Single and in debt.

Ossireo

Stick with it Buffy it will get easier and a patient instructor is worth their weight in gold. It is one of those things that only with practice it will click xx

Sarah - The Scot situation is going ok, I still keep having my insecure moments but he is very patient and just as insecure himself I guess. Saw him all last weekend and he is over next weekend, so far so good but I cant help being cautious too

eco

Hi Buffy,
Stick with the driving I've been driving 14 years now, it wasn't easy doing the lessons or the 3 tests, but it's worth it when you pass, I could never imagine having to catch the bus just to go into town, and when the instructor said I'd passed I could have run up Snowdon I was that chuffed

Ossireo

Well pretty much a mess here today, seem to be on some kind of hormone roller-coaster at the moment that has left me wondering whether I really should be trying to be in a relationship, I think maybe I should just sit in a little box somewhere so I cant upset people. Yet I was walking on air last night so happy

I seem to have this inability to just say no to people, instead I do this weird kind of full on long conversation hoping in the end they will accept I don't want something to happen, its so embarrassingly childish and I have no idea where I got it from. I also struggle when people throw changes in schedule on me (very weird).

To explain how pathetic I am... The Scot asked me to pick him up earlier then planned tomorrow, which I said I couldn't as had plans with mum to take DS + friend for food & movies. So he then asked if he could come along to the outing. Instead of saying no, its all already planned for me & mum, I went around this long route of trying to point out it would be difficult, dont want to upset mum, not sure on the timings etc etc getting myself all worked up .. to the point he is upset and I am in tears. Now I am angry at myself that something so small and irrelevant has been turned into a big deal by me and now I am in flight mode and he is telling me to stop trying to ruin it all.

Sorry to rant, I think this is the one place I don't mind making a fool of myself, I just wish writing it down would help me some how sort it out in my stupid thick noggin and stop all this sabotage

runmichellerun

Ossireo wrote: »

Well pretty much a mess here today, seem to be on some kind of hormone roller-coaster at the moment that has left me wondering whether I really should be trying to be in a relationship, I think maybe I should just sit in a little box somewhere so I cant upset people. Yet I was walking on air last night so happy

I seem to have this inability to just say no to people, instead I do this weird kind of full on long conversation hoping in the end they will accept I don't want something to happen, its so embarrassingly childish and I have no idea where I got it from. I also struggle when people throw changes in schedule on me (very weird).

To explain how pathetic I am... The Scot asked me to pick him up earlier then planned tomorrow, which I said I couldn't as had plans with mum to take DS + friend for food & movies. So he then asked if he could come along to the outing. Instead of saying no, its all already planned for me & mum, I went around this long route of trying to point out it would be difficult, dont want to upset mum, not sure on the timings etc etc getting myself all worked up .. to the point he is upset and I am in tears. Now I am angry at myself that something so small and irrelevant has been turned into a big deal by me and now I am in flight mode and he is telling me to stop trying to ruin it all.

Sorry to rant, I think this is the one place I don't mind making a fool of myself, I just wish writing it down would help me some how sort it out in my stupid thick noggin and stop all this sabotage

Ooo, I'm just like that. I overreact to things too. Big time!! And by the time I've calmed down it's usually all too late.

So if he's saying to you to stop trying to ruin it, this proves that he likes you A LOT. He knows what you're doing, and he's obviously willing to take even your bad habits and stick with you.

You're very lucky.

oxondaemonfeurer

stick with it hon, we all probably over react at the old hormone time and I too will jump in and snap etc, minsd you it doesn't help when the OH blames every argument on PMT! Life would be easier without others but it would also be alot duller...:o

Borneogirl

Ossireo wrote: »

Well pretty much a mess here today, seem to be on some kind of hormone roller-coaster at the moment that has left me wondering whether I really should be trying to be in a relationship, I think maybe I should just sit in a little box somewhere so I cant upset people. Yet I was walking on air last night so happy

I seem to have this inability to just say no to people, instead I do this weird kind of full on long conversation hoping in the end they will accept I don't want something to happen, its so embarrassingly childish and I have no idea where I got it from. I also struggle when people throw changes in schedule on me (very weird).

To explain how pathetic I am... The Scot asked me to pick him up earlier then planned tomorrow, which I said I couldn't as had plans with mum to take DS + friend for food & movies. So he then asked if he could come along to the outing. Instead of saying no, its all already planned for me & mum, I went around this long route of trying to point out it would be difficult, dont want to upset mum, not sure on the timings etc etc getting myself all worked up .. to the point he is upset and I am in tears. Now I am angry at myself that something so small and irrelevant has been turned into a big deal by me and now I am in flight mode and he is telling me to stop trying to ruin it all.

Sorry to rant, I think this is the one place I don't mind making a fool of myself, I just wish writing it down would help me some how sort it out in my stupid thick noggin and stop all this sabotage

Hello Ossireo,

I hope you don't mind me adding my thoughts on your posting, but I can so so so so so understand where you are coming from! I have been in a very similar situation.. where instead of just being assertive and saying no, I go off into a long explanation of why. What I would say though reading your situation is that this chap obviously is very keen! And the only reason he is upset is because of that. May be he needs some reassurance? But my heart really goes out to you on this because it reminded me soo much of situations I have found myself in in the past. We can't help our feelings and our - dare I say it - insecurities. I for one HATE the early stages of a relationship, all that uncertainty, and wondering if they like you, but also wanting to not dive in completely just in case etc etc.

But this is normal ! - and I for one really thank you for your posting because it has made me realise that the way i feel (and act) early in, is perfectly natural.

Hope I haven't been too nosy etc.

Ossireo

Thank you to the 3 of you. I suddenly feel a little bit more 'normal' :grouphug:

I really don't want to mess this up as he really is a fantastic fella I just wish I could stop being 'me' sometimes

marleyboy

eco wrote: »

marleyboy have you been on a dating site yet?

No nothing like that, I dont think I have the nerve for them. Saying that I am watching each of you find dates, which I think is great for you all.

I think its different for guys on those sites, were expected to be some beer bellied cyber freaks who spend all day trouncing "single" sites. fearing being "labelled" as such, I tend to give them a miss (damn my concience).

Im all for the naturist dates as mentioned, but not sure what I would wear for it.

eco

marleyboy there are loads of normal people on dating sites, most of them are just out of practice at dating and stuff like that, have a drink and give it a go

dollydumpling

Ossireo - hey there, just wanted to pop in and say hello and without wanting to sound patronising, just remind you to be kind to yourself. "stupid" "thick" and "pathetic" are pretty harsh words to use to yourself. You sound lovely, and not worthy of any of those words! I deliver assertiveness courses (amongst others!) for a living and have seen how much of an impact the words we use about ourselves can have and I bet that you would never say those things to your friends if he/she was in your situation so why say them to yourself?

Sorry, I can't quite get the words to say what I mean (I also deliver effective communication workshops - go figure!) so hope I haven't come accross badly. I just got sad reading your post and thinking of you beating yourself up for being nice and not wanting to let anyone down. Over and out before I dig myself in any deeper!