Single and in debt.

RosaBernicia

Hi normdeplume, welcome. :wave:

I think your list of gremlins is probably pretty standard, from the sound of it we all have similar worries.

I've been speed dating and while it was hilarious from the people watching perspective, it was go****n depressing if I'd been seriously expecting to meet anyone (pool included one guy with wedding ring on!!, two city boys with no social skills for anyone outside their income bracket, one complete nutter who announced that silence would be more appropriate than talking during the chat period). Actually I should admit I did meet one nice guy but it was at the end of the night and I'd had enough of dealing with fruitloops by then so wasn't hugely enthusiastic and he didn't match me. Worth a try if you are a very sociable sort, and probably good practice, but I'd suggest drag a friend along and not get expectations up too much.

Buffy -

oh I had one today who had naturism as his hobby!

... you've set me wondering where naturists go on first dates... guess the 'meet in a public place' thing is a bit difficult... :rotfl: :rotfl:

Right I need feeding, back later!
RB xx

Ossireo

Welcome NDP :hello:

To agree with my fellow SaiD posters your list is pretty standard, and sometimes you do just have to be brave putting yourself out there. I think if you can approach some sites with an open mind and not hardcore searching for someone its a good start

Anyway make yourself at home with us, we are a friendly bunch :beer:

sarahb123_3

Welcome NDP:wave:

Buffy: How did your driving course go? Did you actually sit your test?

Ossireo: How is it going with your Scot? Are you seeing him again?

Hope everyone is ok x

Buffythedebtslayer

sarahb123 wrote: »

Buffy: How did your driving course go? Did you actually sit your test?

*looks shifty*

ermmm well. monday went ok, tuesday was :eek: :eek: :eek: and actually before the lesson I was so nervous I was sick and then this morning I couldn't stop crying. I hate driving. from the bottom of my soul I hate it. I don't feel safe and I don't want to do it.

so my driving instructor who is a truly lovely woman has let me rearrange the lessons.

any tips on how to crack it?

xxx

runmichellerun

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

*looks shifty*

ermmm well. monday went ok, tuesday was :eek: :eek: :eek: and actually before the lesson I was so nervous I was sick and then this morning I couldn't stop crying. I hate driving. from the bottom of my soul I hate it. I don't feel safe and I don't want to do it.

so my driving instructor who is a truly lovely woman has let me rearrange the lessons.

any tips on how to crack it?

xxx

Sorry to hear it's not going as well as it could Buffy.

I wish I could help but I took to driving like a duck to water.

Can you explain what bit of it you don't feel safe about?

runmichellerun

Ossireo wrote: »

unless we take a bit of a gamble then we will never get anywhere!!

I really am going to try with this one. We really seem to click, and it's been a while since that's happened to me so fingers crossed!

Buffythedebtslayer

no, you see everyone asks that and when I say they all say oh that won't happen you are mad - well ok so I am paraphrasing and God bless my best mate - she had me on the phone for about an hour crying and all sorts ( and I NEVER bloody cry) and she was lovely. especially when I am being such a prat.

I think I will have an accident, I don't like that you can't just stop it all when loads of things happen at once roundabouts for example it just paralyses me I forget everything.

I am so annoyed with myself and very lucky my driving instructor is not a horrible person and has been so accommadating.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

*looks shifty*

ermmm well. monday went ok, tuesday was :eek: :eek: :eek: and actually before the lesson I was so nervous I was sick and then this morning I couldn't stop crying. I hate driving. from the bottom of my soul I hate it. I don't feel safe and I don't want to do it.

so my driving instructor who is a truly lovely woman has let me rearrange the lessons.

any tips on how to crack it?

xxx

Well, it took me three attempts, so may not be the best one to ask! It took me well over 6 months to pass, I would advise at least 2 lessons a week (not very DFW, I know!), I found that with lessons once a week, I was forgetting what I had learned, al I can say is practice, practise, practice. After a few weeks I thought, "I hate this, I will never get the hang of it, there is just too much to remember," but I kept going and there is a stage where it all just "clicks" and your feet and brain can finally work together!

If I had passed at my first attempt, I just would not have felt safe on the road, by the time I did pass, I felt able to go out in the car by myself without even thinking about it.

It is well worth doing, I certainly struggled at first, but I have been driving for about 10 years now, and it just makes life so much easier, so it is really worth doing. The only problem is that the whole business, lessons, car, insurance, tax etc is just so darned expensive!

But keep going, you will be so glad you did! x

RosaBernicia

Oh Buffy honey sorry to hear it was :eek: , big hug :grouphug: .

I'm glad you have a female instructor as I did find that helped - they tended to explain things in a way I understood better. (Eg. reversing by bloke instructor: "in reverse gear, when you turn the steering, the gears do wotsit, the axles do wibble wibble and the car labradoodles in the direction of the widget, therefore to get round the corner you need to levitate rapidly while using your left calculus to steer"... woman instructor: "turn the wheel the way you want the car to go".) And they don't look at you sadly when you confess you have absolutely no idea what front wheel drive actually means, well perhaps it was just me LOL!

Tips kinda depends on what you find scary about it - eg. if it's having to watch everything at once then you could try the hazard perception DVDs, so you can sort of get used to looking out for things and know when you've got it right. I did find the DSA DVDs for both theory and practical tests very helpful. If it's handling the car, maybe do lots of practice off the road so you can get used to just pootling round the supermarket car park figuring out all the various pedals and levers and which combinations don't make crunching noises .

Please don't give up though if it's something you really want, it honestly is possible when you have the right instructor and you give yourself time. As I said I failed my test four times and was convinced I'd failed again when I did actually pass! Even after I got my car I was still REALLY nervous and the first time I had to drive in the rain I didn't know how to stop the windows steaming up, so couldn't see properly, took a wrong turn on the ringroad, got completely lost, pulled off into a bus stop and nearly crunched into a lamppost (missed by 10 cm), then phoned my mum in tears so she could convince me to get back in the car as there was no other way of getting me and it home :eek: . I'm not saying this to scare you, just to say that that was me 10 months ago - now I've been all over the country with the help of my beloved satnav, I did a car maintenance for women course so I do at least know where the oil goes and I bought a Haynes manual (fantastic invention) so I can look up anything else. I'm about to start a course for the advanced driving test because I figure that will finally prove to myself that I'm not a carp driver. (Well, except when my mum is a passenger but that's just life.)

The other thing I guess might help is some kind of visualisation, to help you think through how it will be when you are confident and so you can remember why you want to do it.

And... sorry this is turning into such a ramble... even though I must have spent thousands on lessons and I can't believe the amount of money and paperwork involved in maintaining a car, it's been worth every penny because when my dad had a heart attack 6 months ago I could fling everything in it and immediately decamp to the other end of the country for a fortnight. And I know I can do it again at a minute's notice. Sometimes the extra 10 hours it would take to get a train or a hire car are just irreplaceable.

I'll shut up rambling now but you can always PM me

More :grouphug: ... oh and Pass Plus instructor recommended www.smartlearners.co.uk

RB xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Wow Rose the thanks button doesn't quite cover it.

I can't believe you took your test four times. I would completely have given up. I find it so weird this being me, its not like me to give up but I think I am frightened that not being able to do something as serious as driving is too dangerous to be messing about with.

I shall go and look at the website now Thank you so much, such a lot to think to think about xxxxxx


edited to add, sorry Sarah I didn't see your reply. I just don't know. everyone says I will be glad I did it but I just can't quite see it yet. thanks tho, am really suprised everyone took so many test - ALL my friends passed first time. xxxxx