HELP : Mother-in-Law at Xmas!

christmas_donkey

My day was spoiled by my sister in law of all people. She came last night to drop off gifts. She rang me this morning to complain that I hadnt sent her eldest daughter a gift or card.

I politely explained that I had posted her card last week and the reason behind not buying her a gift was that she is 26 years of age, with a family of her own. We never see her, although she is remembered with fondness. I told her, her brother took charge of the gifts this year and if she wanted to complain to him then it was up to her.

I got my husband to ring her later, and he explained much what I said. I think they have made up since, but I am annoyed with her. How far do you go with this buying lark? Its a farce!!!!

Anyway, the day has gone nicely apart from that, but its a shame something had to spoil it.

VickyA_2

My day was spoiled by my sister in law of all people.  She came last night to drop off gifts.  She rang me this morning to complain that I hadnt sent her eldest daughter a gift or card.

I politely explained that I had posted her card last week and the reason behind not buying her a gift was that she is 26 years of age, with a family of her own.  

That is awful! My godparents and other "peripheral" relatives stopped giving me presents when I was 18. I didn't expect anything from them anyway as they had their own large families to buy presents for. No one should ever expect a present. Surely thinking of people at this time of year through a card is more than enough?

Sofa_Sogood

My day was spoiled by my sister in law of all people.  She came last night to drop off gifts.  She rang me this morning to complain that I hadnt sent her eldest daughter a gift or card.

I politely explained that I had posted her card last week and the reason behind not buying her a gift was that she is 26 years of age, with a family of her own.  We never see her, although she is remembered with fondness.  I told her, her brother took charge of the gifts this year and if she wanted to complain to him then it was up to her.

I got my husband to ring her later, and he explained much what I said.  I think they have made up since, but I am annoyed with her.  How far do you go with this buying lark?  Its a farce!!!!

Anyway, the day has gone nicely apart from that, but its a shame something had to spoil it.

My husband went to a funeral this week.

The vicar said:

I want you to give ****** (the deceased's name) a present, and the present I want you to give them are your love and affection. Because the present given with love and affection is a gift. But a present given with no love and affection is a 'give a way'.
Maybe that's true at Christmas as well as funerals?

I took that to read that it's easy to 'give' as at funerals and Christmas as it's "expected"?

Surely a card written with love and affection is just as priceless (in this throw away world) as a present?

Just a thought.

Have a nice Christmas and don't let other people detract from it.



P.S. On an 'unreligious outlook', if someone rang me to complain about so and so not getting a card/gift I'd just put the phone down and feign illness/weather/falling trees etc etc.

Don't dwell on such things. Let the people who are moaning and groaning dwell on it. They usually thrive on such things.

Good luck and sorry for mentioning funerals at Christmas. x

Bossyboots

We had a really nice Christmas Day. MIL rang in the morning when I was in the shower so hubby just told her we would see her for a little while this afternoon.

I thought the start of the day might be a bad omen but all was well.  I got up first and went downstairs and stood in something wet at the bottom on the stairs!  I put the lights on and discovered the dog had been sick at various places around the house.  I cleared all that up and made a cup a tea.  Hubby came down and I told him about the dog who was then sick again.   After clearing that up I remembered I had not put the Christmas tree lights on and went to do so.  That was where I discovered the cause of the dog's stomach problems!

We have a board across the room to stop him getting down one end.  The reason for that is because his sight is failing and we need to contain him for safety.  Anyway during the night he had managed to scale the board (He is a Yorkshire Terrier).   He had then got under the Christmas tree and pulled HIS OWN presents out.  He had ignored all the chocolate presents but destroyed the wrapping on a couple of others by climbing over them.  He had then managed to tear the paper off a pack of doggie chocolate buttons, finally got the plastic broken (there are teeth marks all over the bag) and then scoffed a load.  He had then got back over the board and then been sick.  I couldn't really be cross with him because it was just so clever and so funny. He is 16 years old and has never raided the tree before.  We were just cracked up at the sight of his presents which had been well buried now sitting proudly at the front of the tree.  Mind you there were chocolate drops spread in a trail across the floor.

Anyway after all that everything went well.  

We'll see if MIL can put a downer on things later but hubby only wants to be there a couple of hours and we have to collect our daughter from work so there can be no coercion to stay.

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the holiday.

christmas_donkey

Bossyboots, you have one heck of a clever dog there.

jellyhead

bossyboots, our cat did that one year when i was small. she ate all the chocs off the xmas tree and my sister got the blame. mum felt really guilty when the cat started being sick with bits of foil wrapping in it - ick!! sister has never forgotten it and mentions it every xmas lol!

margaretclare

Hi all, and Caterina, thank you so much for the kind words about me.

We woke to a thin covering of white everywhere - we still don't know if there was a thin scattering of snow or if it was just a very hard white frost. Whatever, the wildlife pond is frozen over!!

It's a beautiful cold bright and sunny Sunday here. And we have been to church, for a very simple and meaningful Communion service. I prayed for all of you, all the lovely young people who don't deserve the nastiness and the carping and backbiting from family members. All our family know we don't do presents. That's it, we don't. Reason: there are just too many of them, and of the younger ones, all of their parents are working and are one heck of a lot better off than we are. I started one year sending flowers-by-post to all the daughters-in-law and stepdaughters....but I rarely got a thank-you, so I don't do even that now. but I do think it's the height of rudeness and just pig-ignorance to have a complaint that you haven't bought an adult niece a present! A present should be unexpected, as the vicar said at the funeral, a gift is something different. And we can all give a gift, of love, sympathy and kindness. So I remembered you all in my prayers this morning in church, even though we'll never meet and I only know you by nicknames. And then when you think of all the eating and drinking, the falling-out, the wastefulness, all the rest of it, and you remember the present disaster in south-east Asia....well, it does just make you wonder.

Best wishes to all

Aunty Margaret

elona

Margaret_clare

I have just read your message and as always you put everything into perspective.

I am very grateful for my daughters and my husband and the fact that we are all well and happy and actually all love and care for each other. You cannot put a price on that.

Everyone loved their presents but that was because they were exactly what was liked and wished for - in a personal rather than moneyspending way.

I did save a lot of money through this site but that enabled me to get what was really appreciated rather than just throw money at the season.

I escaped the TYRANNY OF THE TURKEY this year as we did not have one. Every Christmas used to revolve around that blasted bird and when it eventually ended up on the table no one liked it. It cast a real gloom over the next few days as we knew the foul thing would have to be finished up and no matter what I did to it we never really enjoyed it.
I had the best Christmas dinner for ages.

WE had roast potatoes and lots of vegetables-
Daughters had scampi, Dad had chicken pie, Grandad had steak pie, I had chicken wrapped in bacon and spices etc.

It was actually easier putting several different meat or fish items in the oven than slaving over a gigantic fowl and everybody enjoyed the meal.

I was able to relax and spend time relaxing and opening presents while enjoying the delight of my ten year old.

A stressless Christmas day! Yahoo!

nearlyrich

I have just been reading this thread with the after comments, good to see that people have been pleasing themselves a little. You don't have to do anything you don't want to just because it's Christmas. My friend has 3 children who don't like turkey, so they had spicy chicken with roast potatoes and baked beans for lunch yesterday. She is a little smug now because she has no leftovers to eat up. I am off for a sandwich, turkey I think, but I do like it, honest.

margaretclare

Hi Elona and all

Yes, I agree with you about the 'tyranny of the turkey'. Can't imagine why everyone gets so hung up about that particular bird. As one of the 'grumpy old women' was saying on TV, you need an industrial-size oven to cook it, just for one day of the year!!!

It's worth remembering that the turkey is more an American tradition for Thanksgiving - it was never particularly a tradition in the UK where it would probably be goose or beef. Certainly I never saw a turkey for any of my childhood Christmases. One year we were so poor, we had a rabbit!!

It's fine if you like it, but they are so big, what on earth do you do with it all. We had a leg of lamb and it was delicious. We had the rest of it today, as well as Barry having a sandwich of it last night. At our age we see no need to be hassled and feel obliged to fulfil other people's expectations.

Thank you to everyone for kind words. And watching BBC News 24 I have been sickened and horriified by the scale of the devastation in south-east Asia....it just passes comprehension. UK citizens will maybe have had a winter wedding and thought 'oh, we'll go to Phuket or somewhere in that region for an idyllic honeymoon'....I can't bear to think of it.

Best wishes to all

Aunty Margaret