Single and in debt.

Hobbin_Rood

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Nothing at all wrong with that, but I think you need to separate them. Personally, I think you should be "you" and have purpose and ambition (I don't necessarily mean work-related ambition) independently of a relationship. Otherwise, a relationship has to bear too much weight.

I suppose I reckon that a good relationship is the coming together of two people who have already got purpose in their lives, and the sum of the two is greater than the parts.

So well put. I was thinking similar but couldn't quite get the words to express it. I agree. Yes, we need people to love. But we can't invest too much of ourselves in this, rely on it for our well-being. As the cliche goes - don't put all your eggs in one basket.

You do need a life or purpose and also people to share it with. The two needn't be intertwined to an excessive degree. That's what my last relationship was like - we spent too much time together and eventually all that we had was each other. It imploded and I firmly believe that now I am a much happier and well balanced person.

Should I find a woman I love again, I want both of us to have friends and interests away from each other, to be as content as we can be in every way. That's a true relationship, and one which will last a lot longer and be a happier one.

Mupeteer

paddlingfuriously wrote: »

Dithering Dad you have really made me laugh! I think your service would be the perfect antidote to all those dating website adverts that are all over the place!!

Has everyone here done an SOA? I have just had a go but it was a bit hit and miss because I'm not sure what the bills etc will be like on my new flat. I'd like to keep a spending diary but always seem to forget to fill it in after the first few days - does anyone have any hints how best to go about it??

I don't know if any of you have had a look at spendingdiary.com? I used to do the notepad thing for keeping track of my spending but I was terrible at it but with this site it's there wherever you have access to the internet and, the best bit is, it does all the sums for you.

Apologies for replying to a post miles back in the thread but I'm just working my way through it now.

Mupeteer

sarahb123 wrote: »

I know! I always thought I was the only one as well! Am so pleased that so many people have posted, feel loads better today! I hope we can all be a great support to one another, is nice to be able to talk about it for a change. I hate being single! I know it shouldn't matter but it makes me feel like such a failure, I feel I should be more settled by now. Never thought I would be nearing 40 and still renting, or spending the weekend by myself. Am determined to have it all sorted by 40!

Jeez, I know that feeling. I've just turned 33 but feel ooooooold and unloveable.

sarahb123_3

Mupeteer wrote: »

Jeez, I know that feeling. I've just turned 33 but feel ooooooold and unloveable.

You are not old and you are not unloveable!

marleyboy

Mupeteer wrote: »

I don't know if any of you have had a look at spendingdiary.com? I used to do the notepad thing for keeping track of my spending but I was terrible at it but with this site it's there wherever you have access to the internet and, the best bit is, it does all the sums for you.

Apologies for replying to a post miles back in the thread but I'm just working my way through it now.

marleyboy

ok give us a clue mupeteer?

Mupeteer

What is it you need a clue about Marleyboy?

Ossireo

Morning you lot!!

Hope you all had a good sleep .. I got over my jerk experience pretty quickly, whats life without a little confusion in the mix :rotfl:

Some very insightful thoughts were posted in my absence, will try add some comments when I get back from the cinema. Taking the little guy to the kids club cinema for £1.50 cost in total :j

Tigsteroonie

A bit of shameless advertising here ... do any of you singles fancing coming along to the Online Dating Discussion in the MSE Arms today? Ignore the title, everyone is welcome whether they are single, married, actively seeking dates, or completely off men/women for a while!

Ytaya

Marleyboy - you sound (and look) like a sweetheart! Don't fret about your flat 'not being good enough'. It's about who you are and what you think and believe and feel and how you behave, not where you live! So long as it's clean and presentable, it won't matter to anybody worth the time.

Hobbin Rood - the same to you! You're doing your place up - so are a lot of people! Anybody worth your time will understand that. Be matter of fact and unembarassed about it and so will other people.