Bad Reference - oh yes they can

Got2change

Thank you for suggestions - all marvellous and very very useful.

I agree that it is not worth including the list but I couldn't find another way to express my defence. Given the detail they went into, I was worried that I would go on and on in the letter itself - defendingmyself aganist each point they made.

Feel free to comment on the grammar, structure, spelling etc etc. I may (sometimes) have a way with words but this is obviously not one of those times; I am too close to this and my poor head had ached all day with it.

I am away now to put together a letter that makes best use of all the relevant suggestions you have made.

x

Got2change

Another question for the clever ones...
I have no idea who to send this letter to, this is why:

#1 - Team Leader/Manager (I think) - Interview and made the call to offer me the job. (When I called him on receipt of the withdrawal letter, he faked a bad signal and said he would call me back. Still waiting.)

#2 - HR No 1 - DN. Signatory on offer letter; never met I have only spoken to him on the phone - once for progress report (he delegated the return call to HR Admin) and once to clarify (but not confirm) the reference situation after the withdrawal.

#3 - HR No 2 - NP. Signatory on withdrawal letter; again, never met. Tried to call upon withdrawal of offer but on holiday the week the letter was sent so spoke to to HR No 2 above.

(Also had conversations with HR Admin (several), a random HR person who called me out of the blue one day to find out why I had left previous job and Occupational Health.)

Confusing isn't it? Thoughts are to send a letter to each; the company was very difficult to communicate with and when I spoke to HR No 1, he said that an entire team (!?) was involved in the decision to withdraw the offer.

Any suggestions?

x

floss2

Personally, I would start at the top. If they need to involve a team , that is up to them.

zzzLazyDaisy

Hmmm, difficult. I think I'd send it to the writer of the offer letter, and cc it to the person who called to make the verbal offer (these being the only two people who you can say for certain were involved in some way in making the job offer to you).

RedBern

had a quick read through this - looks like you've had a rotten time recently. But the only way things are going to improve is if you make a decision to either go to the CAB and see what can be done - or if not - do what others have suggested and don't put this previous employer on your CV.

Get a temping job - doing anything to give you a backup reference for a couple of months and then apply for the type of job you'd really like - I think you mentioned working with people with learning disabilities. Take up the offer of counselling - it can help you see things in a different light - just because someone said 'you don't work well with people' (or whatever the quote was) it is their perception - do you think you can work well with people (which you appear you can if you were a PA in a busy firm) - but your confidence has been wrecked.

Finally - if you decide to do an OU course - good luck. It was the best thing I every did - honestly! That alone will give you confidence, you'll meet different people and have a different support network.

RedBern

wonder if there is any way the company that offered you the job and then withdrew their offer could take you on on a temporary/trial basis that would give you the opportunity to prove your worth?

Got2change

Thank you again for much needed advice and useful suggestions.

I will be reviewing and amending the letter tomorrow; sending it to the HR person who signed the offer letter and cc'ing the guy I met seems the best option. To be quite honest, I wonder how I would feel about working for them even if they offered me a job (again) after all of this; but I do feel a stong need to give them food for thought with regard to how I have been perceived. What I do about the ex-employers remains to be seen and will be dealt with, just not as a priority. (ooh, listen to me, don't I sound tough? Soooo not.)

Redbern - I am actually presently trying to do a short OU course, but seem to be allowing - as is my downfall - other things like this to distract me. Added to that, my Tutor has been taken ill so nowhere to send my TMA to until she's better. I do keep trying, honestly.

Thank you all for your input today; I hope no-one is sad enough to be reading this this evening. For once, I am going to clear off as I have given myself the mother of all headaches on this computer today. I just went to the farm to see my horse and bumped into loads of runners coming through the land on a 10k run - it made me feel so c**p at having sat on my bottom all day. Talk about downward spiral.......... No More. (?)

Bye for now.
x

therealdessie

Don't get so hung up on having to justify your position, because if you do that you accept in a round-about way that they were right in what they said. They WEREN'T right, you DON'T have anything to explain and all you need do is demonstrate how you did the best you could under those unfortunate circumstances.

You want to project an image (to anyone, not just this employer) of someone who has had to deal with very tiresome and juvenile people (which you have!) in a positive and adult way.

sheena4711

Update on previous post, my friend was informed yesterday by letter that she would get compensation from her previous employers without having to resort to going to the small claims court. No solicitors cost involved, she just acted on advice from CAB. Good luck to you, there is hope.

RedBern

Redbern - I am actually presently trying to do a short OU course, but seem to be allowing - as is my downfall - other things like this to distract me. Added to that, my Tutor has been taken ill so nowhere to send my TMA to until she's better. I do keep trying, honestly.

my kitchen floor was never as clean as when I had a TMA to do! Good Luck.