Uncles Interfering Friend What To Do About It?
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I cant be on here every hour of every day. As I have already tried to get across on here my uncle is very stubborn and demanding. If my aunt didn't lift or attend to him he would start shouting and is worried she would be seen as neglecting him.
How can she be neglecting him? He can shout all he wants but how can she be seen to be neglecting someone who's only problem is being a cantankerous old man.
Maybe it's time for his wife to leave him to it, I'm sure all you concerned family will be happy to open your doors for her?0 -
So let him shout! What's the worst that can happen? She's not going to be arrested for leaving him to it.As I have already tried to get across on here my uncle is very stubborn and demanding. If my aunt didn't lift or attend to him he would start shouting and is worried she would be seen as neglecting him.
Has your aunt had a Carer's Assessment from Social Services? This is where her needs as a carer are looked at. Uncle may not like it if carers come to the house to help him up / bathe him etc, but he has a choice: accept help at home, or consider residential care.
Also do they have an alarm system, so that if / when he falls either of them can easily summon help? Would something like that enable Aunt to go out and leave him more often?Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
Seen by whom?I cant be on here every hour of every day. As I have already tried to get across on here my uncle is very stubborn and demanding. If my aunt didn't lift or attend to him he would start shouting and is worried she would be seen as neglecting him.
If she is worried that neighbours would report her, maybe adult Social Services would get involved and assess that your uncle needs to go into a care home - which is apparently what your family want to happen to your uncle anyway.
So - she stops lifting him. He shouts. He gets put in a home. Job done.
BTW, I'm not dismissing the problems for the person left providing care for a partner.
My Dad was diagnosed with dementia, my Mum (less than 5 foot tall) tried her best for him, helped by my Sister (Dad's carer) and adult Social Services who came in every day to get him up, showered & dressed as well as providing a 'sitting service' once a week so Mum could have some respite.
But there did come a time when we all realised that it was no longer viable for him to stay at home.
We arranged a visit from SS plus a nurse from our local cottage hospital and within 2 minutes, it was patently obvious to them that he'd gone downhill so fast in the last month since they'd last seen him that there really was only one option.
It was only at that point that we started looking at care homes.
Bluelass - I'd like to ask more about this
You say it was someone from the hospital elderly social services.My aunt and my cousins have been advised he needs to move into 24 hour care and have looked at some local care homes to find the right one.
Have they liaised with your uncle's GP?
Has adult Social Services - usually part of the Council - been involved?0 -
arbrighton wrote: »Tell him to BUTT out, not his family and he's not there 24 hours a day
Neither is the OP .....who has a bit of a history of diagnosing others from hearsay.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
I am calling round at my aunts this evening to see if she is ok. I got a call from one of my cousins last night and he was fuming and rightly so. My uncle got a taxi out to the pub last night as usual and my cousin phoned my aunt to confirm he had gone there and cousin decided to go into this pub to see how uncle gets on in there. Well my uncles face was a picture so im told. He has told people in there he cannot toilet himself and a really nice lady who is o the darts team takes him twice and obviously this involves taking his trousers down, and wiping him etc. He can more than manage to toilet himself and my cousinthanked this kind lady but informed her of my uncles old soldier routine and uncle was very embarrassed indeed. Not only this but my uncle has put on a considerable amount of weight and he has been telling the landlord he isn't getting fed properly at home and he is being given leftovers from dinners the landlord cooks. In essence he has been taking advantage of a lady helping him god knows why he wanted to pretend he couldn't toilet himself but my cousin who is fuming says it was for my uncles gratification as the women was a lot younger. My cousin returned with my uncle back at my aunts and told her his findings and she is livid and very upset. He has been told to alter his ways or she will be going to stay with one of my cousins or get a nice flat of her own. The lady who had been helping him to the toilet had been wiping and cleaning him up too therefore purely for attentive needs rather than practical.Britain is great but Manchester is greater0
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So he's more than capable of looking after himself but you still think he should go into a home as he needs 24hr care... do you even read your posts? None of that makes any sense.0
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Obviously my uncle has been trying to take my aunt and his sons and daughter for fools. And as I put on my last post he has been told to behave or he will be left on his own. I am going to see how my aunt is tonight but I wont be talking to him that's for sure.Britain is great but Manchester is greater0
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Obviously my uncle has been trying to take my aunt and his sons and daughter for fools. And as I put on my last post he has been told to behave or he will be left on his own. I am going to see how my aunt is tonight but I wont be talking to him that's for sure.
How has he been trying to take them for fools? They apparently decided he needed to go into a home, he (and his friend) have been saying all along that he didn't.
Do any of these people even exist?0 -
How?. By pretending he cant toilet himself so he gets some physical contact from another woman, telling a pub landlord he isn't being fed and making my aunt run herself ragged when he was capable all along. And you think he is in the right?. He is a selfish stupid man. And the lady who helped with toileting him must feel ashamed of herself now and wonder if he is some kind of perv, I think I would.Britain is great but Manchester is greater0
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How?. By pretending he cant toilet himself so he gets some physical contact from another woman, telling a pub landlord he isn't being fed and making my aunt run herself ragged when he was capable all along. And you think he is in the right?. He is a selfish stupid man. And the lady who helped with toileting him must feel ashamed of herself now and wonder if he is some kind of perv, I think I would.
Never takes long for the real bluelass to come out!
Is there anyone you do like bluelass?0
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