MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you shop your teenager?

Ebenezer_Screwj

Any child of mine would be well aware of the seriousness of theft so if it happened I would discipline him myself and call the police. He would have to face the consequences and learn a lesson.

shadej

I would not even consider contacting the police. I would how ever take away the goods that were bought and sell them any way I can. My child would have to make up the short fall and do odd jobs. I am guessing it would take some time to pay the money back but it will be paid. There would be no pocket money of days out until its cleared. Once it has been paid i would still reduce pocket money. I would see this a a domestic problem and I would deal with it as a parent should. I would feel an utter failure if I had to turn to the police to help me raise my child.

BigMikeyG

They would get the one chance but if it was the second time then I would shop them in. as it be I would ake the decks away and sell them :-)

tree_girl

The child would have the items confiscated, and would be forced to pay back the monies plus interest for taking account into the red (which it would do probably).
They would be seriously hauled over the coals and reasons why they did this seriously explored.

when the debt is paid the items might be returned (mainly dependant on how contrite the child was over the whole thing), if not would sell them on ebay to recoup some of the cost..

I would not however shop them to police unless this was happening more than once
.

GT60

Yes! well in a way
We had aproblem with money going missing in our home first it was a few £'s then it got to 10's and 20's we questioned ETC. the one who was doing it.
No amount of punishment seemed to stop him we even went round the local shops and stopped him buying sweets etc.
But in the end we phone our local police for some ADVICE and the local bobby came round in the afternoon while he was at school to find out what was happening.
That evening he came back and had a chat with our son on his own.
To this day we don't know what was said BUT he has never touched any more money or if he find's some lying round even a penny he will bring it to us.
Also his school work has improved 10,000,000%

loftyman

well said niall24 we found my gfs lads had stolen from a gift shop on a day out with us.they were both under age of criminal responsability being 5 and 9,so the next day i took them back to the attraction we had visited and made them apologise to the park manager and hand back the momentoes stolen.both were crying and the elder even asked if he could be cained instead such was their shame.that was 17 years ago and neither,to my knowledge,has been in trouble with the law since.i somtimes think that these days parents go easy on children as its easier for them but it only stores up trouble for the future.

blued

As far as the criminal record part goes I was always led to believe that until you're 16 nothing is on 'permanent' record? I'm sure there are some exceptions to this depending on the seriousness of the crime.

At 14 unless the teenager is somewhat thick they'll know fine that what they're doing is completely wrong.

blued

mjhmjh2 wrote: »

Sorry Dave, it's not going to follow him for many years - unless he goes to prison/borstal and in which case it it will only have to be declared for 3.5 years. This is under the rehabilitation of offenders act:-

http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/rehabact.htm

some more description here:-
http://www.yourrights.org.uk/yourrights/privacy/spent-convictions-and-the-rehabilitation-of-offenders/how-a-conviction-becomes-spent.html

Sometimes it doesn't make complete sense, for example Drink Driving, stays on your license for 11 years, if you do it twice in 10 years it can mean longer bans or doctors investigations, however you only ever need tell an insurance company or anyone else about it for 5 years!

Matthew

Sorry missed this post - that pretty much confirms what I thought. I think it would depend on the circumstances. You might have bills that need to be paid with that £750 and if there was no other option (ie no chance of borrowing the money etc) then you might find that you HAVE to shop the child. At less than 17 years old and the fact its likely to be a fine it wont need to be declared after 2.5 years.

Just something to think about, I dont have kids and dont think I could give a true answer until I was actually in the situation anyway.

redsue42_2

We've got something similar going on, but without the overt dishonesty. We agreed our daughter could go on an expensive college trip (2k), providing she raised half herself. We've paid our half to the college, she has nothing. The school have laid on loads of fundraising events, and we have just found out that she hasn't participated in a thing, and her share of the joint fundraising account is empty. We've pulled her from the trip (may or may not get money back, but not throwing good money after bad). We are finding it very difficult to get her to see the consequences of her actions ie: loss of large sum of money, breach of trust, all that stuff. Despite our outrage, she is walking round oblivious (actually, angry at us), and all our actions (loss of allowance and privileges) have lead to an awful atmosphere in the house. It's easy to say what people should do in these circumstances, but very difficult, sometimes, to live with the consequences of those actions, although I agree that they have to feel what they have done, otherwise they will remain oblivious.

chrissie55

If paying the bills depended on it, I'd have to shop him; a 1st offence wd be dealt with leniently IF it went to court, & wd be a spent conviction after a few years. He'd also have to pay me back, & sell the items. I'd hope that the kids I've raised wdn't be so piggish & stupid, as I've always stressed the importance of having enough to pay bills.:eek: