Not allowed on hen/stag parties.
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If I was going out every weekend getting drunk and partying, I would class that as not growing up.
I'm 27 as I say I've moved to a new area where I see my friends once or twice a year so I wouldn't class wanting to go on a stag do that happens maybe once every few years as not wanting to grow up. I dont generally go out much now as work commitments ontop of lack of friends in my new area have limited my options. And generally when i do go out it's with my other half.0 -
In my opinion you've got to grow up at some point. Yet, it seem still want to be one of the boys!
If my OH wanted to go around the local pubs for a stag do I wouldn't be too impressed but say ok.
If he wanted to go further afield I'd dump him. The truth is if you get up to any mischief it nearly always get back to your partner!
Wow, that's quite extreme.0 -
It depends on the reason they are not wanting their partner to go.
They may not object to them going on a pub crawl with friends and coming home blotto in the morning.
However, they may not want them going on a stag week to Ibiza.
The two are entirely different in my book.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
frannyj543 wrote: »OP here.
I have never been in the situation before. I have been in my home town which is in a different area and yes lots of drink was taking, I spent only my own money however I did fall and cut my head. Nothing serious.
My girlfriend knows I'm the last one leaving the bar with my mates. So knows I'd stay out all night it possible. It's not because I'm looking anyone else it's just because as I seldom go out when I do I go to town.
I would be using my own money, there's no children involved, we are both still young (under 30). But the problem is trust. I dont think she thinks when sober I would do anything but i think she thinks when I'm drunk and in the compmay of my friends who she doesn't really like I may do something.
It isnt something that will happen in next 6-12 months but it was just when we had the discussion she was like no chance. Letting you go to Benidorm or Prague with your mates for 3 days none stop drinking and God knows what else.
It's down to trust and although there's never been an issue with other people or texts or nothing there's still that potential that shes afraid off.
We work in same place, live together and generally socialise together so there isn't ample opportunities if I wanted to do something not that I do. I just want to celebrate an event and go and blow of some steam with my mates in general that I only see once or twice a year.
I don't think you need to grow up at all, it's your girlfriend who does. She's behaving like a teenager, threatening to leave you with no good reason other than you wanting to have a good time supporting your friends before they embark on the next chapter of their lives.
At 27 you're young enough to still want to have a good time with friends you don't see very often but old enough to appreciate what you have with your girlfriend (well probably you did before she issued this stupid ultimatum).
Nope, I wouldn't put up with that kind of controlling behaviour, it's just not right to want to control a person you are supposed to love like that. What on earth will happen when it's YOUR turn to get married, can you imagine how she'll react when you want a stag do?Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0 -
seven-day-weekend wrote: »It depends on the reason they are not wanting their partner to go.
They may not object to them going on a pub crawl with friends and coming home blotto in the morning.
However, they may not want them going on a stag week to Ibiza.
The two are entirely different in my book.
But why? Why is it unacceptable for people in a couple to want to spend time apart with their own friends?
If someone is going to be unfaithful they'll do it at any opportunity, the most common place people cheat is in the workplace. Should couples not be allowed to go to work, just in case?Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0 -
What are the reasons your not 'allowed'?
That's the word I picked up on. I can't imagine being in a relationship where I was told what I was allowed or not allowed to do!
We may be in a relationship but I'm still an individual.
Now that OP has explained there are no practical reasons why he shouldn't go then I'd be seriously considering whether this girlfriend was a keeper. She may be controlling or insecure (or both) but whether she's worth 'educating' that it's perfectly possible to do things separately as well as together only you will know.0 -
What's wrong with wanting to be one of the boys from time to time?In my opinion you've got to grow up at some point. Yet, it seem still want to be one of the boys!
If my OH wanted to go around the local pubs for a stag do I wouldn't be too impressed but say ok.
If he wanted to go further afield I'd dump him. The truth is if you get up to any mischief it nearly always get back to your partner!
Why would you have a problem with your husband visiting local pubs?0 -
This is all a bit hypothetical, though, isn’t it?.
This may happen in 6 -12 months time and we don’t really know how the girlfriend will react, when push comes to shove. There seems to be no ultimatum at the moment
Having said that, now we have more detail, I wouldn’t let myself be controlled in this way0 -
My ex tried this with me, she was of the opinion that once you're in a relationship you dont need to have a social life.
I was meant to go on an end of season rugby tour & had paid for it but she refused to let me go, saying she'd booked something else for us to do that weekend. In hindsight I should have gone with my gut instinct.
She also booked a wedding venue without us even being engaged.Dwy galon, un dyhead,
Dwy dafod ond un iaith,
Dwy raff yn cydio’n ddolen,
Dau enaid ond un taith.0 -
This is all a bit hypothetical, though, isn’t it?.
This may happen in 6 -12 months time and we don’t really know how the girlfriend will react, when push comes to shove. There seems to be no ultimatum at the moment
Having said that, now we have more detail, I wouldn’t let myself be controlled in this way
I agree it's hypothetical but it's still not a reaction I'd be happy with from my partner. It signifies an attitude I wouldn't be comfortable with.0
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