Relationship breakdown

gerturdeanna

OMG!! We have actually been talking today - not about us but about non-important stuff - like what films we like and we've both played with the kiddies and just generally had a good time!!
Downside is I asked him if he wanted to go to an event thats on on the 17th september and he replied thats ages away yet - a lot can happen before then.

I'm sort of scared by what he meant but again don't want to push him!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH - Why can't men just say what they mean and stop keeping me in the dark!!!:mad:

gerturdeanna

Ok, well after we spent the nice time together last night chatting and things, I went to bed and he didn't come up till about 2am but then he was texting till 2:30am. I asked him who and he said some male friends from work. I didn't believe him so I nicked his phone and have just looked through it and he's deeted all the texts from last night. Only texts on there are from me and his boss, not dated last night. Scrolling through his contact list and HER number is there, listed under Tom and thats who he said was texting last night!!!

What do I do?!?! Do I tell him I know that its still going on? Do I delete the number or what?
Do I call her and tell her to back off? I really don't know!!

kizzykizzywizzy

Just caught up with your thread after being on holiday with my husband, who doesn't love me anymore! ( already booked )
The phone thing is so dodgy, my husband started carrying his around too, selective deletion of messages, the electric shock effect if we touch, the complete not caring about me at all, ie freezing cold on train platform no cuddle to keep me warm.
You sound so much like me, not knowing what's going on is driving me mad, he is unwavering in the fact it's over, which to me feels as though he has done something dodgy, but I can't prove anything & he'll never admit it. I feel as though I've lost my best friend.
I really hope your husband sees sense, I just wonder why he's going through the motions of going to relate, when he's obviously flirting & kissing this old sl&g
If it was me that wanted to end a relationship, I just would, I certainly wouldn't play silly games like he is & like your hubby is, you may just grow to hate him soon & then there will be no going back. You & I deserve better, I've got children too so I know how you just want to be a "normal" family & I know how scary it is to think you will be on your own with them, I'm terrified, but I suppose you just have to get on with it, grrr we'll get all the hard work & they'll take them to the park & act like single blokes. Can I ask how old your DH is? mines just turned 39, wonder if it's some sort of mid-life crisis.

gerturdeanna

My oh is 33 but acting like 3.!!! I checked his phone and messages from last night had been deleted when I know he was texting cos he was lay in bed next to me!! I checked his contacts and her number was under Tom. He said last night he was texting Tom so I suppose in his eyes he wasn't lying!! !!!!!!!!
I told him that I'm expecting 110% from him to trying to make our marriage work and if he cant then he should walk away. He says he won't cos its his house aswell and his kids are here. I told him I wanted three things, for him to say he was sorry, to stop lying to me and to delete her number from his phone and to tell her to f off!! He says he couldn't/wouldn't so I walked out. Came back about 10pm and he'd phoned everyone else but me. He called his brother to tell him I'd gone walkies, he called his boss to tell him too. He called his supervisor to tell her he maybe late in the morning and may have two kids with him and he called HER - to tell her I was on the warpath and maybe looking for her!! How dare he!!! HE DIDN'T RING ME AT ALL!!
I've told him now that its obvious he doesn't care and she'll get her effing comupance on her wedding day when I deliver her wedding present to her!!!
I'm leaving tomorrow - I'm going to my mum's house with the kids and I'm going seeing a solicitor. I am not going to be a doormat and a mug any longer!! I am outta here!!

gerturdeanna

The kids have woken up this morning in floods of tears as they thought they were going to his work with him - he's obviously made it out to be a big adventure for them.
I've told the kids that I'm not angry with them, I'm angry with their dad.
But all they see is that I wasn't there yesterday and daddy was talking to lots of people on the phone. He was talking to Darryl, Sarah, Mark and 'another one' they say. What a complete !!!!!. I'm still getting in touch with solicitor today.

kizzykizzywizzy

How awful for you, you are a lot braver than me! I'm going to ring the CAB today, but I really don't want to get divorced, I still love him. I wish my head would take over & my heart would stop taking over.
Don't let this b!tch get away with this scott free, I just feel for you the kids & the poor fiance.
What a nasty selfish man.
You take care & keep yourself busy, less time to think!

gerturdeanna

I really don't know what to do - I do still love him but I also hate his actions so much at the moment. I'm phoning the CAB aswell today to ask advice. Telephone consultations open at 10am!!
I really want to hit someone!!! and I'm not a violent person at all
I hope we can both get through this kizzy!!

scottishfreebiehunter

Hi guys going through same here also happy marriage as i thought but then bang out of blue really cannot talk much just now as he is also to not 100% ds upset though i know i need to be strong during this but hurting like hell


telling me he is staying on someones couch yeh yeh and then told me last night if i go anywhere he will sell house lock stock and barrel from under me


keep strong guys though i want to go and wipe the floor with the person and may still do so ,though not the right thing to do either

gerturdeanna

It must be something in the water - the amount of people that are going through the same/similar situation!!
HUGS to us all!!

gerturdeanna

Solicitor is booked - free first interview - next monday at 3pm