Uncles Interfering Friend What To Do About It?

LilElvis

bluelass wrote: »

Harassment and the fact the police gave him a warning which has been put on file means it was taken seriously. People cant just interfere in another persons family life thinking they know it all. And as I said before the man is lucky he wasn't prosecuted given the police were told he said he would take my uncle and not return him. He will still see uncle in the pub but must not annoy my aunt or other family members and if he does he will be prosecuted and could get banged up.

Says the woman contemplating calling social services on her stepsons partner ………

peachyprice

bluelass wrote: »

I got to hear about it yesterday evening. And why should a man harassing my aunt and causing trouble be allowed into a house which is her home too?. The man is lucky he can still socialise with uncle and not been prosecuted. I am not directly involved but just updated by phone.

That is so wrong on so many levels.

The man is your uncles FRIEND and it would seem the only person looking out for what he wants. It sounds as if your aunt is bullying your uncle into submission, how very big of her to agree that they can still have a drink together.

You do know there is a difference between 'a social worker from the local hospital elderly services dept who recommended my uncle should receive 24 hour care' and trying to shove him into a care home against his wishes? 24 hour care in his home is absolutely possible, even preferable, seems all your aunt heard was what she wanted to hear,

suki1964

I wish the ops husband could see this thread, see what his own future looks like

elsien

bluelass wrote: »

Harassment and the fact the police gave him a warning which has been put on file means it was taken seriously. People cant just interfere in another persons family life thinking they know it all. And as I said before the man is lucky he wasn't prosecuted given the police were told he said he would take my uncle and not return him. He will still see uncle in the pub but must not annoy my aunt or other family members and if he does he will be prosecuted and could get banged up.

Not necessarily. A harrassment warning is not a formal caution, and it does not necessarily stay on file forever. It is basically a notice telling someone that if their behaviour continues then it may be considered to have escalated into harrassment further down the line. It does not need any level of proof other than one person's word for it, and that person could be lying through their teeth. There is a huge gap between that and there being enough evidence to prosecute someone. A police officer cannot say that someone will be prosecuted as that is not their decision to make, the police arrest and charge; the CPS decide whether or not to take it any further.

elsien

bluelass wrote: »

. However he and my uncle can still have a drink together providing he does not do this again.

I would also like to point out that the police have no right to tell people who they can or can't have a drink with. That is your uncle's decision, unless there are particular safeguarding issues which is clearly not the case here.

Pollycat

LilElvis wrote: »

Says the woman contemplating calling social services on her stepsons partner ………

Dammit, LilElvis - you beat me to it. :mad:

Poppie68

Maybe butt out of it and let his own family deal with it! There should be a law against interfering busybody family members.

Poppie68

From the first post it sounds like a man who is still mobile and has still got all his facilities is worried his family are trying to shove him into a place he doesn't want or need to go, has a friend who he enjoys socialising with, and has discussed his very valid fears to him. The uncle certainly doesn't seem to have a problem with him and most probably feels he needs someone in his corner, I wouldn't be surprised if he has discussed his friend springing him out if the family do get their way.

That's if it's not just a warped figment of this posters mind!

Pollycat

Poppie68 wrote: »

From the first post it sounds like a man who is still mobile and has still got all his facilities is worried his family are trying to shove him into a place he doesn't want or need to go, has a friend who he enjoys socialising with, and has discussed his very valid fears to him. The uncle certainly doesn't seem to have a problem with him and most probably feels he needs someone in his corner, I wouldn't be surprised if he has discussed his friend springing him out if the family do get their way.

That's my take on it too, Poppie.

The OP started a thread a while back and posted this:

bluelass wrote: »

Should old or disabled people go into care if they cant look after themselves? My answer is yes they should. If someone needs 24 hour assistance and they are very handicapped (need lifting, spoon fed and toileting etc). No one could do it single handed 24/7 what if they cant sleep because the person they look after is always trying to get out and wander off. And not everyone has the ability to be a unqualified nurse maid so I think it is justified.

Does anyone else think her uncle doesn't fall into the category she describes above?

Gavin83

bluelass wrote: »

My uncle was assessed by social services after they were contacted by his GP. He is getting worse on his feet and confused and their is no way my aunt could manage him. He now refuses his meds and I was informed last sunday he is refusing to eat.

Has he been refusing his meds and food since the suggestion of a care home? He may be doing it in protest.

As someone who knows a little about care home assessments he won't be going. If he has capacity to be going to the pub by himself and discussing these matters with his friend he doesn't require a care home placement. Social services will not authorise a care home place unless someone really needs it, they're extremely strict about these matters. They'll almost certainly require other solutions to be tested first too, such as homecare.

You can't just place someone into care, it doesn't work like that.