MSE Parent Club - Part 2

Sami_Bee

Curious_George wrote: »

Nov 07 mum here... and i said NEVER again, and meant it
but here i am 13 months later brooding over how gorgeous the boy is and how much i want to have more children with my fantastic OH,
but i cant do it.... i just cant, having Danny nearly finished me off!
i would have loads of babies if i just didnt have to be pregnant to do it,
which sounds mad as i actually love certain bits of being pregnnat, i love the special feeling, i LOVE the bump, not caring if my tummy is sticking out...im not fat...im preggo etc
all the kicks, nudges and the feeling of creating something amazing with my future husband

then... theres the all day 9 month long "morning" sickness, the chronic heartburn, the acid reflux, the loosening of joints, the stretch marks, the bladder weakness, the fact i cant sleep for the last 6 months, the fact that he was breech and i needed 8.. thats EIGHT epidurals for my c section.... the afterpains....
then the really selfish stuff like the weight problems, the annoying comments from everyone, not having enough money or space, the other two feeling pushed out
ugh.

cant i just adopt?

Why don't you? we plan on becoming foster parents when bump has started school, mostly my influence because I love children and had a smooth preg n birth 1st time but from a selfish pov I don't want to do it all again. I also am a bit of a hippy sometimes and think why should I create more children when there are lots already here that need to be loved

poodlehorse

Can I gatecrash? I don't often hang about these parts but I am at my wits end with DS and couldn't think where to turn. DS is going to be 4 in Feb. Just before his 3rd birthday I started toilet training. He got the wees straight away and was dry day AND night within a week. The poos were going fine too but then he just regressed, he has got a lot better with time but he is still at the stage TEN months later that he will hold on and on and not ask to go, he just waits until he can't hold on anymore. I have tried everything I can think of and he is old enough to understand. But nothing really seems to be helping. Generally I can time things so even though he started nursery in August he has never had an accident, he CAN hold on that is not the problem, I just know that he needs to go every two days minimum and sit him on the potty after nursery or before bed until he does something, the other thing he does is just sit there and wait for things to happen, it can be an hour easily. He has eventually got the idea about pushing but that is only recently but he used to push in his nappy. He HATES the idea of a nappy or easyups so that is a nogo. I have also had to start giving him the odd dose of Lactolose as he has held on for so long it is sore to come out. Nothing I say or do is working and I am concerned as he goes to school in August and at this rate I can see him having a poo accident there. It wouldn't be so bad but he will be in a composite 1/2 class so there will be older kids there too. Other than the old chestnut time can anyone give me any ideas to move things along so to speak? He is quite stubborn (don't know who he gets that from) but has no problems physically or anything else that I know of. He used to be regular once a day at least when he was in nappies. He eats well enough. I had to leave him until 3 to TT as we were living in our house while being renovated and I didn't have a shower or bath or indeed kitchen sink for a while so cleaning up after accidents would have been difficult to say the least, I wonder if I left him too long. IT is getting me down so much and I could just cry or scream about it but neither is going to help him. Anyone had a similar problem? Every other child I know seems to have taken to TT so much better although maybe not dry through the night yet, DS has to be an individual LOL and be dry night and day but still have problems with poo. HELP!

Sami_Bee

Poodle; have you seen your doctor or HV about it? I have a friend of a friend so don't know full details but I remember that her little boy was similar he would hold a poo in for ages and only give it up when his body gave him no choice, generally while screaming the place down. She got help from the GP but I can't remember what it was but i know he is at school and no longer is so uptight about it. She was told its a problem that happens often with boys in particular - I hope I don't have it with my lil boy

poodlehorse

I haven't really been to see either, I did get the lactolose from the locum GP and at that point it was still seen as early days and "normal" but I am getting to the point where I think I should see someone, trouble is GPs seem to be useless and the HV - well you can never get to see her and nothing is ever a problem, just time will sort it all out. Maybe true but my nerves can't take it LOL. To be fair he has come a long way since Feb and he may indeed by August have sorted it out himself but I think it is maybe time to seek medical advice in case there is something else going on. I do believe boys are a problem (this is my first so I have nothing to compare it to) and I have friends who had similar problems but they didn't seem to take quite so long to right themselves. I have heard boys tend to think they are letting go of a part of themselves and so won't do it, and a friend took her DS to the loo to flush away the poo and wave bye bye before it went to see the fishes (don't know if he eats fish now though ROFL) but I tried that and it didn't work, also DS started off doing everything on the loo with a trainer seat but ever since he saw daddy standing to wee he did that and THAT is the time when he regressed with #2s and refused to sit on the loo and we now have to give him a potty. Maybe if he hadn't been in a rush to stand, that is the trouble with him being older and tall though, he was big enough to do it. Groan. At least he only occasionally has got to the crying cos it is sore stage, generally they look healthy enough (too much information sorry) and not too soft or hard, just wish he would tell me - he knows when it is happening cos I can catch him holding his bum with his hand trying to keep them in there LOL. And I have explained that that is the time he should be asking, often I think he just doesn't want to take the time out of his day, especially as he sits there for ages, I think in the hols I am going to not remind him but try seeing what happens if I leave him or maybe I should just put him on for max 10 mins and take him off and then again. Maybe he thinks he HAS to stay there for that long. Worth a try, does mean I am stuck in the house a lot from Friday though. What do you think?

carol9uk

hi all, ive got another question/advice. thinking of starting my son on baby rice from next week when he will be five months, as other babies hes age as sleeping through from 7/8 and he doesnt its more like 11. he is also watching everyone when we eat. i know the lastest advice is 6 months and was going to wait but OH wants to start. when did everyones little bundles start??
thanks

snugglepuss_2

Hi Carol,

We started weaning Peter at 16 weeks, a tad earlier than the 4 months minimum age that is talked about, but I chatted with our HV about it, and it seemed best to start him early as he was taking 40oz of Hungry Baby formula each day and reaching out for our food!

HTH

Sarah

poodlehorse

I did much the same as snugglepuss, DS was hungry from day one and never seemed to settle until under HV and GP advice I weaned him early. I think some babies aren't that bothered until 6 mths and others would grab the spoon out of your hand at 4 if they could. Be led by your baby. That is not to say that he will automatically start sleeping all the way through. How much is he feeding right now? Is it habit to get up for a suckle in the night do you think or actual real hunger? Is he FF or BF? And if you think it might be habit then try the Baby Whisperer Pick Up Put Down technique.

Savvy_Sue

Lu_T wrote: »

We're banking on finishing glossing by Saturday with carpets fitted on Monday. Do you think this is enough time?

I'd say borderline, very borderline ...

poodle, your DS needs to see DH sitting to poo, by the sounds of it. If DS will sit on the potty, I'd have a competition to see who can push most out ... :rotfl:

carol9uk

poodlehorse wrote: »

I did much the same as snugglepuss, DS was hungry from day one and never seemed to settle until under HV and GP advice I weaned him early. I think some babies aren't that bothered until 6 mths and others would grab the spoon out of your hand at 4 if they could. Be led by your baby. That is not to say that he will automatically start sleeping all the way through. How much is he feeding right now? Is it habit to get up for a suckle in the night do you think or actual real hunger? Is he FF or BF? And if you think it might be habit then try the Baby Whisperer Pick Up Put Down technique.

forgot to say am BF, hes also got a cold as well so that does not help, whats the baby whisperer technique/

poodlehorse

Thanks for the advice Sue but we have tried that and it didn't make a jot of difference sadly, that is the thing, I have tried so much that there isn't much I haven't done. Doesn't help that DH works away for weeks at a time so I cope with this on my own when he is away and because he hasn't been able to fix it when he comes home has more or less said he doesn't know what to do so doesn't have much to do with him in this regard when he is at home. But of course expects me to keep trying. I am just beside myself with frustration but I have just been on another site and it would seem a regime of stool softener (which I think lactulose is) is the recommended course by a doctor and that it can just be he isn't ready. I really didn't want to hear that time was the answer LOL, I guess because he will be so young to start school I am pushing him harder than I should. And there is still 8 mths to go before then. I will keep up with the lactolose a bit more regularly and see how we go through the holidays and if I see no improvement then I will take him to the doc, he might listen to her.