Why is there such animosity between certain boards on here?

**Amy**

As above really?

Any idea?

x

hypno06

I think there is a very fine line between emotion and animosity.

For many people their debt is a very very emotional subject - how they accrued it, how they are choosing to deal with it, the other bricks that life is throwing at them along the way, making things difficult etc etc etc. for some, their debt is a secret, for others no secret......

When you throw all that into the pot, it is easy to see how people are so focused on their own way of dealing with their own problem, that other peoples issues or ways of dealing with them seem unreasonable, unnecessary, downright stupid, or any number of other things.

Equally, the "communication" element of a blog can blur the lines a bit.....for example, someone who went bankrupt recently posted a thread which on the face of it seemed quite jolly.......was this person just trivialising bankruptcy, or was it a case of "if she doesn't laugh, she will cry, and may not pick herself back up again"........? Some readers might assume one, some might assume the other....only the poster knows her real feelings.

Sometimes we are all quick to judge......and have all been judged quickly, I am sure.....sadly, that is part and parcel of the age we are finding ourselves in.

GeorgeUK

I think also that some people here have never been in serious debt. It's all well and good saying that you have spent the money so you should pay it back, but when you have more going out than coming in and your home is at risk you prioritise the debts in order of necessity then affordability. If a creditor does not have the paperwork they should which can allow you to not pay that debt but allocate funds to another debt then so much the better.

Some may feel that this is a very cavalier attitude but until you face the very real prospect of losing your home, morals seem easier to come by. Okay, youve spent the money and should pay it back, but you won't put your home at risk to do so if it is not necessary. After your home is safe then by all means be moralistic and pay back any remaining debts that don't have a CCA or are even statute barred.

I still live with my parents so have never had to face that kind of pressure or fear. With the newspapers telling of people committing suicide because of this though - i can imagine what it would take to drive someone to that.

Anyway - back to original question
I think it come down to different people coming from different backgrounds and facing different problems. People are just different.

**Amy**

Thanks guys, some really good points I maybe hadnt of thought of.

Im speaking really from a personal finding today, which has actually kind of shocked me as I didnt think MSE could be like that (im generallising, its 1 person really!).

Anyway, good points, thanks.

x

immoral_angeluk

Which boards??

OliveOyl_2

Amy had a rather aggressive response from someone on the Housebuying board.
And we're called Huggers over there:rotfl: :rotfl:

Others were fair and kind enough but one particular poster was provocative, and a bit critical of our board.

I'd send you hugs Amy, but I didn't want to conform to stereo-type

**Amy**

OliveOyl wrote: »

Amy had a rather aggressive response from someone on the Housebuying board.
And we're called Huggers over there:rotfl: :rotfl:

Others were fair and kind enough but one particular poster was provocative, and a bit critical of our board.

I'd send you hugs Amy, but I didn't want to conform to stereo-type

Thanks OliveOyl xx (do you think xx is a big too "huggy" :rotfl: ).

xx

(:rolleyes: im at it again!)

rog2

There is such a diversity between the boards, albeit that they all have a financially motivated basis, that animosity, to some degree, is almost inevitable.
I think that George has summed it up very well. I firmly believe that 'debt' and all of its implications can not really be understood unless someone has really experienced debt, or has a close relationship with someone who has.
Of course we all start life thinking 'it will never happen to me' and, luckilly for some, it certainly does not happen to everybody. At the back of most people's minds the words 'debt' and 'failure' are inextricably linked and the consumer society has done nothing to allay that as a myth.
There is no set pattern for debt and, as the cross section of society that posts on this board can testify, debt can happen to virtually anyone.
In my view the 'strength' of this board can, also, be its 'downfall' in that we adopt, and preach, a positive attitude towards dealing with debt which may be seen as 'frivolous' by those who do not, or do not wish to, take the trouble to look beyond the 'debt' for the causes and solutions.
The majority of DFW posters tend to restrict their posting to the DFW and Bankruptcy boards, in the knowledge that they are among 'like minded' posters and it can come as quite a shock when they come up against someone who has no wish to understand their situation.
I do post on some of the other boards, but, inevitably, my posts will come accross as 'DFW oriented' and probably won't win me too many friends, but my entry to MSE was 'debt induced' so I feel more 'at home' here.
That said, we should not restrict ourselves totally to DFW as there is so much information on the other boards that it would be a shame to miss it by creating an isolated DFW community within MSE.

sammy115

Never thought of myself as a 'hugger' before, but I do like to thank people when they have been of help!

xx

moneymabel

OliveOyl wrote: »

Amy had a rather aggressive response from someone on the Housebuying board.
And we're called Huggers over there:rotfl: :rotfl:

Others were fair and kind enough but one particular poster was provocative, and a bit critical of our board.

I'd send you hugs Amy, but I didn't want to conform to stereo-type

lmao-well done oliveoyl...big hugs to you and i dont care, i'd rather be a huggy than an insensitive pillock ;-)

dancingfairy

I think people on here are more understanding and less judgemental. Those that want to argue/dicuss tend to do it on other boards. I don't think people on the other boards have quite the same way of looking at life. DFW attracts people with similar outlooks in life or who need to acquire that similar outlook. The other boards don't seem to be quite like that and I think maybe they don't really have the same understanding of what it's like to be in debt and how it colours all your decisions. I also think there is maybe more of a community spirit on here and people are quick to try and calm people down where on other boards people are not so worried about upsetting other peoples feelings. That's how I see it anyway. I do venture on to the other boards occasionally but have also come across some unpleasant posts - maybe I was just unlucky. I do consider this board to be my home though. Although OdStyle seem quite friendly as well.
If I had a specific question I guess I would venture over to one of the other boards for more specific advice.