Single and in debt.

marleyboy

bunzee wrote: »

Someone (I'm sorry, can't remember who) mentioned earlier in the thread that their parents think they just need to find someone who already owns a house - in a weird way I'm in the opposite position. I managed to buy my place last year, but I never tell any guys I meet - because my ex was someone who just wanted to take the benefits of having cheap digs, etc and I don't want to be used in that way again. It's wrong that I'm "embarassed" to admit I own my house I know because I work very hard to have it, but I if I do ever meet anyone I want them to like me for me, not my possessions (or debts lol).

I wonder if guys think like this too?

I agree with you on it, but having a partner doent neccesserilly mean moving him them in. When I met my X she lived in agrotty estate in Oldham, wasnt working, was a single mum with 3 kids. I hesitated about moving in at first, I was worried about what the kids would think of me. But it got to the point where I was seeing her every evening, and she was worrying why I wouldn move in. Which caused arguments, eventually I agreed to move in, but only after insisting we sit at the table together with the kids, and discuss it as a family.

I moved in after just 6 months (unsure I wanted to), but it made her happy, because she knew it meant I would be there.

After 2 years, of this house in kalkutta, I decided we should get a house in a better area, for the kids (getting bullied), the car (getting trashed) and the windows (getting smashed), Oh yes she didnt mention the bad history she had with the neighbours.

I got a 3 bedroom house in Manchester, extended the kitchen, replaced the garden, added a patio. Got the little one into school at the end of the street, I had him in Beavers, Cuns n Scouts, Everyone was happy, it was in an ideal spot for work, it wasnt posh, but was a proud house you could show off. The kids loved it, it was a massive transformation, suddenly they were going out meeting friends, even Richard starting getting out (something they never did). I was proud of the family, having kids call you Dad, even to their mates, is something I cant put into words. I use to cry at his parades with pride.

However when we split, it was I who had to leave, but I made it easy for the sake of the family (NOT HER), I gave it up, she could have the lot, including the debt. I got a few essentials and personal effects, and moved out

Ossireo

Happy Birthday Bunzee and glad the hair came out ok!! :j:j:j

Wish someone would do mine for me, I am a wuss when it comes to my hair, would love some nice bright blonde highlights but god knows how to do them solo!

bunzee

OMG Marleyboy that was some work you put in there! I don't think there are any guys like you where I live, you did an amazing job getting the family to a much better position, what a shame it didn't work out for you

I bought a house when I was 21 with my ex, I was with him for 10 years, there are a lot of aspects of the relationship that I regret, but thank god I bought the house back then, as my share of the equity went down as my deposit on my place I have now. Good point about not necessarily have a partner living with you, I have really become accustomed to living alone and have no desire to change that for a long while yet! And I'm discovering I really enjoy DIY so I don't want any guy coming in and taking over from me

marleyboy

bunzee

Ossireo wrote: »

Happy Birthday Bunzee and glad the hair came out ok!! :j:j:j

Wish someone would do mine for me, I am a wuss when it comes to my hair, would love some nice bright blonde highlights but god knows how to do them solo!

Thank you :beer:

It is possible to do highlights on your own but very difficult to get them even. Do you have a friend who could help you do the back? Or those kits where you have the base colour and then add streaks aren't too bad to do
I cheated this time though, just gone a really strong red all over at least I may now be 32 but you can't see my grey hair!
Actually I got ID'd in Tesco this week buying a bottle of vodka - about the 5th time this month! I need to send my driving licence away to have some details changed but I'm wondering how I'll manage to buy alcohol or go out without it :rotfl:

bunzee

:kisses: Awww thanks Marleyboy

neverdespairgirl

bunzee wrote: »

I think I should be first for Marleyboy seeing as it is my birthday in 40 minutes lol

Very happy birthday!

neverdespairgirl

PrincessPeach wrote: »

When i was in my early 20's I always just assumed that I would be married with kids by the time i hit my 30's. Funny - you don't think of the alternatives.

I'm the opposite. As a teenager, I intended to be a single, career-driven woman. Then I met OH when I was 20, and had a baby at 27. Can't plan lives that easily!

neverdespairgirl

bunzee wrote: »

I've just realised the time and I should have rinsed my hair dye off 10 mins ago - I have a suspiscion I'm going to be even less desirable to the opposite sex with green hair so I better go and deal with it

What colour is it supposed to come out? Hope it's OK!

I've never dyed my hair, as I'm far too accident-prone and would end up with purple and orange stripes.

marleyboy

bunzee wrote: »

OMG Marleyboy that was some work you put in there! I don't think there are any guys like you where I live, you did an amazing job getting the family to a much better position, what a shame it didn't work out for you

I bought a house when I was 21 with my ex, I was with him for 10 years, there are a lot of aspects of the relationship that I regret, but thank god I bought the house back then, as my share of the equity went down as my deposit on my place I have now. Good point about not necessarily have a partner living with you, I have really become accustomed to living alone and have no desire to change that for a long while yet! And I'm discovering I really enjoy DIY so I don't want any guy coming in and taking over from me

Oh come now hun, you do those things together because you want to, we used to have a laugh messin around with paste when decorating for example, but you know what I mean, you make light work of tough jobs it keeps you sane and happy that way It keeps people together if they arent bickering over stuff, and making light fun of the chores together, it makes any job pleasurable that.

I love to cook, I cooked the sunday roasts, which was ate at the table together. Family would all be at the table, and it was a good opportunity for the kids to talk openly. Cooking a meal for 1 isnt as spectaculer, theres no point me buying a joint of Beef and yorkshire pud, for just me, too much wastage. So here its quick meals.