Relationship breakdown

gerturdeanna

Well, it seems somethings I said have got through to him. He's called his work provided counsellors and is now just waiting for an apointment. Maybe I should just give him space now?

Fidget21

Hi Gerturdeanna

I think this a really positive step he's making for himself and for you. He may not be big enough to come out and say sorry but he is being big enough to try and do something about the problem and I respect him for that.

I think you need to tell him that you appreciate him taking this step and that you will give him all the support he needs, however under no circumstances is there to be any more messing about with other women.

Maybe he has had his light bulb moment and realised how much he is messing up, how low he has reached and how much he can lose.

I don't think things will ever go back to how they were, what you have to look towards is building a different, better future (hopefully together)

((((hugs)))) for you, cos I know how difficult this is for you and also for him cos I know how difficult this is for him (not the messing around part, but depression is crappy! Still want to kick him in the shin for the messing about bit though!)

gerturdeanna

Cheers Fidget21!! I want to kick him too!! I've told him how proud I am of taking the first step to get himself sorted and I'm pretty sure the other stuff - ie. messing around has stopped. But I'm not too sure and don't really know how to broach the subject without it flaring up into a row.

Fidget21

Maybe let it lie for the minute and you might find when things calm down a little bit and the two of you are talking more openly you get a chance to address it then. Or, it might come up in your relate sessions. When is your next one?

RedBern

He says that she listens to him - well yeah cos she's well-known for being a slapper - she's getting married in 3 weeks and has already been with 3 other men from their work!!

you know that bit in the church - when the vicar says "anyone who has a lawful impediment etc..... " I'd go and stand at the back of the church and stand up and shout....."can I have your attention please" and frighten her to death!;)

gerturdeanna

RedBern wrote: »

you know that bit in the church - when the vicar says "anyone who has a lawful impediment etc..... " I'd go and stand at the back of the church and stand up and shout....."can I have your attention please" and frighten her to death!;)

That is sooo funny!! I'd take the security guard she got caught on camera with me too!! haha

Fidget21

She got caught on camera with a security guard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:shocked: :shocked: :shocked:

OMG!!!! I feel so sorry for the guy she's marrying...how long can it last?? Somebody should tell him.

RedBern

sorry Gerturdeanna - not being flippant by my last post - glad it made you laugh (perhaps you could just go and clear your throat loudly at church??:D). Take comfort that 'what goes around comes around' - it may take time, but it always does.

Hope you manage to sort things out - but don't forget in all this that you need to look after yourself - do something for you and your self-esteem - and stop concentrating on making things better for your OH. Only he can do that for himself.

gerturdeanna

My parents go away for 10 days tomorrow and I have the option of moving into their house with the kids whilst they are away..is this a good idea? It'll give us both space but should I really be giving him space at the moment?

RedBern

It really is difficult to know what is the right/wrong thing to do - give him space, not give him space, etc. I'm afraid you've got to go with your guts on this ... and you've not been far wrong so far have you?

Would you feel better away from him? - stop thinking about what would be better for your OH - What is best for YOU and the children? If your parents' house is local then why go over there - but if it is a long way away it could be like a holiday. The children need stability and familiar stuff around them IMO -
PUT YOURSELF FIRST FOR A CHANGE!