Single and in debt.

neverdespairgirl

runmichellerun wrote: »

But I'm not looking for sweet unfortunately, I like a man who offers me a challenge. Yes, I'm one of those girls who likes a bad boy. So I'm stuck in this limbo - the nice boys like me too much (clingy, usually) and the bad boys don't like me enough (don't hear from them for weeks)

Sounds like a long train of cheating / abusive / forgetful / advantage-taking idiots you are looking for!

The world isn't divided into "nice" (boring) and "nasty" (interesting) men, or women for that matter. You might want a man who is compassionate, kind, sympathetic, but still an intellectual challenge, or someone you do exciting stuff with.

sarahb123_3

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

One to think about - why does buying stuff cheer you up in the first place?

Lots of reasons really, I feel I deseve a treat for working so hard, and then I need more treats for myself because no one else will buy them for me, and more because I am lonely, bored, frustrated and tired of being alone, so they are a short term high, also used to think, "well the cc bill is so high, a little more won't hurt," although I have managed to stop that now. So I suppose buying things cheers me up. Which is how I got into this mess in the first place.

sarahb123_3

marleyboy wrote: »

He was 8 months old when we met, hes 10 now

You poor thing, it's good that you still get to see him sometimes, and remember that in all the ways that count you are and always will be his dad.

runmichellerun

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Sounds like a long train of cheating / abusive / forgetful / advantage-taking idiots you are looking for!

The world isn't divided into "nice" (boring) and "nasty" (interesting) men, or women for that matter. You might want a man who is compassionate, kind, sympathetic, but still an intellectual challenge, or someone you do exciting stuff with.

That's the one!!! Where's he then? Because I usually get one or the other. If I found Mr 'In The Middle' then I would be there like a shot.

marleyboy

Cheers Hobbin, I see im not alone, Im fortunate that I have qualifications and am happy in my job, but believe me mate, money isnt the be and end, I find money is truly the root of all evil, your damned if you dont have it, yet your damned if you do. Ive learned that if someone is only attracted to the glitter, the heart isnt made of gold.

Hobbin_Rood

marleyboy wrote: »

He was 8 months old when we met, hes 10 now

That's rough, on you and him. So hard to disentangle yourself from a normal relationship, when there's kids involved it must be so much harder. All credit to you for forming such a strong bond with a step-kid and obviously wishing to maintain it. I hope you can keep in contact...

runmichellerun

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Sounds like a long train of cheating / abusive / forgetful / advantage-taking idiots you are looking for!

The world isn't divided into "nice" (boring) and "nasty" (interesting) men, or women for that matter. You might want a man who is compassionate, kind, sympathetic, but still an intellectual challenge, or someone you do exciting stuff with.

Oh, and I've been lucky enough to never get anyone who was abusive or cheated on me. It's just that the men I really like tend to ignore me lots. Which makes me like them even more.

Hence my pledge (see previous page) to be more respectful to myself.

PrincessPeach_2

marleyboy wrote: »

He was 8 months old when we met, hes 10 now

he will always look to you as his father, nothing can take away the years that he's had with you.

Hobbin_Rood

marleyboy wrote: »

Ive learned that if someone is only attracted to the glitter, the heart isnt made of gold.

Wise words. My scheming ex truly took me for a mug (emotionally and financially taking the !!!!). I'm not motivated by money much either, but it's hard when out of the blue your washing machine breaks down (as happened to me - luckily I was donated one on freecycle).

My most embarrassing admission is that when my ex and I split up we hadn't long moved into a new flat, and I still haven't finished decorating it. Especially at first, every penny had to go sorting out the debts first. Non-essentials had to be put on the back burner.

So my living room has no wall paper on it. The kitchen has no flooring. I couldn't bring a girl back to my flat, what would she think? I need to get it sorted, but there's still that debt and my overdraft is creeping up and up and up again....

I'll sort it eventually, but it's trying...

PrincessPeach_2

runmichellerun wrote: »

Oh, and I've been lucky enough to never get anyone who was abusive or cheated on me. It's just that the men I really like tend to ignore me lots. Which makes me like them even more.

Hence my pledge (see previous page) to be more respectful to myself.

same here - thats if i get over my shyness in the first instance.