Why is there such animosity between certain boards on here?

Dithering_Dad

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Hey DD!
Nice to see you matey-not been on the 'Huggers' board for a bit...
Did we scare you away or summat?

Hiya Bunny!

I like to spread myself about, it's not fair to deprive the other boards of my magnificent presence!

Actually, apart from my recent spats on the Housing board (trying to get them to mend their doommongery ways) and on the pensions board (trying to get one poster to make recommendations that are based on the OPs needs, rather than that poster's financial prejudices) I've not been posting much. *DD gasps for air after such a long and convoluted sentence*

I'm back now though!

Well, actually I'm just off home.

I'll be back though, for wherever there are injustices in the world, wherever there are DFW's getting flack on the Housing Boards and wherever there is a chance to mouth off, there you will find Dithering Dad!

*DD strikes an heroic pose, pushing out his mighty chest and sucking in his mighty gut, the sequined DD letters on his catsuit, sparkling in the sunlight*

"Fear not, friend DFWs", he says with his deep and manly voice, "for I will return".

*all the DFWs look at each other, wide eyed in wonderment*

"Wow, what's DD on, and where can I get some", they cry in unison!

right, that's me. off home for me tea! :rotfl:

Numpty_Monkey

marshmallow79 wrote: »

I wish I'd know about you guys sooner (god I'm getting all slushy on you!) I actually had to change my screen name recently because I had someone from the vent board following me around tearing apart everything I said (I must be famous...I had my own stalker!:eek:) and it was really starting to get me down, which doesn't help when you're already down from things going on in your life (I'm up to my eyeballs in debt!). I asked for the mods to look at their postings past and present to see what a bully they were (they do this to other people to) but they are still using the boards so I don't think anything was done about them. The only way I could get them away from me was to change my name.

You are welcolmed to join in on DFW as you have said and seen we are nice we give the help and hugs the advice and yes we can give you a kick in the ar5e when its needed:rolleyes:

Numpty_Monkey

DD:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

and can you get me some:T

pania

Snooze.

Thank you for coming over here and saying your side, it is appreciated and hopefully we can all get to an understanding of where we are all coming from.

Regarding the previous incidents with the other threads. the fact is on DFW we often have to give gentle but assertive advice to people that are frequently in a delicate frame of mind when they first post here. There are incidents too numerous to be mentioned where tough love is massively needed and indeed given by the "regular time wasters" on here.
Some people, dare I say relatively new to the forums may then come across to the housing thread, expecting the same kind of approach they receive here, firm advice telling it how it is but in a gentle manner and discover that it can be very different to that in other places. DOes that mean we are wrong in our approach? I believe not, DOes it mean you are wrong? I also believe not, it is what you are used to. But in branding all DFWs as "huggers" or "back-patters" shows a lack of understanding as to the psychology that is required here to deal with some people that are ready to jack it all in and call it curtains.
I can understand why you were !!!!!! off if it was a genuine over reaction, but, if any of what was reported/deleted was in a similar vein to the initial comments made to amy then i stand by my bed and say too right it was deleted.
We have people that want to be told they don't have to pay their debt that come here, we have people that don't want to hear they can't continue to pay 600 pm on shopping and complain that they can't afford their bills and they don't hang around too long after numerous "regular" dfw'ers say, "now hang on, you NEED to sort this."

Hopefully us "regular time wasters" as you have called us earlier have saved someones sanity, and, dare i be honest a life or two here or there. If that makes me a time waster then I am proud to be one. I also have respect for the people on the house board and the discussions that you have. but the response to amy's thread today was and i hope you admit, pretty out of order.

Numpty_Monkey

Hello Snooze,
Yes I am a hugger ,
I can’t offer the great advice other users can and never will be able to, what I can offer is the shoulder to cry on when some very desparate people ask for help and keep them together so they don’t go over the edge.
How low do you think you have to be when your only hope is a group of strangers on an internet forum ?

There is no yours or our boards these all belong to Martin
Forum Etiquette
Rule 1
Pls be nice to all MoneySavers. There's no such thing as a stupid question, and even if you disagree courtesy helps.

Bone_Idle

I'm a long-time lurker on a number of MSE boards, but time and time again find myself coming back to DFW because you all seem like such nice people! Like pania says, there's a lot of constructive criticism here - the key word being constructive. Over the years, my work has brought me into contact with a considerable number of people whose financial management skills could do with some improvement - and it's tips that I've picked up from DFWs that have been the most useful in helping them out.

I do nip over to the house price board every so often though, just to watch the fireworks!

pinkshoes

I think what snooze was trying to say (in his usual not so tactful way) was that recently on the house prices board, there's been lots of DFW people posting, wanting to buy houses despite having enormous debts and very little savings, coming across like they think it's their given right to buy a house whether they can afford it or not.

He wasn't saying that ALL of you are like that, but I guess it has been a bit tedious recently having people posting the same sort of thing, then when everyone tells them that they should come back when they're debt free and have a 10% deposit (not always tactfully/huggily - it's more of a board for direct facts), and then the thread gets deleted as they've moaned to a moderator about the style of replies...

kpwll

Please continue to be kind, please continue to be understanding, please continue to support me, please be there with a shoulder for me to cry on, please be there with a kick up the bum when needed, please be there with the good advice and tips, I think my main point is PLEASE BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

marshmallow79

You get direct facts here to pink shoes but there are ways of saying things to people without belittling them (and I don't mean you do this). Although it isn't a great idea for someone with loads of debt to be buying a house telling them they "don't have a right" to it isn't going to help anyone. Chances are they will buy that house even if you tell them not to and chances are they going to get into so much debt that they lose that house, but some people (me being one of them) will only learn if they make the mistake for themselves. I believe it was Oscar Wilde that said "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes".
When coming onto 'your' board these people were asking for advice on buying a house and not asking for you all to be judge, jury and executioner, we all make mistakes, it's what makes us human.:o

Numpty_Monkey

Thanks pinkshoes that was the word i was looking for
Tactfully:D