Relationship breakdown

gerturdeanna

Their place is in the next town along, about 15 mins away. They love going there anyway, the kiddies, so I think I'll ...think about it!! haha
My lil sis (20!!) is going to be there aswell. Maybe I'll go myself for a few days and let him look after the kids for a while!! haha

tangochick

I think a change of scenery would be good for you & with my husband, he doesnt realise how bad things are until i d something fairly drastic- eg chuck him out.
If you move out for a few days, there is the hope that he'll miss you & realise what he could lose.
You should ask him what he thinks? does he want you to move out for a bit?

i cant believe that girl at work, she sounds awful, nearly fell off my chair when you said she's getting married, poor fiance, i agree, be great to turn up at church & clear throat a bit!

i phoned relate yesterday, they said £43 session! i'm so annoyed, i explained that we were skint, in debt, 2 young kids & she basically said tough!

good luck

gerturdeanna

tangochick wrote: »

i phoned relate yesterday, they said £43 session! i'm so annoyed, i explained that we were skint, in debt, 2 young kids & she basically said tough!

good luck

Thats not true..not round here anyway.
We went for our first prelimary session where they discuss what Relate can do for you etc etc and thats £45 but after that if you choose to continue you can pay a reduced rate. We pay £25 per week, which is still making things very tight but almost manageable. Just means no wine for me!! haha
Some places of work can refer you to Relate or try counselling through your GP's, although I think the waiting lists can be long.
HTH and you get things sorted soon too!!

Fidget21

I agree with RedBern. you have to do what you feel is best for you. So if you need a break from the situation then go to your parents, either with the kids or without. Does your sister know about the situation?

Maybe you could spend a weekend there with her for some relaxed time, leaving him with the kids (he can't get up to anything untoward then) and then see how things are when you get back and how he feels having had time on his own. If there are no improvements, maybe you could take the kids away for a 'holiday' there for a week to give you both a longer term break.

gerturdeanna

Ok so second session of Relate was tonight and we were meant to discuss our familys realtionships etc etc but we didn't actually get that far!!
She asked us how the last week had gone and I let rip!! I really needed to, I let off some steam and I feel really better about it!! He's agreed that what he did was wrong and that he's sorry for hurting me. Its not the fact that he kissed her that hurt the most, its that fact that he lied about it cos although we don't talk that much as far as I know we've never lied to each other.
We've agreed that he's not going to do anything like it again until we've decided what we are doing and we're not going to decide what we're doing until he's got his head sorted out. And I've agreed to TRY not to mention what happen again. Although I feel that may be harder than I think!!
My parents go away tomorrow so I know that if I feel I need to, I can go to theirs with or without the kids. Not sure yet whether I will. Just trying to take one day at a time at present.

gerturdeanna

He asked me today when I'm going to stay at my parents house - so I don't think I will!!

Fidget21

I would stay put for the time being and as you say take one day at a time. If things become unbearable you have that get-out clause of going to your parents. But if you want your relationship back both of you need to give this relate thing a chance. I'm sure it is difficult but try and put what happened behind you and move forward.

Still rooting for you!

gerturdeanna

I really appreciate you taking time out to read my thread and offer words of advice Fidget21. It helps to know that people out there do care and are willing to help.

Fidget21

No Worries. I feel that sometimes when you've been married for a number of years, (you know when the companionship part of marriage has started to take over from that flush of passion at the beginning) when things get difficult it can be the easier decision to make to throw away what you have had. In the case of you and your OH I believe deep down that you still love each other and it's just a transitional phase in your relationship while you find a new level of feeling that you are both happy with. You have obviously been through so much together and it would be such a shame to throw that away.

gerturdeanna

Weighed myself today and obviously all this stress is taking its toll - I've lost a stone since all this started!! Good in some ways then!! haha