MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you shop your teenager?

Kernow_Kid

Wouldn't he have to pay the money back anyway?
If that is the case then it would be me paying it back because he couldn't afford to, so I wouldn't bother shopping him.
That would put a blemish on his record, cause my insurance rates to rocket and I would still be out of pocket.

The first thing I would do is send the decks back and get a refund.
If I couldn't then I would sell them at a loss and make him work off the debt.

After tanning his hide so he couldn't sit down for a month!

tallgirld

I would be absolutley furious!!! I wouldn't get the police involved but I would make it very clear that there will be NO xmas presents and NO birthday presents until I have got that money back by reducing his pocket money. Could take YEARS!!! Thieving little sod!!!

Taffybiker

No I would not shop him but I would not sell the goods either. To do so would mean the teenager paying back just a fraction of the real cost. The goods would be confiscated and well hidden. As for the money, he would have to pay it all back - legitimately - and then I would return the goods to him.
By this time he should realise how difficult it is to raise such a sum and hopefully learn from his own mistake.

DorsetDave2

Dont report it. Deal with it yourself however difficult that will be.
Here's why

1. Your son will get a criminal record which will follow him for many years to come and have all sorts of implications for jobs, credit, loans etc etc

2. The Social Services may well get involved and that is a nightmare. Your parenthood skills will come under severe scrutiny. The SS have intolerable powers over which you will have no control.

3. It is unlikely your son will get a custodial sentence but the probation service could be become involved.

This is all fact - not fiction!

Euphemia_2

DorsetDave2 wrote: »

Dont report it. Deal with it yourself however difficult that will be.
Here's why

1. Your son will get a criminal record which will follow him for many years to come and have all sorts of implications for jobs, credit, loans etc etc

2. The Social Services may well get involved and that is a nightmare. Your parenthood skills will come under severe scrutiny. The SS have intolerable powers over which you will have no control.

3. It is unlikely your son will get a custodial sentence but the probation service could be become involved.

This is all fact - not fiction!

Absolutely. Read Perverting the Course of Justice by Inspector Gadget (or for us MoneySavers go to his blog at inspectorgadget.wordpress.com) by a real but anonymous police inspector. He gives the example of a mother who asked someone at his force to give her son a "talking to" about his drug use, but because they had performance targets to meet, the boy ended up in custody and facing criminal charges. If you WANT your child to have a criminal record that's your choice. But don't assume they can just frighten the kid a bit and leave it at that.

GaZ

I'm going to have to say YES !!!! because it happened , I had money dissapearing from my bank account which I had to report to the bank and the police believing my card had been cloned , after asking all my kids if they had "borrowed" my bank card , the police identified it as being one of my teenagers , so I had to let police punish them as obviously my threats/rants were not enough , they are now back in line and paid they money back out of their paper round money , but it has also taught the others not to take without asking ( I have 6 kids , so had to set an example ).

mjhmjh2

Pound wrote: »

Is it really worth putting a stain on your child's record for the rest of their life over £750? I think all people do stupid things when they're young, all you can do is try your best to show them why it was wrong and hope they eventually learn.

Without wishing to be too pedantic here, however you aren't going to be putting a strain on your child's record for the rest of their life*

It would be likely they would get a supervision order at the worst. That only has to be declared for 1 year after it is complete, so maybe 2 years maximum.

Having said that I would not shop my kid myself (note to future kids don't get any ideas reading archives on daddy!). I did also think "it's the parents fault" However I remember as a child conducting things which are perhaps left unwritten (pinching a few quid from parents wallets etc). I consider both of my parents to be of sound mind, intelligent, educated and to have taught me right from wrong etc etc.. Perhaps my acts were due to something missing in my parenting, however i suspect as a curious person who is exposed to the evil of modern advertising and peer pressure I found it difficult not to want what others had. I was never educated about not having things (I was not given money or extras, however my parents seemed to have everything they wanted/needed)

I hope that I will have learnt from the insy winsy tiny mistakes my parents made and teach my kids a wholesome attitude and that wanting things for a period of time builds up the good feeling when you get something, rather than having whatever you want when you want it.. However by teaching my kids this particular lesson I will no doubt forget something else along the way.

I hope our household discipline method would leave an appropriate 'home-made' punishment that is just and legal. From my parents it was "the talk of shame", I wish they had smacked me instead!

Matthew







*Unless they want to become a policeman, where you have to declare convictions for ever. There are other times when you need to declare - such as government security clearance (SC or DV), however it would not affect your application for a minor misdemeanor

mjhmjh2

DorsetDave2 wrote: »

Dont report it. Deal with it yourself however difficult that will be.
Here's why

1. Your son will get a criminal record which will follow him for many years to come and have all sorts of implications for jobs, credit, loans etc etc

2. The Social Services may well get involved and that is a nightmare. Your parenthood skills will come under severe scrutiny. The SS have intolerable powers over which you will have no control.

3. It is unlikely your son will get a custodial sentence but the probation service could be become involved.

This is all fact - not fiction!

Sorry Dave, it's not going to follow him for many years - unless he goes to prison/borstal and in which case it it will only have to be declared for 3.5 years. This is under the rehabilitation of offenders act:-

http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/rehabact.htm

some more description here:-
http://www.yourrights.org.uk/yourrights/privacy/spent-convictions-and-the-rehabilitation-of-offenders/how-a-conviction-becomes-spent.html

Sometimes it doesn't make complete sense, for example Drink Driving, stays on your license for 11 years, if you do it twice in 10 years it can mean longer bans or doctors investigations, however you only ever need tell an insurance company or anyone else about it for 5 years!

Matthew

Paxo123

Euphemia wrote: »

Absolutely. Read Perverting the Course of Justice by Inspector Gadget (or for us MoneySavers go to his blog at inspectorgadget.wordpress.com) by a real but anonymous police inspector. He gives the example of a mother who asked someone at his force to give her son a "talking to" about his drug use, but because they had performance targets to meet, the boy ended up in custody and facing criminal charges. If you WANT your child to have a criminal record that's your choice. But don't assume they can just frighten the kid a bit and leave it at that.

That is true in the case of drugs which are State offence i.e. not having a complaint from a victim (in the case of State offences the victim is Her Majesty) but in the case of this Fraud and as per my previous post...no victim = no crime. It is unlikely that the police will get involved because a) there has been no complaint from a victim and b) that would tie an officer up for an hour or so without a detection to go towards the targets. Better use of his time would be to issue a £80 penalty to a drunk lad....

uksnapper

dead right id report him
using a card without permission is theft. end of story.
If my child was that decietfull i would make sure they fely the full effect of the justice system
A lesson now might,just might,make a person think in future