Marriage over don't know where to start

gerturdeanna

I believe Kizzy is back tonight - she's got a few pages to read through bless!!
It is sooo easy for them to just walk away, although I think he is finding it hard having the kids tell him they miss him down the phone, I could hear him gulp as if he was fighting back the tears - well, goood"!"!"!!!!!! About time he started feeling crap, rather than just me, the kids and everyone elses life he has f***ed up!!! GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I want to hit something so badly, the keyboard is really being battered!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pollycat

Jules
I'm sorry to hear of your problems, I'm sure you'l find some great support here from ladies who are going through the same thing.

Gert
There is no way you are at fault because of the text you sent.
As someone else has already said, you didn't hand out those pills, nor did you cause all this hurt and suffering. There are only 2 people responsible for that. If the finger of blame needs to be pointed anywhere, it's at those 2 selfish people.

I hope that with your OH moving out, you can start to look to the future.

Take care all.

trancebabe

When I split from my first husband I put my rings back in the box and packed them up with a few other momento's from that marriage for our daughter. If she doesn't want them, then I'll look into selling them but they wont be worth much in money terms... he was a cheapskate when it came to buying things for me (not that that matters when you love someone right?!)

Jules - I read your other thread and I think you're fabulous! Have you sacked the secretary of your joint company yet? Get your SOA up ASAP and watch a load of great advice come flooding back

SuziQ

Gertie I don't blame God for the mess I've made in my life-I achieved all that myself I'm afraid,he just picks the pieces up when I can't cope!

SuziQ

trancebabe wrote: »

When I split from my first husband I put my rings back in the box and packed them up with a few other momento's from that marriage for our daughter. If she doesn't want them, then I'll look into selling them but they wont be worth much in money terms... he was a cheapskate when it came to buying things for me (not that that matters when you love someone right?!)

Jules - I read your other thread and I think you're fabulous! Have you sacked the secretary of your joint company yet? Get your SOA up ASAP and watch a load of great advice come flooding back

I've done this too. I try never to trash my relationship with my childrens' father and have kept lots of photos and momentoes of happy times as I don't want them to thik they were products of misery! I also try to tell them lots of stories of happy times/outings/holidays to remind them of the good times,and that their parents did love each other once. When my first ex was stranded in Thailand in the Tsunami I couldn't believe how many people said 'bet you wish he'd perished' and meant it. How could I wish that on my kids-I sent him money,put credit on his phone and even telephoned his girlfriends (note the plural here lol!) to let them know he was ok,as he only managed to make that 1 call-and I was so pleased he made it to us so the kids knew he was ok.
My latest ex would have destroyed everything to do with is first marriage but I saved it all as his ex ceremoniously burnt all photos etc in front of their boys-even their wedding video which was the only copy,and contained film of his father who is now deceased. What message did that give the kids?
At least if they ever turn up he can show them that,despite what his mum now says,she loved their dad and vice versa.
I refuse to be as nasty and bitter as my second husbands ex (ironically she had loads of affairs and split them up-the only reason she is bitter is because he moved on and had a child with me,rather than pining away for her for ever!)

gerturdeanna

I do blame him!! And my Ex and the silly tart - what have I ever done to deserve all this?
I'm sorry but I'm very drunk and very emotional tonight - I just want him to call or even walk through the door and make things better - I know it'll never happen and I'm worried how I'm going to cope on my own with two kids - what bloke is ever going to want me with two kids in tow. Feel so !!!!!, can't stop crying...why me!!!!!! What the !!!! have I ever done!!!?!?!?!

dotstar24

gerturdeanna wrote: »

Not too sure I have done him a favour actuallyseen as he is now in intenstive care after trying to top himself with 70 pills- !!!!!! have I done! He is apparently conscious - feel so so so so so so bad now.

my nan would take overdoses infront of my mum and her brothers when they were kids. it got to the point when they would wait for her to go unconcious and go get the neighbours. when i was 3 she threw herself under a train and was killed outright.

i was told when i was 20. i was, and as a mother now myself, still am very angry at her.

your partner needs to get a grip. he has resposibilities other than his fiance. don't feel guilty. xxx

kimlisa66

Gert, its perfectly ok to lash out, you are hurting and you don't have answers to your questions.....your self-esteem is rock bottom at the moment but you are a good, loving and decent person.

You know you will cope, you have no choice, your kids need you and this is just the drink talking...I know, i've been there and done it, drank bottle after bottle of brandy after my Ex left...it achieved nothing except and empty purse, a sore head and the pain was just as bad next day.

It will pass, it does get better in time but you have to grieve for what is essentially a loss.

Be strong, tomorrow is another day and you can start again.

K xx

Skint_Lynne

Right Lady,

Pull yourself together, tomorrow is another day and you might well feel carp, but every day that passes, you will get a bit better, until one day, you will feel fantastic. You will move on with your life and something fantastic will happen to you soon enough. It's a pity that we have to have the bad times as well as the good, but that's just life.

Now you should try and lay off the booze just now, I know from experience that it just makes you feel worse. Alcohol is a depressant, so try and leave it alone, you need to be functioning for you and your wee ones. We are nursing an alcoholic in our family, you don't want to go down that road, it's not pretty. He's been in and out of hospital for a year and is moving in with my parents cause he can't be left alone. He is a high flyer too with a fantastic job which pays mega cash, so it can happen to anyone.

I hope you don't think I am lecturing you, I'm trying to help you along I do understand what you feel like, but because I understand, I know that it gets better.

Take care,

SL x

scottishfreebiehunter

Listen to all advice Gert as tonight I feel crap to little boy crying and now have him in my bed cuddling him and what the w a ! ! er all he does is walk out door
So bleeding sad and it is hurting like hell,but well tomorrow have another appointment with solicitor and wasnt going to go after his pension for now,but today with his attitude I am going to as entitled to halfxxxxxxxxx


Kizzy when you return hope you have some good news for us or at least that you had good weekend with the kids ,all crossed for you.
Gert and all night and god blessxxxxxxx

Oh and alcohol yes well been there done that and mega depressed today