Eating meals at friends / family's homes

tinkerfairy

He thinks it's tight if we don't go down now as she spent her money on the food.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

tinkerfairy wrote: »

It has totally ruined my christmas as I had planned Boxing Day bought all the food for us etc. we as going to visit my dad who has just came out of hospital after having a major operation due to cancer then relax in the evening with a little buffet just us and the kids.

She told him she's bought food for us and he said we are going . My plans been thrown out of the window.

It's really ruining my christmas knowing I have to sit there and be nagged at for not eating. I don't like the thought of the children eating there either.

'Well I've bought food for us too so we are eating here, we can visit but I'm cooking a roast and we will be eating it here.'

fizzytrinket

I wouldn't. It made me gag just thinking about it

bigmomma051204

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

'Well I've bought food for us too so we are eating here, we can visit but I'm cooking a roast and we will be eating it here.'

Or "well, tell her she gets a break then - bring the food with her here and I will cook for everyone!"

Georgiegirl256

tinkerfairy wrote: »

No he grew up with her. He says himself how dirty it is and how can she not be embarrassed having visitors, work men etc around.

The dirty floors I can cope with if she didn't pick utensils, food, dish cloths up off the floor and use them without washing them. She never ever does any housework and doesn't wash up just swills things off but baking trays etc are just left in the oven for the next time.

Her personal hygiene is just as bad she doesn't shower often and smells, has dirty nails and doesn't brush her teeth (we bought her an electric toothbrush last Xmas and it's still sealed).

Ewww that's disgusting, I feel sick just reading this!

meg72

tinkerfairy wrote: »

She did give us food poisoning when I last ate there several years ago.

Seriously you have to see and smell it to believe me how bad it is.

This is serious and I would be telling OH its definitely a No, let him go and be poisoned if he whats but the kids and I would be eating safely at home. I would be asking him what kind of Dad would even want to put his kids at risk.

Indie_Kid

I wouldn't. Not overly fussed about an untidy house. I've been a friend house a few times where it's been a bit untidy, which he apologised for and did once say he didn't have time to clean up the mess his son made.

*max*

I'm not tidy, never have been. I'm messy. But what you're describing isn't a tidyness issue, it's an hygiene issue.

If this is the way she lives, I wouldn't eat there, ever. It's just revolting. It's making me gag just thinking about it. _pale_
Your partner can't reasonably expect you to put up and shut up about it because she's his mother! Put you foot down. I would flat out refuse to eat there, frankly (same goes for the kids!). He can't make you.

Fen1

Have you told her point blank that she's dirty? Some people just do not see how dirty they are. Tell her how she gave you food-poisoning.
There is absolutely no point hinting with toothbrushes, soap, etc. It will be blanked, as you've found out.
Be brave. Tell her face to face, on your own, as your OH will not back you up. Just be aware that there may be serious fall-out. She needs to know how her behaviour is endangering the health of her grandchildren. Most normal people would be horrified if they poisoned their grandchildren, BUT she may be in such a hoarding state that she will not accept responsibility. Cue psychiatric intervention.

mwa

Similar situation here, my mum's house is downright disgusting with dog poo/cat poo thrown into the mix, I hardly ever visit due to the conditions but she never seems to realise this might be why. I grew up in it but now live decently myself. We have to go over Xmas, what we normally do is offer to bring stuff and stick to eating that I.e. Pringles/sealed foods.