The miscarriage support and TTC after miscarriage thread

skintchick

Oh Peter Pan that's so sad WHat a horrible experience. I'm glad you went on to have your family and it's lovely you still think of your lost LO.

I am emotionally losing it I think, now the cramping is lessening - I was really angry with someone on the phone just now. He kinda deserved it but it was a bit out of proportion and I feel guilty for it now. Think everything is beginning to get to me now I'm not just focussing on riding the waves of physical pain.

Tiger_greeneyes

Skintchick, you're bound to feel like you do, it's normal and natural to feel distraught - a miscarriage is no less than a bereavement than any other kind.

Believe me, you're not losing it, you're grieving. Why don't you consider a little memorial service for your baby?

GracieP

skintchick wrote: »

I am emotionally losing it I think, now the cramping is lessening - I was really angry with someone on the phone just now. He kinda deserved it but it was a bit out of proportion and I feel guilty for it now. Think everything is beginning to get to me now I'm not just focussing on riding the waves of physical pain.

It's natural to lose it a bit at this point. I don't know if you saw my post on the ttc thread last week where I completely lost it and smashed a plate, because I thought I might be ovulating and my dh didn't want to get himself up the stairs and impregnate me right there and then.:o It will pass, but I think you need to crack up a bit before you can get better. (Or at least that's what I'm telling myself since the plate incident.)

mhe

Following the births of 2 children i had 2 late miscarrages at 17 weeks both times and both were missed. The deaths of the babies were picked up by scan - both times i felt something was wrong. Went on to have a third child but it was quite a stressful feeling that time. I coped by not looking at the scan when they showed it to me as i didnt want to bond with the image only for it to be taken away from me again IYSWIM. Both babes were buried in a plot with other members of my family and we go to take flowers at xmas and on their due dates. I have photos of them that were taken by the hospital staff that i will always treasure.

Mrs_Ryan

*hugs to everyone*

what a lovely thread - thank you SC.

I am 27 (28 on Saturday though :j ) and I have lost 5 precious babies, the first one at 19 and my last one in early May - it would have been due early December, just after the time of my most traumatic miscarriage. That was the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me - I really felt pregnant and I was so happy, but I miscarried alone on a cold bathroom floor on a Saturday morning in November.I think its true what they say what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger, as it has. I went to see a medium/psychic person not long after and he said to me, 'just remember your child will be growing up around you, they will always be there.' whixh is a lovely thought and it is so true, I think.

My SIL has just had a baby and I cried so much when I saw it.... I keep thinking maybe the pain will lessen but it seems everywhere I look I see pregnant women or new babies.... its really difficult...

SC, graciep is quite right. You do need to crack up a bit - I lost it spectacularly in silence after my last miscarriage which was the hardest way to do it - go let it out.

*hugs*

Mrs R xx

Bitsy_Beans

To all you ladies I wish to send you a big hug. I had my one and only m/c this time last year. I was only 7 weeks along but I suprised myself with how sad I felt about it, one year on. I was lucky enough to conceive again immediately and I have a beautiful daughter who I wouldn't change for the world. However it didn't stop me thinking about the baby I never had.

Skintchick - you are allowed to lose it. You are grieving for your loss so be kind to yourself.

searching_me

hiya ladies been sat here readin and its making me think of my experince i didnt have a m/c i had an ectopic pg... scan at 10am and surgery at 2pm to have it removed or the way i feel about it ripped out... i know it would of never survived and it could of killed me if it had stayed any longer it happened on the 12th of may and i was 8 weeks gone... we'd been trying for about 1 year but 6 month properly eg taking folic acid and eating healthy ... i spent most my time crying and it was my birthday a week or so after the op so it wasnt one i really remember or if i can be honest really dont want to remember... i did my best to pick myself back up but all it took was a baby or baby clothes in a shop and id be set off again, about a month ago i was going shopping for clothes for a 18month old and didnt really think about it til i saw the new born clothes and that was it all i wanted to do was cry in the middle of the store but i didnt and i thought to myself i have to face this and i continued.. hurt like hell but i did it... i would of been due in december on my DD5 original due date (she was 6 days late) but at least i have her to keep my mind off it....
all i say is cry scream shout get it all out... it hurts and you think what could of been... ive stopped trying as i keep putting extra pressure on myself to get pg and i honestly thing i very early m/c last month and i just cried all day i decided i couldnt keep doing this to myself dont get my wrong if i was pg tomorrow there would be no words to describe how i would feel but til that day...
i hope all you ladies are ok and go on to have happy healthy baby as we all so deserve take care of yourself and cry if you need to, talk if you need to and hug the ones you love when things get tough xxx

GracieP

Did anybody else find that their first period after a mc was very different. A couple of days ago my boobs started hurting, which they normally do 5-10 days before AF, so I assumed it was on it's way. Since then I've started to feel a heaviness and cramping in my abdomen, but it is subtly different to my usual cramps and feels more like when I was pregnant. And I've started to feel the beginning of a pain in my breastbone which I felt just before my nausea hit.

The thing is I absolutely can not be pregnant as we haven't bd'd since my mc. So I'm wondering if maybe my hormones are still screwed up and are causing me to feel a sort of shadow symptoms. Like my uterus is kind of wrung out from the mc, so my cramps are going to feel odd, that kind of thing. Either that or I'm having a phantom pregnancy, which will suck beyond belief.:o

galvanizersbaby

GracieP wrote: »

Did anybody else find that their first period after a mc was very different. A couple of days ago my boobs started hurting, which they normally do 5-10 days before AF, so I assumed it was on it's way. Since then I've started to feel a heaviness and cramping in my abdomen, but it is subtly different to my usual cramps and feels more like when I was pregnant. And I've started to feel the beginning of a pain in my breastbone which I felt just before my nausea hit.

The thing is I absolutely can not be pregnant as we haven't bd'd since my mc. So I'm wondering if maybe my hormones are still screwed up and are causing me to feel a sort of shadow symptoms. Like my uterus is kind of wrung out from the mc, so my cramps are going to feel odd, that kind of thing. Either that or I'm having a phantom pregnancy, which will suck beyond belief.:o

My first period last month after the ERPC was heavier with more symptoms but I was expecting that as was warned by the consultant.
ERPC 'sort of hoovers out the womb' so to speak but with a natural miscarriage I am not too sure - I would imagine however that it might take a bit longer to get back to normal hormones wise.
Did you have a scan to confirm that you had a complete miscarriage?

milliebear00001

Hi Gracie

It really varies a lot how fast the pregnancy hormones leave your body after a mc. If you had a natural mc, you should have been checked over to make sure nothing was left behind. If there was, then it can take longer for everything to work through, and the hormones to drop back to zero.

If it's a while since the mc, it's likely that your body is just getting back to normal and still working everything though. It's unlikely that there are still prgnancy hormones, but not impossible at this stage.

Hope everything gets back to normal soon for you (physically at least!) x