HELP : Mother-in-Law at Xmas!

Caterina

Caterina - after reading of your supposed many shortcomings I could not beleive one of them was supposed to be housekeeping and cooking deficiency - just from the threads that you have posted you knock delia into a cocked hat and make Kim and Aggie look like amateurs.

Well, I am not a terrific housekeeper, insofar I take care more about people's company and happiness, food and cheer than dust under the dresser..... also I do not do flowery and chintzy so she will always find fault.

Never mind, she is gone now and for once my husband has fully realised how unpleasant she is so I have the Perfect Excuse not to be there if she ever comes back.

Thanks all and best wishes to all of us who STILL have to endure unpleasant family members...

Merry Xmas (my Xmas cheer is slowly coming back!!!! ;D ;D ;D)

Caterina

christmas_donkey

It appears to me, that those of us who are going through such a miserable time with our nearest and dearests (cough, cough) are grown adults. We have as much right to be spoken to in a civil way as the rest of the world. Think of the playground thing, if you are treated nastily, we either complain to our parents/teachers etc or avoid them like the plague. We are forcing ourselves to go through situations where we are verbally challenged (bullied) and because we are 'polite' and 'nice' we just put up with it which doesnt break the cycle.
It appears that my mother isnt going to my cousins after all. My daughter went round the other night, and mom has told my cousin she isnt coming (she didnt tell him why though - it was this unpleasantness with my aunt). I told my daughter to tell her she is still invited for xmas dinner, but she declined apparently.

Now I could crawl once again and ask her if she wants to come (I say crawl because I have asked her once, and was rejected), but I havent yet decided what to do.

Edinburghlass_2

Don't do it.

You have given the invitation twice and that should be enough. If she wants to sit at home and stew, let her. Is there a way you can ask your daughter to pop round with a plate of something?

I used to have to work on Christmas Day and laterly used to go out to Mum's on Christmas Eve with a dinner on a plate that she could pop in the microwave and she could then enjoy her day in front of the telly.

Having your mother round will not just upset you but hubby too and then the atmosphere transfers to the kids as well.

christmas_donkey

I didnt read your repolies to my thread, but i phoned her anyway. She declined and started winging about my other auntie. Anyway, i have been on cherry brandy since i rang her and wished now i hadnt.

Savvy_Sue

I didnt read your repolies to my thread, but i phoned her anyway. She declined and started winging about my other auntie. Anyway, i have been on cherry brandy since i rang her and wished now i hadnt.

Don't let it get to you. If you hadn't rung you'd be wishing you had, and you'd still need the cherry brandy. You have tried, she is trying in the wrong sense ...

May your nearest be dearest and do the right things for you.

jaybee

I hope you all survive the day!

Just grabbing a few mins peace on here before the Ayatollah (ie my mother) arrives and the emotional blackmail and sarcasm begins. :-/ :-X

margaretclare

Hi all, a very Happy Christmas and a peaceful and healthy New Year.

That said....

Caterina, I am so sorry, your post describing in heartfelt detail the story of your aunt-from-hell. As I'm married to a man whose grandparents were all immigrants, her words about 'foreigners taking over' resonated strongly. And I grew up as the daughter of a single mum half a century or so ago when single mums were treated very very badly, as well as their offspring. I shudder to think there are people who think that's how it should be.

My Christmas started at midnight when my husband came to bed telling me I'm a goose for buying him a Christmas card and writing nice words in it. 'A goose, but a very lovable goose' and this morning he woke saying 'you're beautiful'.

We had orange juice, scrambled egg and smoked salmon for Christmas Day b/fast, this is 'our' tradition, what we do. And then a phone call from my daughter in south Leeds telling me it was snowing! And wishing me all the best for Christmas. I phoned a dear friend (she'd been my younger daughter's matron-of-honour and then later she was mine too - she always sends a lovely flower-card from Guernsey, very special, and I wanted to thank her. She's going to her mother's for Boxing Day and is dreading it. All the things that every one of you has said - that's her mother!!!

I phoned my half-brother from Liverpool - he's in Dorset visiting relatives. A dear, dear man - I only found him 3 years ago, wish we'd known each other all those years. Lovely...

Barry and I went down to the nature reserve on the estuary, bright sunshine, tide just on the turn and starting to go out as we were there, lots of birds...

And we've just had a lovely meal, Barry is sleeping it off!!! Sherry, avocado, leg of lamb, cabbage, jacket potato, mint jelly, white wine, then melon with cinnamon, and coffee. Barry has warned me he isn't feeding me again until this time tomorrow!!! Well, I won't want it. Especially as I really am succeeding in losing weight at last, at last, and the only reason is simply eating less, and less often.

We're going to watch the Pink Panther film soon, and fall about laughing. We've seen it before, but it's so, so funny.

All the soaps are putting on big Christmas long episodes, but IMHO they are getting really unpleasant. All the decorations, the glittery lights in the background, and people chucked out of their homes, robbed, killed...not my idea of fun and entertainment.

With very, very best wishes to all

Aunty Margaret

Caterina

Aunty Margaret,

you sound like a truly wonderful person and the warmth of your kindness shines through your posts!

I got dragged out at 7 am by the kids to go and open the presents and we had the breakfast they prepared (toast & jam), this is our tradition and also the bargaining tool that will get us up at that unholy hour, if no brekkie, no prezzies (baaad mum that I am ).

We all loved the presents, I got the CD soundtrack of Bridget Jones 2 and a wonderful organic rose face cream from husband, a lime scented candle from my daughter and a set of aromatherapy beauty stuff from my son and I am delighted!

The kids loved their TK Maxx trendy (bargain) stuff and husband adored his prezzies too, mainly old music (Ry Cooder, Led Zeppelin).

Then back to bed and got up at 2 pm (SLOVENLY MARE YEHHAAHHH - because I'm worth it ;D) and then out to see neighbours for a drink - and bad ol' me even smoked a few cigs (but only today, no more, I swear!).

Then out for a nice (not too long) walk through the deserted streets of London with my husband.

Now back home, to cook dinner - asked family to tidy kitchen if they want me to step in and do my thing and all my little slaves are slaving in tidying while I popped in here, officially to refresh my memory of how to make Yorkshire pudding, really just to have a good old nosey at what is going on in the board!

All in all, I am a very very happy girl and I love the world (the 2 glasses of cava at the neighbours' help a lot, too ;D). Off I go now, to do my duty of mother and housewife hehehehehehehhehhehehhehehehehehehehe!

Ciao all and lots of love

Caterina

elona

I have had a lovely day as well - everyone loved their presents( all special deals from this site) and we all enjoyed ourselves.

This is the least stressed I have ever been and I hope you are all managing to enjoy the day despite the trials and tribulations.

VickyA_2

Well, my brother phoned from Australia yesterday morning and it was raining. Ha. Serves him right for missing a family Christmas!

My parents always have a couple of people around for drinks on Christmas morning before they go to their relatives for a mince pie. It's nice that some things never change.

My dad and I then went to pick Grandma up from her house (all of 200 yards away) and loaded up the boot of the car with presents. We then drove (as we do every year!) to visit my grandfather's grave in the village churchyard. He died in 1976, so I never knew him, but I get to chat to him every Christmas Day. My dad said that he'd be proud of me. Too damn right he would. I'd be his only grand-daughter! ;D

By the time we got back, Grandpa had driven from his house - one mile away - with all his presents. He'd won a beautifully decorated Christmas cake at his local church Christmas raffle. (Christmas tree, snow covered church - all in icing sugar!)

The only thing with Grandma (paternal grandmother) and Grandpa (maternal grandfather) is that they're both deaf and each one tries to out do the other with what they've done. etc etc. It's quite tiring. But nothing so tiring as listening to Grandpa snoring after lunch! Gosh, it was painful. Bless him.

So, after watching the end of "Goodbye Mr Chips" and sobbing my heart out - there should be a health warning on it - I announced that I was going to "check my e-mails!"

My boyfriend is turning up tomorrow after his family Christmas today. It's his nephew's first Christmas, so he didn't want to miss it. It'll be nice to have someone else other than the dog and cats to talk to!

Merry Christmas everyone!