Single and in debt.

Buffythedebtslayer

sarahb123 wrote: »

Looks at bedside table after weekend root around.

1. What not to wear. (Slight problem, have nothing that fits.)
2. It's just a date:o (actually quite good, but only on how not to be clingy, not on how to actually find someone)
3. Perfect Housewife:o (slight problem. No house. Not a wife)
4. Several books on Cosmic Ordering. (can't help it, they are my absolute favourites):D
5. I can make you thin. (Bet you can't). (ooh look, you didn't)


Have several of the books you mentioned lying around somewhere, Buffy. You are not alone.:D Be proud! We shall open a library and retire on the profits!

Oh God that made me cry with laughter.

Sarah you should write a book!
xxxx

sarahb123_3

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others - How to Increase Your Marriage Potential by up to 60%

Can you remember the answer? Will save me buying the book:D

sarahb123_3

Lula-Hula wrote: »

I've been pondering this 'help' books thing ... what worries me is that I may discover that I'm totally incompatible with males in the long term relationship sense :rolleyes: I've become very independent over the years, enjoy my own space & dont like being controlled.

I'm so keen to annhilate my debt that I'm seriously considering a challenge to ignore men for a year :eek: Dating is expensive & time consuming & most of all very very distracting .

I so agree with this, I am very independent, love my own space, I am happy in my own company and I hate being told what to do. I am very stubborn and I think I may have become too set in my ways.

I am definitely giong to ignore men for a while. They started it first.:mad:

Buffythedebtslayer

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Thanks guys & :hello: & welcome to mammamia,

I've been pondering this 'help' books thing ... what worries me is that I may discover that I'm totally incompatible with males in the long term relationship sense :rolleyes: I've become very independent over the years, enjoy my own space & dont like being controlled.

I'm so keen to annhilate my debt that I'm seriously considering a challenge to ignore men for a year :eek: Dating is expensive & time consuming & most of all very very distracting :cool:

I can't believe I missed that. I think I agree with you and Sarah.

I just don't see myself in a relationship and I don't mean in a self pitying no one likes me way I mean in a for God's sake every where I turn men are more or less a disappointment or a restriction kinda way. why tear myself up over it? I mean I am sitting here worrying about an ex cos basically I think something is up with him and he won't tell. I mean seriously why do I CARE?

its definitely food for thought. It would be good to make a decision about it to be in control of it rather then feeling everytime I go out I am vaguely on the look out or should be and when nothing happens i feel awful.

hmmmm

off to bed now. well after sorting out tomorrow.

xxxxx

DebtFreeDan

heeeeeeyyy!!! Men are getting a bad name in this thread!!! We aren't ALL bad you know!!!

sarahb123_3

DebtFreeDan wrote: »

heeeeeeyyy!!! Men are getting a bad name in this thread!!! We aren't ALL bad you know!!!

Ooh! We've snared another one!:D

We know you're not all bad. We are just having a bit of trouble finding/keeping the best ones. We are all fab and therefore quite choosy.

RosaBernicia

Quote:
Originally Posted by RosaBernicia

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others - How to Increase Your Marriage Potential by up to 60%


Can you remember the answer? Will save me buying the book:D

Rather depressingly the answer seems to be 'because those women insist on it'. Of course they spin this out into 8 chapters, it's basically a research-survey version confirming all the advice everywhere else ie. go out more, keep an open mind about people you meet, maintain reasonable grooming standards!

Buffy you worry about people because you are kind and loyal, that's a good thing and the right person will see it and understand how fabulous you are. Soon. :grouphug:

Hi and welcome DF Dan :hello: , don't worry we're just letting off steam. I know women are equally mad .

G'night all

Rosa xx

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I can't believe I missed that. I think I agree with you and Sarah.

I just don't see myself in a relationship and I don't mean in a self pitying no one likes me way I mean in a for God's sake every where I turn men are more or less a disappointment or a restriction kinda way. why tear myself up over it? I mean I am sitting here worrying about an ex cos basically I think something is up with him and he won't tell. I mean seriously why do I CARE?

its definitely food for thought. It would be good to make a decision about it to be in control of it rather then feeling everytime I go out I am vaguely on the look out or should be and when nothing happens i feel awful.

hmmmm

off to bed now. well after sorting out tomorrow.

xxxxx

I think the key thing for me was that I was driving myself mad with it all. I am not thinking about it at all at the moment, losing weight and saving for a deposit have become my priorities. I need to feel better about myself, ie am solvent and looking my best, looking for a house, being the grown up I always intended to be, instead of getting sidetracked by rubbish job, being single, where is my life, I don't want this one etc. I would not rule out a relationship, but I would prefer it to be when I am at my best. I am giving myself 6 months to a year to get sorted. (Then I am back on the rich genius hunt).

I think the most important factor for me was the realisation that there is nothing to be embarrassed about in being single, and this thread has been a huge help in that. I haven't failed at something or let anyone down. I am not waering a big red S on my head. There are loads of us. And let's be honest, although we bemoan our status, there are positives to being single. Not least the not being trapped in a crappy relationship one.

I am not ruling anything out. I am just giving myself a break from the pressure I put on myself. Of course I want to meet someone. But I don't really want to just yet. I really don't. I want to be at my best. It;s not really a question of making a decision, it's more of a coming to a realisation. You don't have to stop looking when you go out, you just have to stop feeling awful when you don't meet someone. I still look. It's ingrained. But I don't feel bad when I don't meet someone, I actually think more now about how I had a good time without spending too much! Because one time I will go out and meet the one. I know I will. It just wasn't that time. But one day it will be. (And I will be wearing fab shoes and my lovely clothes will fit)

Bowski_1011

Evening everyone!!!

Welcome to the thread DebtfreeDan We already know all men aren't the same... We actually like men (alot!! lol) we just don't wanna relationship with them and like to moan about them. It's what us girls are good at

2 more sleeps until Wakey and I sooooo can;t wait:beer: Been a bit more on the sunbed , had my hair dyed (no more greys..yay!) and I'm booked in to get a much needed trim on saturday morning, so I'll get it straightened too ready for the night...woohoo!! Eco..thanks for the advice, I certainly shall be going to said cattle market. Went there last time and had a fantastic nite, I did have a few chances last time but I wasn't interested, it will be typical this time I'm on the pull I won't have any chances. Sure I'll have a fab night either way though! God I've got butterflies just thinking about it.. You'd think I never got out wouldnt ya haha!!! I am already dreading the hangover though

What does everyone else have planned for the weekend??

Has anybody out their decs up yet? I've seen a few fruitloops with theirs up and a few people have had on their facebook they're gonna put theirs up but I'm waiting till the 1st Dec.

Bowski_1011

Sarahb what you say makes alot of sense. I'm glad the thread makes you feel alot better about being single. Lots of people are single out of choice and it is nothing to be ashamed of atall. I know I'm only 27 so got alot of years ahead of me but I at the moment I honestly feel like I want to be single forever. Yes I do have a trust issue but it's not just that, I am so happy with my life as it is a bloke would just ruin it. I know that no relationship is perfect and you have to take the rough with the smooth but I'm not prepared to take the rough, i couldn't be bothered to put in the effort.

I know you want to find a man one day, our circumstances are totally different and I do understand why you want to but I am glad you've decided to take the pressure off until you've sorted out other things first. I believe you have to be happy with yourself first. I have friends who just need to have a partner, can't be on their own and now years later they're stuck in loveless relationships simply because they can't face being on their own. It actually makes me feel quite sad that people waste their lives doing that.

Anyways you'll find a lovely man one day and we all want invites to the wedding hehe