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Eating meals at friends / family's homes
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tinkerfairy
Posts: 61 Forumite
This might sound odd but it causes a great deal of arguments in our home.
My mil's house is really dirty, I can't explain in words but it's like something you see on how clean in your house.
Would you eat here? I always refuse to eat there, I hate visiting it as it makes me feel sick. My partner isn't bothered and he insists I allow the children it eat there and doesn't see my problem.
Am I being silly like he claims or would you not eat somewhere so dirty?
He wouldn't eat in a dirty restaurant so don't know why he would feel happy eating here.
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My mil's house is really dirty, I can't explain in words but it's like something you see on how clean in your house.
Would you eat here? I always refuse to eat there, I hate visiting it as it makes me feel sick. My partner isn't bothered and he insists I allow the children it eat there and doesn't see my problem.
Am I being silly like he claims or would you not eat somewhere so dirty?
He wouldn't eat in a dirty restaurant so don't know why he would feel happy eating here.
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Comments
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No I wouldn't let my kids go or eat in a dirty houseHave a Bsc Hons open degree from the Open University 2015 :j:D:eek::T0
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tinkerfairy wrote: »This might sound odd but it causes a great deal of arguments in our home.
My mil's house is really dirty, I can't explain in words but it's like something you see on how clean in your house.
Would you eat here? I always refuse to eat there, I hate visiting it as it makes me feel sick. My partner isn't bothered and he insists I allow the children it eat there and doesn't see my problem.
Am I being silly like he claims or would you not eat somewhere so dirty?
He wouldn't eat in a dirty restaurant so don't know why he would feel happy eating here.
Did he grow up there?Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman0 -
Oh dear, you're not my dil are you? My gran used to say you gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die, and I can say hand on heart I have NEVER given anyone foid poisoning.
Lighten upPlease forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.0 -
notanewuser wrote: »Did he grow up there?
No he didn't .0 -
Oh dear, you're not my dil are you? My gran used to say you gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die, and I can say hand on heart I have NEVER given anyone foid poisoning.
Lighten up
She did give us food poisoning when I last ate there several years ago.
Seriously you have to see and smell it to believe me how bad it is.0 -
If it was just a friend, I'd sick to my guns. However its your MIL, and the childrens' grandma - is it really so bad that you think you'd get ill from eating there?
Bear in mind that it's the nasties like salmonella and e coli which cause the problems, and they're more to do with insufficient cooking and poor food storage than general household grot. Healthy people tend to have a pretty good immune system, and let's face it, most of us don't see the kitchens in our local restaurants and take-aways yet tuck into our kebabs and curries without giving it much thought
Edited to add:
Aahh.. I see you've already had food poisoning. It IS pretty bad, then:eek:.
How about offering to get a takeaway when you visit? We used to do this when we visited an elderly relative (not due to hygiene - she was an amputee and cooking, or going out to eat was too much for her). Her plates and cutlery weren't always that pristine, so we got round it by washing them in scalding hot water just before serving to "warm them up" 0 -
I go into families homes for my job. I can QUITE imagine the kind of house you are talking about. And no, I wouldn't eat there if it is really that bad. Many people won't "get" how bad a dirty home can be if they haven't witnessed it themselves.... there is a BIG leap between cluttered & untidy to dirty and unhygenic
In the interest of diplomacy (and keeping the peace) why not offer to take your MIL out for a meal instead of eating there?
I can understand why your partner may feel defensive towards his mother. Did he grow up away from her for reasons in part due to the cleanliness of the home (ie care due to neglect?) I only ask because this is a reason it could be a sticking point with him xxxBaldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?0 -
Make sure you eat before you go round, muccyDs is ideal for this.
I wouldn't eat in a midden.0 -
No I wouldn't eat there. Untidiness I can cope with, but dirtyness is a big no no. What's their personal cleanliness like? I'd be worried that they didn't wash their hands or worktops before food preparation.
I'm not a total clean freak by any means, and realise that in times gone by before there was anti bac cleaner etc, people managed perfectly well. But there's a difference between a slight bit of dirt (probably won't harm you) and down right dirtyness.
I'm very sensitive to smells, and if something smells greasy or dirty, then I'm outta there. I have a very low gag reflex.
Some of those houses on HCIYH are disgusting, and if your MIL's house is like that, then I don't blame you for not wanting to go or let your kids eat there.0 -
bigmomma051204 wrote: »I go into families homes for my job. I can QUITE imagine the kind of house you are talking about. And no, I wouldn't eat there if it is really that bad. Many people won't "get" how bad a dirty home can be if they haven't witnessed it themselves.... there is a BIG leap between cluttered & untidy to dirty and unhygenic
In the interest of diplomacy (and keeping the peace) why not offer to take your MIL out for a meal instead of eating there?
I can understand why your partner may feel defensive towards his mother. Did he grow up away from her for reasons in part due to the cleanliness of the home (ie care due to neglect?) I only ask because this is a reason it could be a sticking point with him xxx
No he grew up with her. He says himself how dirty it is and how can she not be embarrassed having visitors, work men etc around.
The dirty floors I can cope with if she didn't pick utensils, food, dish cloths up off the floor and use them without washing them. She never ever does any housework and doesn't wash up just swills things off but baking trays etc are just left in the oven for the next time.
Her personal hygiene is just as bad she doesn't shower often and smells, has dirty nails and doesn't brush her teeth (we bought her an electric toothbrush last Xmas and it's still sealed).0
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