Grandmother moving in with me

superpup

elsien wrote: »

Sign her up for neighbourhood watch - she'll be in her element!

You also reminded me of my grandmas favourite poem. http://labyrinth_3.tripod.com/page59.html
She quotes it at me everytime I tell her she's spending my inheritance.:D

She would love neighbourhood watch! I will get her a pad and pencil and some binoculars!

That poem is brilliant. And most of the first 4 lines very applicable!

sp x

elsien

I remember the layers and layers of bedding, and not being able to turn over in bed because the bedclothes are too heavy. We bought grandma a duvet, and she's just plonked it on top of the existing layers.

With regard to my previous post, I just meant that she has other choices than just residential care, whether she is at home or with you. Although if she is lonely, she's probably thought about all that already.
And it sounds like you're really lucky to have each other.

I know what you mean about sorting stuff out. Grandma has some private letters from my grandfather ( who died years ago) which she want to hang onto as long as she can, but doesn't want anyone else to read. She's torn between whether to burn them now while she's still compos mentis, but then runs the risk of keeping fit and healthy(ish) for years to come, and regretting that she did it too soon. Lifes a beggar sometimes.

superpup

Yes, that's exactly what she'd do if I gave her a duvet!

Aw, that's so sweet re the letters. Would she trust you if you promised to burn them for her without reading them or anyone else seeing them at the right time? (although I must admit, I would find it very hard not to read them but I suppose if I'd given my word I would have to or would feel so guilty).

My Nan has always been very unsentimental and given my Granddad some stick over the years. But once he got ill, she was so loving to him. He always idolised her.

Thank you for being there tonight. It's been good 'talking' about things. I'm usually a brilliant sleeper but I get to bed at the moment and my head is buzzing with stuff.

I'm going to try and get some sleep now as I want to be on the road at 7am.

Goodnight x

jeannieblue

I never had the joy of grandparents.. I can't give you advice.

But I feel compelled to tell you that you are a lovely thoughtful caring person and I wish you and grandmother well, and hope you share some lovely times together.

I see a previous poster mentioned help the aged - I've heard that they are very helpful and full of good advice.

I wish you well, you are a lovely kind nice person - the world needs more people like you - what a great place it would be, good luck, keep us informed. x x x

superpup

jeannieblue wrote: »

I never had the joy of grandparents.. I can't give you advice.

But I feel compelled to tell you that you are a lovely thoughtful caring person and I wish you and grandmother well, and hope you share some lovely times together.

I see a previous poster mentioned help the aged - I've heard that they are very helpful and full of good advice.

I wish you well, you are a lovely kind nice person - the world needs more people like you - what a great place it would be, good luck, keep us informed. x x x

Thank you Jeannie, but that's so sad. Grandparents in my experience are wonderful gifts and everyone should have them or at least be able to borrow some occasionally . I'm hoping my baby Grandson will enjoy spending time with me when he's older. But don't get me wrong, it's not all sweetness and light. There are times I could have cheerfully throttled her (like when I bought her new oven gloves and she put them straight in the charity bag and carried on using Granddad's old pants, etc instead, and invariably burned her fingers :rolleyes: ). But it's only ever little things. And easily forgotten.

I will get in touch with help the aged. They helped my Nan a bit with form filling when I couldn't be there. They were very good and the person they sent was lovely apparently, my Nan liked her a lot.

Right, I must go to bed or I'll be napping on the M5 tomorrow!

sp x

Savvy_Sue

Only thing to say about getting the stairlift in before she arrives is that it may be difficult to assess what's best for her if she's not there, IYSWIM. Personally I'd prefer to get advice from an Occupational Therapist, rather than risk spending money on something which just didn't 'work' for her.

Good luck!

LindsayO

I live in Scotland so the exact system may vary, but i'm disabled I asked my GP if I could evaluated by an OT. I think I had to contact the local social work department.

anyway through them, I got an electric chair that lifts up because I couldn't stand up by myself, an electric bed that adjusts like a hospital bed, a wheelled walker trolley for in the house and a different one for outside. If you get a wheelled walker (rollator) I would advise getting one with four wheels rather than 3 as they are more stable. you can get one with a seat that folds down so you can walk some and then rest on the seat.

I was evaluated for a wheelchair at another centre, and got a hand propelled one but found I wasn't strong enough to propel myself.

Anyway sorry to ramble, but my point is there is help available in getting basic equipment.

LindsayO

Oh I meant to add that alot of local councils will give you a grant to adapt your house

Merrywidow

Dear Superpup, like everyone else I would like to put in my tuppence worth. I think you have a really big heart, but more to the point I hope your sanity is up to it. My mother moved from Yorkshire to Kent in her late eighties after my father died and I found sheltered housing for her because she too was very independent and I did my best to look after her by batch cooking and freezing her meals, doing her washing and ironing, shopping etc.

She deteriorated very quickly and the worst with people of that age is their instabilty resulting in falls that hospitalized her. As I had a terminally ill husband to care for I called in Social Services who were brilliant and she had carers in for breakfast, lunch and supper and to put her to bed. This became insufficient and when her eyesight failed I had to persuade her to go into a retirement home. She took it all on the chin and settled in remarkably well and although she was not keen to socialise, she has a very happy life there with the care of wonderful staff. She is now fast approaching 96 and I am convinced that has lengthened her life.

How you will manage all this on your own and hold down a job is beyond me. There were many times when I too could have throttled her, but that goes with their age, they become very introverted and selfish.

One last thing. If you decide between you to leave her in her own home and install proper help, and then if she has to go into a home anyway, she will have to sell her home to pay for this care. its all a mine field and I can guess how confused you are. As everybody else is telling you - GET ADVICE from everybody, find out what is available, but most importantly also think of yourself and your sanity. What you are contemplating is so much bigger than you can imagine.

We will all follow your progress, so keep in touch and good luck.

Buttercup.x

May of previously been mentioned why dont you try freecycle for some things rather than buy them or go on waiting lists, I doubt you'd get a stair lift though but hey never say never.

I also think you are amazing all this thought you have put into it to make her comfortable and safe! x