The miscarriage support and TTC after miscarriage thread

Beamish

Thank you for this thread, I have needed to express my feelings for the last 6 months but have found it so difficult.

This is a Nanny's side of the heartbreak and tears that emotionally effects not just me but a Gramps as well.

Our DDL was 38 weeks pregnant and sadly lost our beloved Grandaughter through Preclampsia, it was a very traumatic time as not only did we have to cope with losing our darling GD we also had to face the possibility of losing our DDL, through the Preclampsia she developed clots on the liver and after the emergency CS was taken to Intensive care, she spent 3 weeks in ICU and we nearly lost her twice but finally she got through it.

We then had to arrange a very sad funeral for the baby that never was, it was an awful time and we still find it difficult to cope with.

I am glad to say that our DDL is on the mend and has been told by her Consultant that there is no problem in trying again.

Today I have been to the hospital with my DDL for a check up scan on her liver, god willing she is fine and her liver is back to normal, we wont know till we have the results at the end of the month. What I did find upsetting today was that there were many new Mums waiting in the Ultra Sound dept for their scans, they were all so excited and couldn't wait to put their money into the machine that gives you tokens for a picture of the scan, I really felt for my DDL, nothing was said but I really felt her heart was breaking.

God willing this time next year I will be/nearly be a Nanny but by god it's going to be a heck of a stressfull 9 months.

Thank you for letting me write my thoughts, I want to have a little cry but DDL is in the next room playing on the p.c. ( DDS is afternoons so she is spending the evening with us).

Think I'll save my little cry till I have my shower then no-one will notice!

My point of this message is please think about your Mums & Dads when terrible things happen, we need hugs as well.

Just to add what my DDL went through is very rare and in fact her Gyney Surgeon had only read about it but had never experienced it in her 25 years of being a Medical Profesional.

Beem xx

rosies_mum

So sorry for your family and ddl beamish. Well done again to skintchick for setting up this thread, I hope it has helped you to share your sad story.
Someone I knew lost their baby at 38 weeks, they knew it had a heart problem and may not survive to birth which sadly it didn't. However, she has just gone onto have another, thankfully everything was fine this time round. It amazes me the strength that people can find to go through it all again. It must be so much harder when they are pratically full term.

GracieP my periods were all over the place after my m/c and erpc. Some months 34 days, others only 23 but I did fall within 6 months. It doesn't help though when trying to work out the best time of the month when ttc. In the end I went back to Docs to check it was normal. Apparently it can take 6 months for things to settle down again.

Skintchick - I got signed off for 2 weeks afterwards which I think I needed, but it got to a point where I needed to make myself go back to work and face people. Make sure you take as long as you need hun, we are all different.
Hugs to all x

skintchick

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

That's a similar thing to what happened with my ectopic pregnancy - my HCG level went down far too slowly - which suggested that the pregnancy was still there - the miscarriage I had gone through (three days of mental and physical agony although my gp wouldn't confirm what was happening to me, despite 2-3 visits). The hospital eventually confirmed a miscarriage. A few days later I had to go back for a blood test. The next day, the hospital rang me and said I might still be pregnant - but they omitted to tell me that there was no hope or that they suspected an ectopic - I was just elated to find I could still be pregnant after being told I was miscarrying. I went straight in for a scan as they wanted to see me urgently. The scan found the embryo on the fibrillae - the frilly bit at the far end of the fallopian tube - right next to my left ovary. I had emergency cesarian the same afternoon

Earlier in the thread, you mentioned you felt like you were losing it SC - when they brought me around after the surgery, that's exactly how I felt - the nurse asked me how I felt and I replied that I was really, really angry and told her to leave me alone. If I wasn't in hospital, I'd have screamed the place down through sheer grief and frustration.

One thing I hate about hospitals - why do they put women who are losing their baby into the maternity ward? There's nothing more cruel, imho.

Oh you don;t think it is ectopic do you? I don;t think I could bear losing one of my ovaries I just feel so unbearably sad, and I don;t want to do anything, not get dressed, not eat, not anything. I am doing these things when I have to but I just don;t want to do anything at all. And I agree - there should be a miscarriage ward separate to maternity. Even the emergency unit seems full of happy PG women.

mrcow

Someone else in the know will confirm this no doubt, but I'm 99% sure that time off "sick" through losing a baby can not be counted in with normal "sick leave" so is recorded separately.

I know it's not much, but it may help if anyone is worried about how much time they are taking off.

melvis

mrcow wrote: »

Someone else in the know will confirm this no doubt, but I'm 99% sure that time off "sick" through losing a baby can not be counted in with normal "sick leave" so is recorded separately.

I know it's not much, but it may help if anyone is worried about how much time they are taking off.

It's counted as sick leave same as any other but you can't be penalised/disciplined for it as it would be sexual discrimination.

galvanizersbaby

skintchick wrote: »

Oh you don;t think it is ectopic do you? I don;t think I could bear losing one of my ovaries I just feel so unbearably sad, and I don;t want to do anything, not get dressed, not eat, not anything. I am doing these things when I have to but I just don;t want to do anything at all. And I agree - there should be a miscarriage ward separate to maternity. Even the emergency unit seems full of happy PG women.

Skintchick - have you had a scan at the hospital yet? - this is really the quickest way to confirm where the pregnancy is located.
I don't think hormone levels falling slowly means that the pregnancy is ectopic as I took a pregnancy test the morning of my ERPC and the levels were really high - it can take a long time for them to fall x
I hope you are feeling a bit better today - I don't think you should return to work until your ready and it sounds to me as if it's still too early

Tiger_greeneyes

skintchick wrote: »

Oh you don;t think it is ectopic do you? I don;t think I could bear losing one of my ovaries I just feel so unbearably sad, and I don;t want to do anything, not get dressed, not eat, not anything. I am doing these things when I have to but I just don;t want to do anything at all. And I agree - there should be a miscarriage ward separate to maternity. Even the emergency unit seems full of happy PG women.

I'm sorry SC, I didn't mean to alarm you - I doubt you have an ectopic, although they happen, they're not the norm and your HCG level is pretty low - which is a good sign - mine was over 1,000. The hospital will keep an eye on you as a matter of course (they will want to make sure you expelled everything in your miscarriage to avoid an infection) so don't read anything into that If it is ectopic, don't worry unduly, it doesn't mean you'll lose an ovary or tube - I didn't lose anything at all From what I recall, your ovaries take it in turn to produce eggs anyway

woozywendy

When I had my 1st mc I had to go to A&E with incredible pains. As the Dr was giving me an internal I knew that I was no longer pregnant as I saw my husbands face when the Dr put my "baby" into a kidney dish. The greif was unbeleivable. On my 3rd mc they kept me in hospital but put me on the maternity ward, I thought I was going to lose my mind when I saw the prenant ladies and new born babys. The ladies were trying to be kind by coming over to console me but I felt like my heart was being ripped out.

Mrs_Ryan

It isnt nice is it when you have to sit in a room or a ward with pregnant ladies... *big hugs* to everyone who has had to go through this. I had to go for an ultrasound to see the extent of the cysts on my ovaries and i had to sit in a room full of pregnant women... worse still was my then-fiance (now ex) had to work and couldnt come with me so I was on my own, I cried my eyes out, its horrible.

skintchick

I'm sorry SC, I didn't mean to alarm you - I doubt you have an ectopic, although they happen, they're not the norm and your HCG level is pretty low - which is a good sign - mine was over 1,000. The hospital will keep an eye on you as a matter of course (they will want to make sure you expelled everything in your miscarriage to avoid an infection) so don't read anything into that If it is ectopic, don't worry unduly, it doesn't mean you'll lose an ovary or tube - I didn't lose anything at all From what I recall, your ovaries take it in turn to produce eggs anyway

It's OK, I just really don;t want to lose half my chances of PG before I even start! I don;t think it's ectopic and the doctor yesterday said it's unlikely - apparently there is a little bit of fluid outside my womb but it's probably from the egg being released but that is why they are checking.

The blood today is brown and much less so I think it may be nearly over physically.

Skintchick - have you had a scan at the hospital yet? - this is really the quickest way to confirm where the pregnancy is located.
I don't think hormone levels falling slowly means that the pregnancy is ectopic as I took a pregnancy test the morning of my ERPC and the levels were really high - it can take a long time for them to fall x
I hope you are feeling a bit better today - I don't think you should return to work until your ready and it sounds to me as if it's still too early

Yes I had a scan but there was nothing in the uterus. She showed me my ovaries but didn;t say anything about the tubes.

Not sure how I'm feeling. Emotionally I seem to be incredibly horny! (Sorry TMI) I'm guessing that's a reaction to what's happened, but OH is certainly pleased! Obviously we can;t have s.e.x right now but I think after weeks of me not being interested in him it's a bit of a relief.

How is everyone else today? It's really helpful to me to read other people's mc stories, and I'm really grateful to people for posting.

:A