HELP : Mother-in-Law at Xmas!

zingbah_2

well done on little bump dude.

just want to add that i hate family fudes they seem to rule and ruin every aspect of family occasions.

and why does christmas have to always bring hassel >:(

robnye

i thought you said you where planning to start a family next year..... i know just practising this year.... he he  ;D


anyway

[move]CONGRATULATIONS[/b][/move]

jellyhead

congratulations lillibet :-)

have you told the family or are you keeping it to yourself for a while?

elona

Congratulations lillibet

Now you know that you are pregnant it is even more important that you avoid stress as much as you can.

The best of luck with your pregnancy - as far as morning sickness is concerned I used to be sick any time of day all through the day - my twin daughters were fine though.

Just try to eat anything that you fancy and that can keep down and do not worry too much about healthy food as at this time anything that you can keep down is healthy.

elona

Margaretclare

I have just read your last message and found it heartwarming how happy and openhearted you are.

Your husband sounds lovely - is it something about engineers? Mine is really thoughtful and kind but would be horrified to hear me say so. He used to be in engineering and now advises on NVQ's in engineering field.

Your christmas day sounds lovely.

We are still in the midst of children ( youngest 10 yrs)
so it will be hectic but fun.

culpepper

Lillibet congratulations on the bub!!!
We dont get on with my mum at all..long boring story
and so havent seen her in 16 years and no plans to either.
I think you are right to say no. Who wants to spend Xmas feeling awkward?
We visit FIL about once a year,he is completely uninterested in his grandchildren and has never so much as hugged one of them to my knowledge. Conversation revolves around small talk and gossip which Im afraid is tedious, while kids and their cousins try and amuse themselves with a video provided by one of the Aunties. There is a mad rush for the door once somebody has thought up a good excuse to go home

Hope to be a MIL myself one day and would hate to impose on family just because I was someones mum.

margaretclare

Hi all

Elona, thanks very much for the kind comments. I think a lot of it is, we now know what we have enough to value it. We also don't know how long it will last. Certainly we know we won't see a Silver Wedding, so we do celebrate every anniversary (3rd one just coming up).

I had 5 years' widowhood, loneliness coupled with redundancy and struggling to survive financially. No one at home when I got in to say 'I've put the kettle on, how was your day?' Nobody who cared a good goddamn whether I'd had a b**** awful day except people who were too far away. In fact, the very first time he phoned me after our first email contacts, the first thing he said was 'how was your day?' It was so gentle and caring, and that was when I fell in love with him.

He had 2 marriages, the second one was literally the fire after the frying-pan, but both of them took him completely for granted and just made use of him as a provider. He's a very affectionate, touchy-feely sort of guy who does love his cuddles and just holding hands means an awful lot to him. He has to feel warm, loved and appreciated - he didn't in earlier marriages but now he does. We're friends, lovers, companions, and we spend ages just talking to each other. BTW we're being interviewed and photographed tomorrow for a 'Daily Express' feature on the announcement yesterday about the mandatory retirement age being phased out.

I don't know why Christmas should be so stressful and such a fraught time for many people, but it's a fact - marriages break up, there's more domestic violence and certainly there'll be more debt to follow. I think it's all down to the fact that expectations are far too high. There is this rosy 'Disney-type' image which no doubt started with the Victorians and has been fuelled by Hollywood and apparently all the extra spending we're expected to do is all that's keeping the economy going!!

But when you look at it calmly, people who don't necessarily get on all that well are expected to be all together and have an artificially-jolly time, not just for the 2 or 3 hours that a party might last, but be in each other's hair for a whole day, overnight, or even several days like this year, when it's going to drag on over a weekend plus Bank Holiday days added on.

Just because you are related to people doesn't necessarily mean that you have much to say to each other. People go different ways. And too often it seems that if you are thrown together artificially for a long period of time, old grievances get brought up and gone over ad infinitum. I have had some pretty miserable Christmases in the past when this sort of thing happened, I can tell you. That's why now that I have the chance to do what I want to do, what my husband and I both like and not what is 'expected' or 'traditional', that's just what we do.

We're going to a carol service on Sunday not at our church as usual, but at the animal sanctuary we helped raise money for at the charity dinner on Monday evening. They do it in a barn, you sit on straw bales, and they bring the animals out, the rescued donkeys etc. Should be fun!

Aunty Margaret

elona

I have not heard from anyone on this topic for a while and feel as if I know you so would love to know how you all get on over Christmas.

Have a good time and Merry Christmas ;D ;D ;D

christmas_donkey

Well I phoned my mother yesterday to ask what she is doing for christmas. She told me she was going to my cousins, apparently she didnt want to go (a bit of friction with her sister I am told is holding her back) but they wouldnt hear of her not coming.

I just told her, i just wanted to check she was going somewhere and not staying on her own.

Mom has been to her sisters a couple of times this year, due to a couple of family bereivements and i know she moans about what a bad set of children she has..... now why wasnt I suprised when this year I didnt get a single christmas card from her side of the family?

I shant bother next year. It just hurts when people only get one side of events and judge people on them.

elona

:)I know it is hurtful when you feel other people are judging you harshly but once her side of the family have experienced her in all her glory and have been made to feel unkind etc by her I am sure that eventually the penny will drop and they will understand the situation better.

Please don't let it spoil your Christmas - you all deserve better than that.

It will be interesting to see what people's opinions are after the holiday season and if certain"martyrs" have been shown in their true light. Good Luck