Why is there such animosity between certain boards on here?

**Amy**

pinkshoes wrote: »

I think what snooze was trying to say (in his usual not so tactful way) was that recently on the house prices board, there's been lots of DFW people posting, wanting to buy houses despite having enormous debts and very little savings, coming across like they think it's their given right to buy a house whether they can afford it or not.

He wasn't saying that ALL of you are like that, but I guess it has been a bit tedious recently having people posting the same sort of thing, then when everyone tells them that they should come back when they're debt free and have a 10% deposit (not always tactfully/huggily - it's more of a board for direct facts), and then the thread gets deleted as they've moaned to a moderator about the style of replies...

Thats fine, but my actual question wasnt "i want to buy a house despite having no savings and lots of debt", it was "i am paying my debt off, saving enough for a depoist and then looking at buying a house. *breathe* Where do you see the economy/ housing market in 2010 (when i intend to do the purchasing of a house)"

So where calling DFWers "Huggers" and telling everyone that its not his problem if we dont hear what we want comes into it I have no idea.

x

OberonSH

Just to put in my penny-worth (the tuppence is already in the debt pig)

I am pleased to see people who regularly use other boards coming over to give their views - it's the way we learn and grow. Notice I did not say 'their board' or 'our board'. DFW board has been set up for people who are fragile, in need of help and sometimes about as low as you can humanly go. House board is set up for peole who want to make the most out of the biggest purchase of our lives (apart from David Tennant's pants on Ebay. For me anyway). Different sorts of people will need the different boards, and yet aren't we all on here for the same reason - that we don't particulatly want to pay full price/over the odds for something if we can do it cheaper/easier?

We may be huggy, and have eyewatering sigs, but we need to be. It gets me through tough times knowing I have support on here, and as New-Agey as that seems, we're increasingly heading towards a cyber-culture and that's the way most people get together nowadays. I felt as though MrsT, pania, webby, Dots and moley were right there with me when I was dealing with that bailiff today, and knowing if you're having a crisis over a £2 coin there's a bunch of people who don't think you need some sort of therapy is very reassuring.

Sure, we have those who post 'OMG help help I'm in shedloads of debt, but I don;t want to stop spending money on new mobiles and pet rocks', they get the same welcome as anyone else, if they then disappear then hey, that's life. £2k or £200k debt, it's all relative. And back patters we might be. Because we're essentially going against the current fashion for spending like the world's ending, and to social animals like humans that's a very big step. We deserve a back pat. All of us. We all rock. I can't wait for another meet to come up so I can go and meet some lovely people.

So pat away, hug like you've got glue on your hands and look at your fellow boarders (whichever board they use) with a bit of respect, for they would probably amaze you if you met them in the pub.

elantan

i deff think i love you obi ...you should really cahnge it to obewan canobe like toto and hypno etc you are a mystic a cause to be reckoned with and someone to listen to

OberonSH

And you need to lay off the custard love lol

Cheers - I'm only saying what I think. I just think that if we had these 'conversations' in a pub, have the stuff said wouldn't get said. People are pretty darned amazing - my ex for example - it's amazing he hasn't been snuffed out of existence by the powers that be for being a drunken mistake on the part of God.

boredofbeingathome

Personally i think the title says it all, Moneysavingsexpert.com!
We are all trying to save money, all looking at better ways to do so, and i for one believe everyone on other boards should get off their high horse, and stop taking themselves so seriously. There is only one person whose word i would take as law, and that's Martin, followed by Gok, fermi, Mrs T and of course my fellow DFW's,.
Plus i notice some of the posts on the mortgage board, and have to ask..is mortgage not a debt as well? kettle, pot black..i think!
The creditcard stoozers..would an amount on a credit card also be classed as debt? If you look at it all logically and from a creditscoring, experian point of view..that is exactly what it is..
The difference between some of those merrily neighing away on their horses, is perhaps, an illness or loss of job! I also think that the majority on here want to and do pay their debts back, probably quicker than a mortgage term as well..
So instead of saying, pay off your debts then start paying your mortgage, why not think of ..lets say..i have £125,000 mortgage and that is a debt as well! Not so different of you think like that is it?

finally turn to the poster next you and give them a big hug. x

SuzySu

I'm so embarrassed......I pressed the "thanks" button instead of the "show me" button on a not-very-supportive post. I don't know whether I can reverse it but I don't want others to think that I agree with the poster's sentiments.

Can anyone remove my thanks?

(Land_of)_Maz

I think if we are honest, it does get a bit tedious when someone comes on asking the same questions as the previous 10 first time posters, but it's important that they all get the same level of advice, delivered in the same "huggy" manner, purely because it is absolutely !!!!!! terrifying when you first come in here!!!!!! not just because the place is strange and you don't really know how the boards work technically, and everyone seems to know everyone else, but because these people are often in really bad despair and emotional, so need an emotional reaction to their problem.

And because Martin says so as the first rule of MSE, be nice to everyone, and no such thing as a stupid question etc etc.

ZTD

Snooze wrote: »

Whoa, hold on a second!!!

Firstly, apologies to xxAmyxx (or whatver she's called) for jumping on her as she appeared to be one of genuine ones, but over the past few weeks there have been a number of "your lot" who have come over onto "our" forums for help and advice with their situations and then when they've been given the advice they've scoffed at it, chucked the toys out of the pram and accused all those that gave good advice as being "unconstructive" and then reported the comments made as abuse to Martin and got the thread closed down. I'm sorry but that is just bollox and yes it does pi$$ me off no end and others.

Threads are not closed down because of complaints. Threads are closed down because of content. If you have a thread that's closed down - it was because of things that were said. You don't need to be offensive, aggressive or profane to put your point of view forward.

Snooze wrote: »

If people want advice then they should accept that what they get told probably won't be want they want to hear - it really is as simple as that. If you can't face being told the truth then don't come asking for advice!!!!! How much simpler do you want it?

Advice is not truth. It is advice. It's a mixture of opinion, experience, knowledge and prejudice - what proportions that mix are in is what separates great advice from useless. Your advice is more likely to move closer to being great advice, the more you can accept that you can be wrong.

Snooze wrote: »

I don't "do" frills with my replies, unlike you folks who don't understand the concept of just telling it like it is. Sorry if you don't like that or don't agree, but that is me and how I work and I've no time nor patience for tell-me-what-I-want-to-hear time-wasters.

Time and patience are required attributes for problem solving. If they could be solved quickly and rashly, they aren't really problems.

A good job takes time, and that takes patience. Yes, there are many people in this world with neither the time or the patience to do a good job. But as you say - that's how you work.

Bismarck

SuzySu wrote: »

I'm so embarrassed......I pressed the "thanks" button instead of the "show me" button on a not-very-supportive post. I don't know whether I can reverse it but I don't want others to think that I agree with the poster's sentiments.

Can anyone remove my thanks?

oops...looks like you've got a new friend....:rolleyes:

could you ask a moderator to remove it or - and I'm not seriously suggesting it...start a war on the thread so bad that the whole thread gets deleted? maybe not....I'll just go back to wasting my time like the hugger that I am.....

ZTD

SuzySu wrote: »

I'm so embarrassed......I pressed the "thanks" button instead of the "show me" button on a not-very-supportive post. I don't know whether I can reverse it but I don't want others to think that I agree with the poster's sentiments.

Can anyone remove my thanks?

No you can't. Go sit on the naughty stool...