Single and in debt.

Buffythedebtslayer

Sarah, seriously stop reading my mind!

I know it sounds lame but I do know how you feel - cos I feel the same way. I could have written that post. I had a great guy we'd been seeing each for a while i backed off freaked out wasn't sure, we didn't communicate this "dance" went on for ages- years! cos neither one of us would make a decision and then I think I hurt him and although he was happy to stay friends he wouldn't get involved and now I have lost him. I live in fear of walking into our local and seeing him with someone else. it breaks me up even typing that!

You aren't a rubbish mess, you just think you are and as all good self help books will tell you your thoughts are just thoughts, they are not the truth of a situation.

If you want a diet buddy, I am starting on the first of September - WW

Because I have felt and in fact still do feel like the post you wrote I don't want to say anything that sounds cliched (I can't spell that!). I just do know how you feel. And you won't feel like it forever.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ziggles50

Sarahb and Buffy welcome to my world...this is an ongoing internal dialogue that is purely self destructive, and yet continues without a break. It's even worse when one teeny tiny little thing goes wrong like spilling a cup of tea on yourself or like me this week your dear brother totalling your car. Wallowing is not a plan though it feels like it is. i bought those huge 1.5 l bottles of wine ands am drinking it like medicine, then i quit WW becasue what's the point in being miserable and still having to watch what you eat when all you wanna do is binge...yeah stupid i know but it happens anyway...once again the rational irrationality kicks in.
i would like to go back to WW so if you're all starting on 1 sept then i'm game for joining you...hey maybe there's a forum/group on here somewhere...i'll look.
anyway think about it this way there's always something you can be grateful for, like having food to binge on, and wine to drink haha!:grouphug: Hugs for all of us!

marleyboy

Likewise, I hit the bottle, I was drowning a 1/2 Litre bottle a night, it took me to walk into my kitchen from work to see the bottle bank stacked up, to realise if i didnt jack it in, id become an alcoholic. Its been 3 weeks since, I do still have the occasional glass, but nothing near as I was doing, I did it out of loneliness and despair, but in that, there are no winners but the bottle.

I repeat that its not about your weights, looks, sure all that vodka has added a couple of pounds on me.....do I care what people think of my looks. Not one bit, id rather be single than dictated to about how I look.

Ironically you consern yourself with your weight, yet dont realise that alcohol is primarily sugar!!!! defeating the goal.

Sarah the right one is just waiting around the corner for you, if you are so held up over this guy, email him or txt him, he isnt going to percieve you as a stalker, and you could be suprised, he may feel exactly the saem way about you, only he wont want to reply in case it appears HE is stalking. If he is not the one for you, dust yourself off and find the one that IS.

Buffy the same applies to you hun, albeit you seem resigned to preferring being single, in which case why worry about your figure. If you want to change your appearance you do it for yourself, not somebody else. Be proud of who you are.

Your all beautiful, wonderful ladies, and I say it from a complete outside perspective, its what comes from within that shines beauty. If one feels ugly, they appear so. So please, give yourselves something to make you smile a little, get that new dress or pair of shoes you been thinking of, instead of the bottle. The bottle soon becomes empty, the shoes may be worn again, giving you a reason to WANT to go out.

xx above all please hunnie's all of you's, have a little self respect, be proud of WHO you are. Im proud of you all.

Buffythedebtslayer

Marleyboy thanks for your kind words, I dont know where i gave the impression I was losing weight for someone else. If I did I didn't mean too. I am not! I don't like how I look so it has to change.

As far as the single thing goes, I just think its my natural state. it would take a pretty tough guy to get through to me! relationships just seem to equal pain and not being yourself? so at the moment they are not for me.

xx

marleyboy

Buffy, this is fair enough hunni, if anything your normally always held in high esteem, particularly on the MSE threads as a whole ...in other words (you got your head screwed on).

As for you choosing to remain single hun, Id agree my past would tell me that all love brought me was more pain. But that wont stop me from finding love in the future, especially if there is someone who is right somewhere out there for those who need it.

Those who prefer or are happier to be single, like your good self, it doesnt make you any less a person hun, you will still always be your good self.

I left school in a relationship (ive had 2 in my life) I have spent from then til last year content and committed. So getting used to being single wasnt something I planned or anticipated, it just happened. Im financially better off for it, and its a stress free life, but its not the kind of life I want. I accept that is just my personal opinion.

inthegreen

small update from me

I haven't managed to go for a drink on my own

I haven't listed anything on ebay, I have photographed everything and written down postage costs from the royal mail website

I did smile at 2 men in Ireland and had a report back that one of them thought I was 'fine'! bonus.

I saw my ex and despite him begging for me to take him back 3 times (he dumped me by text!!) I said no. I have gone against everything and with some very good backup from friends have joined plenty of fish and OK Cupid and have even posted a picture of me with no makeup and still got loads of e-mails. My friends sat me down and after hearing them, and feeling a lot more confident after telling the ex to b*gger off I feel great at the mo. I even lost 5 pounds that I wasn't trying to which is an added bonus.

I hope the high stays but I shall enjoy it while it lasts. If I could package it and pass it on I would. (no its not alcohol or drug induced at all!):T :T :T

A rather too cheery inthegreen

marleyboy

Good for you inthgreen , you keep smiling for us all. let your X know its his loss, since you have discovered life is so much better since he txted you.

dollydumpling

If you want a diet buddy, I am starting on the first of September - WW

- Buffy (don't know how to do the proper cut and past quote thing - sorry!).

I could do with a diet buddy Buffy if the offer is open to me too? Got lots of reasons to and no excuses not to. I swore that I wouldn't do slimming clubs again but like the idea of a virtual buddy (or two). I've lost 2 stone since January but would like to loose a lot more and 1st September sounds good to me (goes off to check best before dates on cakes in cupboard!).

DD x

Buffythedebtslayer

DD that would be great! you too Ziggles!

I want it to work this time. so don't let me back out!!

xx

dollydumpling

:j Cool :j

Weigh in chez dolly on Monday for me then.

You won't want to back out of this one Buffy; support, understanding, laughs and compassion will be the name of the game I bet - in fact I foresee people putting on weight deliberately just so they can join in!

Oh thanks so much for suggesting this, this is going to be excellent!

Bring it on!!!

DD x