than simply getting carried away it would be much more serious.

ianWinchester

Almost certainly yes. Parents are too often the butt of their children's thoughtlessness, and in this case, major dishonesty. The 14 year old should be old enough to realise that they have actually stolen this money - just because it's from a parent it doesn't lessen the seriousness of this. A shock is necessary, and also if this is the only way to recover the £750 (a very large sum to think that you can just take) then the police should be involved. I am sure that there are ways of mitigating the effects on the teenager, providing that they realise the wrong and are genuinely sorry. In any event, they have shown that they cannot be trusted, and that will have repercussions within the family for quite a time. There might also be questions about any parental attitude that might have led the child to even begin to think that what they were doing was acceptable ...

DrFluffy

Like a shot. This is £750, not £7.50! Where would the next stop be, if he got away with that? Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind!

shiatsudave

As previous folk have pointed out, the credit implications are to be considered. I think I'd personally ensure the goods are sold to keep the credit card company off my back for a little while, and he'd be expected to make up the difference, (hopefully by honest means and not resorting to stealing and dealing!)

Also, my family motto that has been handed down through the generations runs "there's two things in life you don't trust, one is a bull, the other is a copper". Apologies to any members of the force reading this.

sarahs999

This is no dilemma to me. I wouldn't shop to the police as that's a little drastic, and kind of a waste of time for them, but clearly the boy has no regard for personal property of others or any concept of the value of money. So first, the decks would be confiscated. Secondly, he would pay back every penny, (with interest if he argued!), either by foregoing an allowance, if he had one, until it was paid off, or by going out and getting a paper round/saturday job.

And he would be grounded for stealing. I'm shocked at some of the lenient responses on here - I would be an absolute tonne of bricks! If a boy of 14 isn't going to be disciplined for stealing, when are you planning to start?! And yes, I do have a son, so this isn't a fantasy response....:rotfl:

People having no real concept of how long it takes to save up £750 spending money is one of the reasons this country has such a massive debt crisis.

splish

No.. as most parents, would try and deal with the problem and not the action

Eskimo12345

My first reaction (after killing him to death) would be to phone the company who he bought them off in a really !!!!ed off mood and describe intermittent faults with all of it and go for a refund. Not ethical, and fraudulent, but cheaper!

ps if this has actually happened to anyone I'm in the market for a pair of Mk5 1210's, lol