Why is there such animosity between certain boards on here?

smashedbooboo

Er, what he said. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

barnaby-bear

rog2 wrote: »

Perhaps you should try "doing frills" occasionally, snooze - it might even make you feel a bit happier with yourself.
Do you not think that many of the posters who find this forum have already gone through the 'being told it as it is' stage - often by people whose only interest is self-centred, and who have no intention of 'helping' the debtor to find a solution?
I would seriously suggest that you do not volunteer yourself to work for any of the debt counselling charities.
Often 'time' is something that many posters, here, have precious little of, having turned to this forum as a result of people 'banging at the door (often literally) so they do not want to 'waste' it.
A response from someone who claims to be 'telling it as it is' will frighten off many 'newbies' depriving them of the opportunity to learn from others who have been, or still are, in their situation. Sometimes, yes, there is a need for 'tough love' but it is how that 'tough love' is given that is important.
You may think that we are a bunch of losers - that is an opinion to which you are entitled, but one which would be best kept to yourself by not posting - but this oard has, and continues to do so, helped many people to regain their self-respect and to tackle what, otherwise, might have been seen as insurmountable problems.

To be fair there's a spectrum - the vast majority of the advice the OP got was resonable, polite and sensible... there have been several posts along the lines of "I earn 10k have 15k debt, numerous CCJs, no deposit and am trying to get myself in hock for 200k - it's not fair the bank won't give me the money - how can I make them" - these *aren't* people desperate or worried about debts... one or two posters are a bit harsh but generally most people are quite reasonable and helpful though....

bandraoi

rog2 wrote: »

Perhaps you should try "doing frills" occasionally, snooze - it might even make you feel a bit happier with yourself.
Do you not think that many of the posters who find this forum have already gone through the 'being told it as it is' stage - often by people whose only interest is self-centred, and who have no intention of 'helping' the debtor to find a solution?
I would seriously suggest that you do not volunteer yourself to work for any of the debt counselling charities.
Often 'time' is something that many posters, here, have precious little of, having turned to this forum as a result of people 'banging at the door (often literally) so they do not want to 'waste' it.
A response from someone who claims to be 'telling it as it is' will frighten off many 'newbies' depriving them of the opportunity to learn from others who have been, or still are, in their situation. Sometimes, yes, there is a need for 'tough love' but it is how that 'tough love' is given that is important.
You may think that we are a bunch of losers - that is an opinion to which you are entitled, but one which would be best kept to yourself by not posting - but this oard has, and continues to do so, helped many people to regain their self-respect and to tackle what, otherwise, might have been seen as insurmountable problems.

Maybe you should add a few frills to that post yourself?

How do you know where snooze is at in life, and whether the addition of frills will push her over the edge into manic rage and frustration because she is stuck tip toeing around family members in delicate situations.

As I was saying, the DFW board is just as bad at tearing people to shreds, the only difference is that they do it to a whole other set of people.

pania

bandraoi wrote: »

Maybe you should add a few frills to that post yourself?

How do you know where snooze is at in life, and whether the addition of frills will push her over the edge into manic rage and frustration because she is stuck tip toeing around family members in delicate situations.

As I was saying, the DFW board is just as bad at tearing people to shreds, the only difference is that they do it to a whole other set of people.

pania

is rob, who goes by the name of snooze, a she then?

rog2

bandraoi wrote: »

How do you know where snooze is at in life, and whether the addition of frills will push her over the edge into manic rage and frustration because she is stuck tip toeing around family members in delicate situations.

You are quite correct, bandraoi - I do not, indeed, know where snooze is at in life. If she were to be in the situation that you describe, then, surely, a more sympathetic approach to others with problems could only benefit her own case.
I can only surmise, by reading her post, that she is not in the situation that you describe, but if she were, and were honest and open enough to post her problems on this board, then I can assure you that she would be most openly and warmly recieved by the DFW posters.

marshmallow79

rog2 wrote: »

I can assure you that she would be most openly and warmly recieved by the DFW posters.

We'd even give her a hug!:kisses3:

bandraoi

rog2 wrote: »

You are quite correct, bandraoi - I do not, indeed, know where snooze is at in life. If she were to be in the situation that you describe, then, surely, a more sympathetic approach to others with problems could only benefit her own case.
I can only surmise, by reading her post, that she is not in the situation that you describe, but if she were, and were honest and open enough to post her problems on this board, then I can assure you that she would be most openly and warmly recieved by the DFW posters.

But we're not talking about posters posting on this board and revealing huge personal problems, we're talking about the other boards where people aren't usually revealing huge personal problems and are taking sensible, no frills advice deeply personally, when all they really wanted was a lovely hug. They're then blaming the people giving them sensible, no frills advice and accusing them of being big bullies.

You do exactly the same thing as they do.

MrsTinks

Right gang... before this disintegrates into something I don't want on the DFW boards I'm going to close the thread.

I hope everyone here bears in mind that things could be much much worse... like it is for poor Weller who sadly and unexpectedly lost her husband last night... DFW is for helping, not judging and we should all be nice to each other. How would you feel if the last post to made to someone was hurtful and demoralising? Knowing that was the last thing they read?

Think really hard about that...

MrsTine