Trying to concieve 12+M !!!

stef240377

My partner and i have been trying for 2 years and nothing has happened at all during that time. We went to the DRs who has tested me and partner, for me it came back as highly fertile i went on to have abdominal scans and an internal camera to make sure all was well and again clear. OH came back low but not impossible to do the job, his count is drastically reduced due to being on prescribed medication as he has severe arthritis of the spine. When we broach the topic with the GP or OH's consultant we are made to feel selfish that we should want a child together ( i have 3 already aged 13, 12 and 11) and are basically told if OH wants to continue to reduce the amount of pain he is in daily he must continue to take his daily meds, if he wants to be at the stage where he could be hospitalised as pain is so severe he can stop meds for a while to see if anything happens but it takes 3 months for the meds to be out of his system. We are now at the stage where we are getting resigned to the fact it wont happen for us. The Gp did mention we would be candidates for IVF but that we would have to wait another year and then join the list apart from this we have had no other encouraging information and dont know what to do next.

gemmaj

I finally conceived and kept my DD after 1 year 4 months of trying (with probably 2 v. early miscarriages in this time), so DON'T GIVE UP! It does happen!

BTW, hope this isn't TMI, but I conceived while on holiday and I think it may have had something to do with I normally get up after s*x and go to the loo, but this time I just lay there after (should have thought of that a lot earlier!!). This was after starting fertility tests that showed no probs with OH. Maybe thats all I needed to do to begin with! Sorry again if TMI!

But anyway, just posting to say keep your hopes up!

jellyhead

feelinggood do you often miss a period? I used to miss them all the time while TTC (it took 3 years) and got diagnosed with PCOS. There are treatments for women with PCOS so it may be worth considering.

I'm not TTC, but am broody which is probably why I looked at this thread lol! I'm getting a coil remove and replace this month, and it's started me thinking about having a baby instead of a new coil, but my OH doesn't want one so it's just wishful thinking on my part lol!

Missing periods is awful, especially if your hormones go haywire and you end up with lots of pregnancy symptoms. It may be worth seeing your GP about further tests. Possibly just fluke but after 3 years of trying I got pregnant immediately after a laparoscopy (for endometriosis). The consultant said my next step would have been ovarian drilling for the PCOS, which can help with conception/ovulation.

nottslass_2

stef240377 wrote: »

We are now at the stage where we are getting resigned to the fact it wont happen for us. The Gp did mention we would be candidates for IVF but that we would have to wait another year and then join the list apart from this we have had no other encouraging information and dont know what to do next.

Did your GP explain why you would have to wait another year ?

In our area you don't get funding for IVF if either of you have children,so our only option is to go private ( like you OH has low sperm count)

Is it an option to go private ? we have only had to wait about 6 weeks for an appointment,but at least we'll should have an idea what our options are and our chances will be !!!

stef240377

Notslass - Thinkit is because of the meds OH is on, He has not gone into detail about why so i am imagining that they want to stablilise OH's pain before going any further. He has said though we would be eligible for IVF under the circumstances of partners disability through the NHS. Perhaps we have to meet their criteria i am not sure. What i do know though is when start asking questionss regarding how long we should wait etc and the fact nothing is happening naturally we seem to fel as though we are being pushed out the door. Have asked duty DRs if anything can be done when our own is away and they say they wont discuss something our GP is aware of.

nottslass_2

Hi stef, Sorry to hear that you appear not to be getting anywhere with your GP - I can imagine your frustration !!

Perhaps when your GP is back you should make another appointment , BUT why not write down all your questions before you go and tick them off as he answers them ! Me thinks its time to get assertive.lol. Remember your GP is paid from public money to provide YOU with a service !!!

stef240377

Its not an issue about time as my GP doesn't operate on a revolving door system he will sit down and listen to you. I just think he sees my partners health as more of an issue than bringing another child into the equation, where as we know his health will deteriorate over time hence wanting to do something about it sooner rahther than later as eventually he will reduced to using walking aids permentantly and not get the joy of pushing pram, trips to the park etc.

Katyag

Its heartbreaking when ttc takes so long. We tried for baby #2 for 3 years then we made the decision to stop as it was destroying us both. I went on the pill to forget about it for a few months but it made my periods hellish, i came off it and fell pregnant straight away!

I had weird cycles before going on the pill so it makes me wonder had i gone on it for a few months years before i might have fallen pregnant a lot quicker! Either way we have our gorgeous boy now, hes 13 months and we are considering #3 but we dont know when to start ttc again in case it takes a long time again or i fall quickly.

Good luck to everyone trying!

mrcow

stef240377 wrote: »

We are now at the stage where we are getting resigned to the fact it wont happen for us. The Gp did mention we would be candidates for IVF but that we would have to wait another year and then join the list apart from this we have had no other encouraging information and dont know what to do next.

Did you have your tubes flushed when you had your investigations done?

stef240377

MRCOW- no i didnt a camera was inserted the whole way along and everything was seen to be normal i did ask whether i would benefit from a D&C but was told it was not necessary, i had one done a few years ago as were having problem periods but again they said at the time it was not necessary they just did it to rule it out.